Oh, also. Should I stick with onomatopoeia or should I go back to saying stuff like "Chair scooting sound"?

>>323791
considering the lack of image its better for you to describe the sound. purple prose is not really needed.

>>323815
Thanks. Erh. Purple prose? Am I overdoing it?

I'll try and tone it down.

>>323825
The purple prose is OK. Just as long as it's not for every single character.

>>323827
Right-o! *Salutes* I shall do that then.

Hey... uhm... what do all those square brackets mean?

Sorry, never encountered them before in a quest, but it might just be me.

they are most often used as both things said only to other voices or action phrases. for example:
[cut music when she answers]
means exactly that, cut the music.

>>323852
Darn, if that was the case, I would have let it cut out the first paragraph. Well I know better now. ^_^ Thanks for letting me know.

and knowing is half the battle! J.I. JOE!

AUGH! I pressed the wrong button and started a thread! And it won't let me delete it!

call a mod.

That's some pretty bullshit railroading there Selphie.

In fact on further reflection, it's bullshit enough that I'm picking up my toys and going home.

while it pisses me off i still hope it is going somewhere.

a tip, the difference between a difficult situation and railroad is avoidability. if we had any hint at all that the maid was a spy and this happened it wouldn't be a railroad.

oh, that's the chapter mark.

yeah, you kinda pissed everyone off with that stunt. it was like:
okay you seem like a normal maid i'll follow you.
'I'm a spy!' ffffffffffffff run!!
'can't i have chloroform'
reverse headbutt then!
'can't, tranq dart'

I made a mistake with the railroad, I admit. Poor planning on my part, I apologise.

I don't think I can redo.

well, at least you admit it, that's more then we could say for some.

I just couldn't think of a better way to get the rest of the story on. Plus, I was worried that the whole chapter was dragging on a bit.

But I'll keep the railroading faggotry down to a minimum from now on. Promise.

By the way, how do I pack up this quest to shove in the archives later? I don't know how to call the mods, to be honest. >_< Do I just click on "Report Thread"?

i don't know, but you should have to, this chapter was actually rather short compared to a lot of quests. if you make them all that large then you could fit around 3 per thread.


also, what do you mean by 'dragging on'?

I was told that quests run for about 150 posts per chapter?

I wasn't sure I was very good at describing what Rachel could see and I admit to poor planning of the castle part.

Basically, haven't run a quest before. Wasn't sure how to run one, and very bad at planning. >_< I was pretty sure I was sucking badly.

Should have checked the discussion thread earlier though. >_< I originally planned for a longer castle walk.

>_< I suck.

the maximum number of posts in a thread can be 1000, as long as it's less then that it can keep going.

your descriptions were fine.

and 'how to run one' is mostly however you feel like. if we REALLY don't like something we will tell you.

i would say the worst thing you did was ending the chapter prematurely to fit some arbitrary post limit.

So, I can have up to 1000 posts per thread? That's... >_< I thought I had to wrap it up in 150! Damn.

Okay. Since I cannot do a redo from chapterfail, I will attempt to have much less faggotry in Chapter 2. One can only learn from ones mistakes.

Actually, can I redo from chapterfail?

if you can delete all posts up to there then i guess you could.

still confused about how you thought 150 was the limit, didn't you read any archived threads? a lot are over 500.

That's what I was told. The friend that introduced me to this board said that that was the limit for the chapters. Anything above was run by mods.

I figured it made sense, considering how many quests in the archives ended half-way or just plain weirdly.

It's not letting me delete stuff. >_< It keeps saying "Incorrect Password."

>_<

whelp, then we gotta roll with it.

see the password box under 'file'? make sure every post you make has the same password. then type that password into the delete box and check box the posts. if the same password was use in the delete as the one you made it with it will delete. use firefox so it auto-saves the password.

Okay. Do that from now on.

;_; Waaaah, I wanted to do cool stuff with armour and things... ;_;

hey, don't be like that, we can do cooler stuff with better armor.

Okay. Hm, you're right about asking firefox to save the password. I just tried it out and it let me delete the post. This is a good thing.

Also: I updated that whole wiki thing, because bored. ^_^ Since I said I'll wait 24 hours, I will start Chapter 2 in 24 hours like I said. Not very good at editing wikis, though. It won't let me put up the picture that I have of Fubar.

I can't draw, but I can vandalise the heck out of a picture of a sparrow.

also, give us a drawing, even a crappy one. only another person can accurately judge drawings because a lot of people think they are worse then they are.

I've fixed the formatting.

Uh. Hm. I'll see what I can do but... It's mostly stick figures and stuff. You'll have to make do with like lots of arrows pointing to things and saying stuff like "Imagine this is an armour".

Plus, I don't actually have any drawing editing tools other than paint. >_<

Trust me, any drawing I do will ultimately be really awful and worse than me attempting to describe it.

only other way is a pencil, paper, and a scanner. my computer pictures also suck a lot, but i'm fairly okay with paper drawings, so try that.

I'll see what I can do, but just so you know, I failed art for all my years of schooling.

haha, well, you could just draw a minimap. it would help us understand spacial relations and you only need dots to represent people.

Minimaps... I can do. From Chapter 2 onwards, you will somehow have managed to creep enough into Rachel's conciousness to get mini-maps. XD

I made a mini-map. Is it okay?

would say it's okay. you may need to be more detailed about what is in there. i don't see a chamber pot listed...

>>324024
Ehee... *Embarrassed* The chamber pot was spawned when people asked for one. >_>

be careful with that. if you are too lenient with what is in a room them people will try to spawn things that should be there.

I won't be... too lenient. >_<

I mean, some of the suggestions... @_@

a personality is different then railroading. if character 'A' does not want to do something that's fine. if they listened to what anyone told them to do no matter what then she would still be in the tower playing with her tits or something. but if a lot of people all suggest the same action then they should reluctantly do it. a lot would be in the neighborhood of 7 yes and 0 no.

Gotcha.

More excuses for lack of maps on Princess Nadia: The Princess is blind.

>>324042
you already contradicted that in quest. how would she be able to point towards the ninja maid if she is blind? being unable to look that deeply into the mind of someone we never met is fine.

>>324043
She's blind and dumb, but not deaf.

Also, I did say it was an excuse. >_>

sorry, was confused, i forgot 'dumb' was another word for mute.
but if she can't see how can she learn sign language?

>>324047
Sorry, not PC. >_> I forgot mute was another word of dumb.

You can learn hand signs by feeling them on other people. I preferred this method to doing that whole scribbling on palm method that Helen Keller had going on.

GRAH! >_< I just realised how... very wrong the lastest mini-map looks.

Freud would have a field day. >_>

Let's just chalk it up to Rachel thinking of what she just saw. -_-;;

>>324133
i didn't even notice until you pointed it out just now.

I have trauma. >_<

>>324133
Yeah I'm not seeing it.

Maybe it's just me and my pervert friend then.

yeah, it's rather bland. it's a long hallway with two round rooms near it. i see what you are getting at but because the rooms are not touching the hallway it is a LOT less obvious.

Anyone have any tips for preventing a 2 year old from constantly fiddling with your computer? >_<

Love the kid, he's adorable, but he gets into everything! @_@

passwords. that's pretty much it.

I have 'em... It's more the pulling out wires and things that I'm concerned about, really.

if he is pulling out wires then you are boned. nothing can stop a kid when he wants to play with 'strings'

Put his body in a sock-mitten, thus preventing him from actually handling anything and hampering movement.

Distract him with other stuff. He's two, he needs constant attention and interaction.

He's adorable. Just a little destructive. I'm afraid my house doesn't provide much in children's entertainment.

Okay, seriously, what is Xon? I've seen him come up in other quests, but have no idea what he/she/it is...

>>324621
god of mischief. read Dorf Quest for his first appearance.

Oh. Right. Read. I will consider adding him to the pantheon. -_- Looks like he has a distinct personality, though. Might not be able to make a realistic portrayal of Xom.

We are the Horse Whisperers.

That poor horse. ;_;

>>324668

Pretty much "that poor anyone" for whoever we end up talking to.

Yeah, but I can't fault you for cruelty to animals when you talk to other characters.

>>324681

I'd pretend to be hurt and claim that you've maligned us, but you're pretty much right.

Why did you change your mind about what the crystal sensed through its rapport with Nadia?

I thought it was a bit too obvious. >_> She's clearly hiding something. <_<

I guess after I posted it, I felt kinda... stupid that I even wrote that when it was stupidly obvious. So I rewrote the post. >_<

732129, why did you go full retard?

>>324786

It was that or suggest a scrotum dance.

Guh. Feeling a bit like Rachel does after a ride on a horse ++ Gem. >_<

No more MSG-laden meals for me. @_@ >_<

have some oatmeal, it will calm your stomach.

Not so much nausea as opposed to a splitting headache. Had some pillz with water. -_-

Thanks for the tip though, will search house for oatmeal.

Sorry about the lack of updates of late. I have been busy for the past few days. @_@ New job and all. ^_^

That spell was cast by Nina right?

I've been thinking about the sorts of gun designs we can present Rachel with. Each of the classic weapons, from matchlock smoothbores to percussion cartridge breech loaders, has its own advantages and disadvantages. Breech loaders in particular will require machining capability that is probably beyond what a simple blacksmith can do in a mass-production run. One-off weapons could be done by blacksmiths, but they would be comparatively delicate weapons and would be best issued to elite skirmishers.

A .52 caliber muzzle-loader flintlock or percussion cap gun in the style of an 1840 smoothbore would be just about on the edge of what I would expect a blacksmith to be able to make without specialized machine tools. This would be a hammer-forged barrel, no rifling, French lock gun firing a minie ball style bullet (even without rifling, getting the bullet to mate to the barrel when fired is a big boost to power and accuracy). Flintlocks are nice because they make it possible for the army to scavenge its own black powder and bullet supplies in the field without regard for percussion cap availability. They're a downer because they're not as easy to use in a fight, and they reload at a slower rate than a percussion cap gun.


Just so I don't forget, here is an important patent for a corrosion prevention lube designed specifically for black powder weapons.

This one in particular is excellent because it is made of stuff that any place with a pine lumber industry would have. Once we start making guns, we'll want them to last a long time.

http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PALL&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsrchnum.htm&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1=6,105,591.PN.&OS=PN
/6,105,591&RS=PN/6,105,591

we may be able to create the tools needed to make some more complex weaponry.

>>324899

Yeah you can make the tools to make the tools, but remember that for these things to be useful we'll want to have as many of them being made as possible.

A 25-man operation of trained gunsmiths using a water wheel for power can turn out amazing numbers of arms (~10,000 per annum if memory serves) if they're using production line techniques. It isn't unreasonable to plan on needing 10,000 arms to outfit an army to fight for an area the size of Utah (because that's about how big Kai is).

Keep in mind that in addition to making long arms, we'll need to have the smiths making all the normal arms and armor, and we'll need to have them making siege weapons.

In fact, artillery and siege mortars will probably be more important to taking Kai back in the short run.

>>324894
Whoever cast the magic, the vocals were heavily distorted by the white noise. Coulda been anyone.

Since this is your first quest, I've got a couple of suggestions.

First, you've been keeping a tight reign on what we can do. We can talk and cajole, and play sounds, and exert a great deal of influence on someone who isn't aware of what the crystal is or who is in a state of shock, and that's about it. That's actually really good for letting you keep control of the game without it feeling "gamey." If you give the crystal the ability to cast spells, or let it have access to someone's physical state information, or have a deeper effect on them, you're giving up a lot of control to no useful end.

Second, rape usually is not a very good literary device. It's possible for it to be, but usually it's not. So far this treatment is looking to be leaning on the "not" side.

You should make clear what happened, because otherwise you'll have a bunch of posts from neckbeards shitting up the game with crap like "[check her 'cycle' so we know what chance an accidental sibling for rachel has of occurring.

luckily, sitting upright and riding a horse helps with this as the bouncing motion would shake some... stuff, out of 'there']"

That's inaccurate and dumb.

Third, I've been irritated by the consistently dumb moves the characters have been making. Do they really need us to suggest things like changing their hair color when they're on the run? There are mistakes made for the sake of the story, and then there is the state of displaying no self-preservation instincts at all.

>>324913
You raise a lot of valid points, and a lot that I feel I need to counter.

The first concern is that you approach the quest from a literary angle, which is not always valid when it comes to quests. That's valid for ones like MSPA where the author has a story to tell and what people suggest is relegated to adding flavor along the path, but not ones where suggesters are playing a significant role in the story.

The second concern is that you're speaking of rape as a literary device, not as an event. The problem with rape in fiction is that it almost never handled properly, and the reason for that is in point number three. It's much too soon to make any calls on the handling now, but the proper way to handle your concerns is to provide the writer with the information she needs to do a good job, not bemoan how you think it will go poorly.

The third concern is that you are putting an unreasonable burden on Selphie. It is self-evident that any character a person can accurately write cannot be more intelligent than that person.
Selphie's ability to write on topics is limited by her knowledge and understanding of those topics. Worse still, she doesn't have the luxury of revising the entire story holistically before publishing it.

Overall? You're being kind of a dick. You have unreasonable expectations, and you're presenting your concerns with hostility.
I think this condenses the salient point: http://www.egscomics.com/egsnp/?date=2010-02-16

>>324914

What I am has no bearing at all on this. You've resorted to an ad hominem attack, you stuck-up dumb tripfag fuck. Oh, look, I can do it too! It'd be far better to leave personal attacks out of this discussion.

As to your other points, this is a game with a heavy literary slant because it's a text game on a forum. If we treat rape as a device to catalyze game play instead of as a literary device, the situation is even worse.

Is rape fun? Is post-rape trauma fun? Is dealing with a rape victim fun?

No.

Games are supposed to be fun.

>>324913
*Sighs* This is a bit of a headache. Okay, I'll address your points as I go.

1. I don't believe I've given anyone access to this yet. You're assuming that I have. Which I haven't.

2. Any period of time under threat of war and with loads of corruption is going to be pretty terrible - especially to women. While the characters will be dealing with this, it is not the focus of the quest. I do not believe I have any reason to make the issue any clearer because it isn't clear in the mind of the person it happened to, let alone her friends and family who saw her in a compromising position.

You are assuming that I have control over the comments that other players are making. I do not.

The only issue I have with your statement is the allegation that I find rape "fun". It is not.

3. I believe that the characters came up with the idea of hair dyes on their own.

Look, I know that you're trying to help, but Seven01a19 is right. The learning curve on this quest is already pretty steep. Since I've started this quest, I've had to look up and learn about several different types of weapons and languages, varying states of economy, several different political states, chemistry and basic weapon making. This is on top of the IT stuff I already have to learn for my new job.

You're working me very hard for very little thanks.

;_; Selphie stressed.

>>324915
Also, please try to keep it civil in here. Swearing at each other is not very nice.

>>324923

Good luck with your job, Selphie.

Including rape in a game isn't something that should be done lightly. I appreciate that you're attempting to make a good game, but using rape to make the game more serious and lend validity to Nadia's claims about the country going to ruin seems ill conceived to me.

This is the second time I've become upset by your game, and so I'm going to take my leave.

first, thanks for making the quest.

second, if one thing readers like most it's fixing problems and they WILL fix it. if you give them an un-winnable situation they will cry 'Railroad!' and quit. that's the reason why adding rape was a poor move, it is nearly impossible to fix. but it doesn't mean they wont try, and until they fix it they will forget about fixing other things completely.

>>324933
Unlike a lot of the other things I've been handling in this quest, this is at least something I have some experience with, so I'm willing to take it fairly seriously. I don't think that it can be "won" so to speak, but it can be "managed".

Oh, and thanks for playing. It's nice to feel appreciated, even if my writing isn't the best.

>>324936

I don't think you should use tgchan as therapy

>>324952

Thats sick, she is not doing that

pretty sure Selphie just means she knows someone who was raped.

>>324915
Er, an Ad Hominum attack is one where you claim that a person's argument is less valid because of who they are. It doesn't include pointless name calling, and certainly doesn't include negative descriptors of people's actions.

Keep in mind that I didn't say "You are a dick", I said "You are being a dick"; there is a rather large distinction between the two.

>>324923
Rape is fun when it's it's fake - I don't mean rape in fiction, I mean real life consenting adults playing out rape scenarios together.
I could write pages and pages on the human psyche and how it reacts to rape and similar violations, but this isn't the place for it.

However, I can say a few things that I think most people should know:
Once a rape victim has recovered to the point of being functional, it's vital to treat them like you would any other person. Treating them with kid gloves just contributes to their feelings of being broken or defective.
That contributes to feelings such as shame and humiliation that encourage them to keep it secret, which compounds the issue by making them feel worse for needing to hide it.

Beyond that? Don't make assumptions about how they 'should' be acting. People cope with trauma in different ways, and unless you're a trained professional you should let them do what works. If you suspect they're engaging in very unhealthy behavior, then ask a professional for advice on how to respond instead of acting on your own.

>>324952
Not as a replacement for professional therapy, no, but don't doubt that it can be very therapeutic.

No, I don't have professional training, but I have a bit of practical experience counseling.

an example of ad hominum would be 'you are wrong because you are Hitler's great great great great nephew'

Hm. Thread's getting a bit lengthy. I should put a chaptermark in soon and start a new thread.

>_>

good end mark would be when everyone is going to sleep.

Rachel Puzzle moved to Archives. Next thread starting up sometime after getting to talk to y'all to decide what you're planning on doing with Rachel... >_> Wanna get some idea of where each of you thinks this is going and stuff.

Also: Nadia needs a new name.

my goal: get out of the country and build a sniper rifle. when the high prince steps out onto the balcony to give a speech his head will disappear. no one will be able to figure out what happened due to the weapon used not being in existence anywhere else and the range from which it was used would make tracking not possible.
name: Susan.

>>325097
I don't know if the metalworking technology is capable of that level of quality. How straight a barrel can they make? How even can they rifle it? Could they design a proper breach-loading or revolver system, or would it need to be break-loaded? I'm certain that semi/automatic fire is beyond their capabilities.

Really, we should be looking into shotguns, short/mid-range scoped rifles, and flash suppressors.

Still, I do agree with getting out of the country; we should head for an ally that the high prince has alienated and who would be receptive to our requests for aid.

Seven is correct. With current machining techniques (none), building a scope and rifle barrel would be impossible.

well what if we upgraded them? build the tools to build tools and such?

ack

words
---
words

means a time lapse. as in
i say this thing
--- time passes
this is said.

I took it to mean you repeated it to Nina later. >_> Sorry, Daniella is an act now think later person.

Incidentally, just so you know, ???'s mental voice sounds like it's maybe 3 or 6 years old.

it's ether something that never learned or is perpetually immature.

>>325197
I actually DID intend for "---" to mean "wait until we're in Nina's hands"

>>325164
Not impossible, but there would be a degree of error to make sniping very improbable.
If they have telescopes then they can craft a fixed-magnification scope and firmly mount it to the weapon, then experiment and adjust to get it to line up. The firing arc would be fixed so they couldn't adjust it to account for range, but for short to mid-range use it would be accurate enough. We certainly know enough to produce a weapon more accurate than the old long rifles, at least.
If we can get blacksmith capable of making brass cartridges then we could get a RoF of close to 10 times the peak rate of the English longbow.

Brass cartridiges and the like would be iffy to make given the big hammering techniques of making things metal at the moment. If you must go for a sniping weapon, try a crossbow. We haven't invented those yet.

let's go one better, ballista.