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4015 No. 4015 ID: e31d52

Horror story time!

I'll start~

Now, the first time I met The Ravenloft DM was away from the table. He was a pretty big guy. Almost morbidly obese, but he was alright to talk to. Until you spoke of two things: 40k or religion. Jesus fuck this guy hated religion. He wasn't athiest. He hated god SO FUCKING MUCH, he had to believe in Him.

So he's starting a campaign. Myse;f, being a freshmen to the college at the time, was eager to meet new people.
"Very well, my good man, I shall step up to the plate!"
"I see that," he responded, "what shall you play?"
Now, I thought to myself, and said, internally: I love playing clerics. I love Cuthbert. But he hated religion as a rule. So instead, spake I:
"I will play a cleric who worships Law."
He pauses for a moment, looking through the book. Helpfully, I add, "If it's alright, I will take the Law and Strength domains. They are listed under Cuthbert."
"Then why not follow Cuthbert?" asks he. Respond I:
"I would, but I know your stance on dogma, and,"
He waves his hand and smiles.
"Worry not! I bring not such grudges to the table."

Oh, how I wish I knew how much a bald-faced liar he was.
Expand all images
>>
No. 4016 ID: e31d52

So twenty minutes later, I have before me Thokka, the Half-Orc Cleric of Cuthbert, level ze one. I am very very excited to begin, and he notes that three others will be playing as well, and we discuss at length my place in the lore and the setting: My mother was a missionary of Cuthbert, sent to the Orc tribes to teach them of the power of Law and convert them to the ways of cuthbert. Along the way, she fell in love with the cheiftan and it was babies ever after. I have two brothers, appaerently, one who was raised among the orcs, and another who did not inherit the divine spark and instead wanders the world as a fighter. Very well, says I, and I meet the other three players:
William 'Fasthands' Rance, a human rogue.
Gerath Tulmek, the Wizard, elven in persuasion but raised by men.
And lastly, but definitely not least, Stoneface Rockbeard the fighter. Three guesses as to his race, first two don't count!

So begins are beloved adventure, and all is well, until I encounter William picking a lock late one evening. I open my mouth to chastise him, when the DM speaks up, rolling a die.
"Critical." I raise an eyebrow. He rolls more dice. "30 damage. Upon seeing a crime in progress, Thokka raises his warhammer and brings it mightily down on Willaim's arm, severing it roughly near the shoulder.

It got worse.
>>
No. 4017 ID: e31d52

Oh, and it did. It so very much did.
"But wait," says I, "Thokka would not have done such a thing!"
"Yes, you would," replieth he, "For your alignment is Lawful Nuetral. Cuthbert himself guided your hammer. You should be pleased."
"Nay, I am not!" said I, angered at this treachery. "He was a friend! If some outside force controlled Thokka, he will attempt to bandage and stabalize William. Even criminals deserve that much.
The DM nods, as if this is a sage thing and not a travesty. Thankfully, I have ranks in Heal, and manage to stabilize him before healing him: He was at the brink of death. Having done this thing, I carry him to the apotha-NOPE!
"You deposit William into the nearest gaurd station's cell, where he may await proper investigation."
"But I said I wanted to take him to the apothacary!"
"Your character would have imprisoned him. That's what Lawful characters do."
"Very well." sayeth I. "I send for the apothecary instead, to heal William's wounds. William is not angry at me, in fact, no one is. They are all angry at the DM, as well they should be.

I pay for the apothecary, then move to my party, and tell them of what happened. That I was beset by fell energies, and nearly took the life of a friend. Said I: "I shall seek out my father. Perhaps this bloodlust has roots in my heritage." And off I went.


There was no awnser to be found there. My mother called it a blessing. My father merely shook his head. He knew not what plagued me.

Time passed, there were few incidents. Levels were gained. I was pleased to see that no further treachery was played. But then...

"It seems to me that the rouge would be best suited for this mission." Say I, referring to the noble's house where we believe a powerful evil artifact to be held.

"You have lost your connection with Cuthbert." he replies.

The table is silent. I stand.

I leave.

Later I learned that the Wizard was sent to Ravenloft, the fighter ended up executed (drawn and quartered, and the rogue was the sole survivor as a limbless torso.
>>
No. 4018 ID: 7a28df

>>314017
>"It seems to me that the rouge would be best suited for this mission." Say I, referring to the noble's house where we believe a powerful evil artifact to be held.
You are bad at stealth. Red stands out.
>>
No. 4026 ID: f4963f

FFFFFF-

I cannot match that bullshit. What the hell.
>>
No. 4030 ID: 383547
File 127939779574.jpg - (308.61KB , 1000x361 , !AlignmentsinDnD.jpg )
4030

>"Your character would have imprisoned him. That's what Lawful characters do."

FFFFF-

This is why I dislike D&D alignments. Whilst they can be at first a good base to start pulling the rest of a character's personality together for a player, it seems like they end up being abused for bullshit like this all the fucking time.
>>
No. 4033 ID: e3ff7f

>>314030
that's why all my guys are true neutral. he doesn't care ether way about strangers, will go out of his way to save his friends and cast his enemies into eternal damnation.
>>
No. 4039 ID: f95872

>>314030
protip: That's not how alignments are supposed to work.
>>
No. 4040 ID: a594b9

>>314017
>sole survivor, limbless torso

Uh. What did he do, hop away from whatever took his legs and arm?
>>
No. 4041 ID: e02b2c
File 127955516028.jpg - (37.65KB , 500x450 , monty-python-and-the-holy-grail.jpg )
4041

>>314040
"It's but a flesh wound."
>>
No. 4042 ID: e31d52

>>314040
It was a punishment of law, enacted by my character after I left.
>>
No. 4043 ID: 526102

>>314042
Cutting off the hands for thievery I can understand.
What did he cut the legs off for? Running away?
>>
No. 4050 ID: b8883a

Ech. Lawful doesn't neccisarily mean the laws of the land. A pirate with a moral code could be lawful. A lawyer could be chaotic (though I doubt they'd get many clients).
It's all about order on that axis.
>>
No. 4057 ID: f4963f
File 127977124327.jpg - (100.63KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Goddamnit_Poster.jpg )
4057

>>314050
>A lawyer could be chaotic (though I doubt they'd get many clients.)

Nicolas would like you to know that he gets plenty of clients, thank you very much.
>>
No. 4058 ID: e31d52

>>314043
Actually, it was because he tried to seduce royalty when she had an arranged marriage. Took the arm for 'stealing her heart', and the legs for 'breaking a contract and skipping town'.
>>
No. 4063 ID: a594b9

>>314058
Sounds like what a Lawful Evil cleric would do.
>>
No. 4095 ID: c4c313

Sounds like what a lawful evil GM would do.

Anyway, my story begins with an insane were-rat druid. Yes I make difficult characters. The whole focus of her character was that if her fellow druids discovered she was an abomination and an affront to nature at any time, they would tear her to ribbons. So I joined a group with this character, and I'm playing it up, dangling my dark secret around like it were a handkerchief with just the barest hint of blood on it. One of the other characters (a sorcerer) bluntly demands to know what my secret is. I forget exactly how he worded it but it wasn't the sort of thing my character would tell anyone ever at pain of death or worse. Also he was being totally meta, and I suspect he snuck a peek at my character sheet before that.

So I refuse of course. And the GM is all "Oh, well, I think you need to roll to see if he intimidates you or not." Intimidate being a Charisma battul. The players had been cool before, but now with this sudden rules flinging I was beginning to wonder. So I ask what his Charisma is.

It's a natural 20.

The GM let him start his Charisma at a natural 20. That's God tier Charisma. That's Anubis balancing your heart to take you to the afterlife or leave you to be eaten by Ammit the gobbler. Okay so it's not 25 but OH HELL HE HAS A CLOAK OF CHARISMA +5

He had a natural Charisma of 20 and the GM gave him a cloak of +5. Basically I was looking into the eyes of Set himself. Oh and guess what ability score is behind a Sorcerer's powers? Charisma. So the GM said that to stay in character I had to tell my secret. I'm not sure if the other players looked on sympathetically or curiously as I shut my little binder and went home.
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