Nalthar 2023/12/09(Sat)17:51 No. 141368 ID: 76615e
File 170217307932.jpg - (247.13KB , 1000x800 , letter recieved.jpg )

Martah: (I've been invited to a 'Christmas Party'? Have you ever heard of this?)

Jormun: (Let me check the database... hmm, not a lot left. I've got part of an tutorial about how to wrap gifts... a song about a man who spies on people. Ooh, and a recipe for a cake that looks like a log!)

Martah: (I have to get a gift for someone, but this just says they like drawing people and music? What sort of things do artists like?)

Jormun: (Paper! Paint! Kneaded erasers! Graphite! Burnt umb-)

Martah: (Yes! Got it. I think I've got the perfect idea.

Nalthar 2023/12/09(Sat)17:51 No. 141370 ID: 76615e
File 170217310502.jpg - (510.76KB , 1000x800 , gathering ingredients.jpg )

I just need the right ingredients.)

Nalthar 2023/12/09(Sat)17:56 No. 141371 ID: 76615e
File 170217336482.jpg - (599.99KB , 1000x800 , making christmas.jpg )

♪ Making Christmas ♪

Nalthar 2023/12/09(Sat)17:58 No. 141372 ID: 76615e
File 170217349474.jpg - (316.95KB , 1000x800 , trying on sweater.jpg )

Martah: (Are you sure about this?)

Jormun: (The article said you should wear fun sweaters at Christmas parties, and this was the only pattern I could find. It looks good on you!)

Martah: (mmm, that's true.)

Nalthar 2023/12/09(Sat)17:58 No. 141373 ID: 76615e
File 170217353227.jpg - (245.26KB , 1000x800 , ready to go.jpg )

Martah: (And now to arrive at the party via a method that is totally cannon.)

Jormun: (Have fun!)

Nalthar 2023/12/09(Sat)17:59 No. 141374 ID: 76615e
File 170217355011.jpg - (626.19KB , 1000x800 , arrived.jpg )

Martah: (I have arrived.)

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/13(Wed)12:31 No. 141389 ID: dc13c4
File 170249946474.jpg - (86.66KB , 374x422 , BB 1141.jpg )

Anthony: "Hahahaha!"

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/13(Wed)12:31 No. 141390 ID: dc13c4
File 170249951087.jpg - (121.55KB , 431x431 , BB 1142.jpg )

Anthony: "I’m from Minnesota, Clown. This is just winter where I’m from.

And an actual Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all as well."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/13(Wed)12:32 No. 141391 ID: dc13c4
File 170249955364.jpg - (108.59KB , 356x452 , BB 1143.jpg )

Spikey: "Then go eat yellow snow if you like the winter so much."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/13(Wed)12:33 No. 141392 ID: dc13c4
File 170249959172.jpg - (80.07KB , 353x425 , BB 1144.jpg )

Spikey: "What I would like to do now is read up on the person to whom I will give the gift."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/13(Wed)12:34 No. 141393 ID: dc13c4
File 170249966891.jpg - (86.91KB , 404x404 , BB 1145.jpg )

Spikey: "So what will your strategy be for figuring out what your charter gift would be."

Naocat 2023/12/19(Tue)15:22 No. 141410 ID: 17abec
File 170302816407.gif - (24.76KB , 560x535 , Secret Santa 1.gif )

Zenith lies in bed, asleep as ever. He stirs, slowly opening his eyes to the ceiling. An unfamiliar ceiling. This is not the apartment.

Naocat 2023/12/19(Tue)15:24 No. 141411 ID: 17abec
File 170302824321.gif - (27.58KB , 560x521 , Secret Santa 2.gif )

He jolts up in the mysteriously soft bed, scared and confused. “Cooper? Wh… Where am I? What-”

Naocat 2023/12/19(Tue)15:24 No. 141412 ID: 17abec
File 170302828457.gif - (72.22KB , 560x467 , Secret Santa 3.gif )

He’s cut off by a deep groan and a grab on the shoulder. “Mng… Zeen…” He’s dragged back down by a strong, spotted arm. “Zeen… We’re on vacation… I’m sleeping in and you are too…” Cooper mutters.

Naocat 2023/12/19(Tue)15:25 No. 141413 ID: 17abec
File 170302835743.png - (389.98KB , 1622x1584 , Secret Santa 4.png )

“Oh… Haha… That’s right. Thank you, Cooper.” They huff in response, sending a hot breath on Zenith’s cheek. The cuddle-bugs stay in bed for a bit longer, enjoying the quiet air.

They cuddle their beloved bird and stuff their snout in his feathers. His racing heart slows down, remembering where he is. He’s at the Mt. Fjellberg Mega Ski-lodge for a Questden Getaway or something like that.

tippler 2023/12/22(Fri)12:36 No. 141422 ID: 9ea24b
File 170327737325.png - (11.72KB , 500x500 , a31a.png )

"Let's take care of our gift giving before we get too casual. I think I saw the couple we were assigned cuddling in the corner."

tippler 2023/12/22(Fri)12:37 No. 141423 ID: 9ea24b
File 170327743305.png - (11.02KB , 500x500 , a31b.png )

"Great idea Boudica! I don't think this bed sheet toga has any pockets so I hope you came with something in that hoodie."

tippler 2023/12/22(Fri)12:39 No. 141424 ID: 9ea24b
File 170327759983.png - (15.40KB , 500x500 , a31c.png )

Lo and behold, Boudica pulls out a novelty sex item from within her hoodie, perhaps stashed there from an age gone by. The box of penis shaped pasta will provide a humorous and delicious home cooked meal.

Happy Secret Santa to Zenith and Cooper from Boudica and Mike!

haha whoops Naocat 2023/12/22(Fri)16:02 No. 141425 ID: 17abec
File 170328974130.png - (179.47KB , 750x580 , Secret Santa Damage Control.png )

Eventually, the two have enough chaste and very clothed cuddling and decide to get up in their booked room. Zenith slips out of the bed in their pajamas, something they can’t quite wear to breakfast. “I wonder what they have to eat here…” Cooper gets out of bed too, making the bed before getting dressed themselves. They’re wearing their matching lighter pajamas, as they’ve had a toasty bird to sleep with for the night. The two are both somewhat out of their element, as Zebra Finches thrive at more moderate temperatures and Cooper’s had their fur shorn. Zenith checks on their present for a personification of fears, and since they were a bee, they figured it must be a hard climate for them too. They managed to find a nice sweater, one with a cute embroidered flower pattern.

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/22(Fri)16:42 No. 141426 ID: dc13c4
File 170329217847.jpg - (77.71KB , 342x358 , BB 1149.jpg )

Spikey: "Well I just finished reading about my target and from what I learned it is practically a medieval fantasy, people living in tribes, no existence of social media or Indore plumings maybe they have magical toilets or somthing, I am not sure. But what I am sure about is the present that I will give to my target."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/22(Fri)16:44 No. 141427 ID: dc13c4
File 170329229898.jpg - (134.10KB , 736x362 , BB 1150.jpg )

Spikey: "And it is this singing bass that I attached the horn to its forehead, so it can look all magical and shit."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WC6EbRQmJ0&ab_channel=scrybnnygrl

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/22(Fri)16:46 No. 141428 ID: dc13c4
File 170329236531.jpg - (138.50KB , 736x362 , BB 1151.jpg )

Spikey: "Now I am fairly sure that there is no electricity in that world and maybe they can figure it out by reverse engineering this toy. There is also a possibility that they might start a religion over this toy. But my intention was to just give somthing that can bring joy to the recipient. So if this present claims some lives or people start sacrificing things in its name, I just want to make sure that it wasn't folt and I never intended for this present to be used this way."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgUVXiQJ2tY&ab_channel=ROBBYDUDE

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/22(Fri)16:47 No. 141429 ID: dc13c4
File 170329245766.jpg - (115.43KB , 498x392 , BB 1152.jpg )

Spikey: "So my present is packed."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RFWTr2kBuI&ab_channel=Jesse%27sWorkshop

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/22(Fri)16:48 No. 141430 ID: dc13c4
File 170329251794.jpg - (115.08KB , 498x392 , BB 1153.jpg )

Spikey: "So what do you have in mind to give as a gift."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VveIve2pRBk&ab_channel=wehewenn

1/2 Autumn & Apricot 2023/12/22(Fri)21:51 No. 141434 ID: fb32ab
File 170331071675.png - (40.37KB , 496x500 , Santa2023 Agift1.png )

Apricot: Delivering gifts? Easy.

Autumn: Choosing gifts? Harder.

Apricot: Especially when our Secret Santa’s wish is to create the Ultimate Trash Mammal.

Autumn: Good thing we know a true trash expert. We had a little help on this one…

Dotti: At long last, my skills are appreciated!

Autumn & Apricot 2023/12/22(Fri)21:52 No. 141435 ID: fb32ab
File 170331072980.png - (78.55KB , 500x550 , Santa2023 Agift2.png )

Apricot: I didn’t look too close at our gift, but I have it on good authority that this is only the highest-quality trash.

Autumn: There’s a lot of composting going on in here, so that’s good. Very eco-friendly!

Apricot: I’ll just, uh, put it in the corner, away from the other gifts.

Merry Christmas, Ssus Ssus!

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/24(Sun)01:38 No. 141437 ID: dc13c4
File 170341070531.jpg - (207.84KB , 692x581 , BB 1154.jpg )

Anthony: "Okay, I'm getting them an "Eldritch Madness Management Kit" It will come along with a greeting card and this is what will be written on it."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxoyjyQldPM&ab_channel=9x

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/12/24(Sun)01:39 No. 141438 ID: dc13c4
File 170341077154.jpg - (184.84KB , 718x486 , BB 1155.jpg )

"Dear Mr and Mrs. Knott,

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas. I understand you've just moved into a new house, and that can be stressful. Dealing with otherworldly entities and madness can also be equally stressful, believe me, I would know. So I've put together a care package for you to help you cope. In the package you will find:
- A Cthulhu shaped stress ball, take out your aggression on it, it also makes a funny fart noise
- Eldritch Sanity Tea blend, a cup of this and you will feel amazingly relaxed, its packed with calming herbs and flavors
- A notebook made to look like an old grimoire, use it as a journal to help you remember things you might have forgotten
- A cookie-cutter set
- Some sage to burn and bring good energy into the house, every new house needs a cleansing after all!

I wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Be safe!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY9O-WbMxO0&ab_channel=MrEngland

Nacha's Gift Art by Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2023/12/24(Sun)09:34 No. 141440 ID: fb32ab
File 170343927997.png - (954.07KB , 1280x720 , Santa2023 Ngift1.png )

Nothing strengthens the bonds of friendship like blazing hearths, loving hearts and great gifts. No matter who the lucky lad or lady in your life, the Ohio Wrestling Organization has you covered!

T-shirts for summer, sweatshirts for winter. Stickers for school, coffee mugs for work. Manly boxers for manly men, pretty panties for pretty ladies. There’s even a replica Blazing Heart Nacha Mask for a limited time, order fast!

Call OWO or mail us a check or money order for all your gifting needs!

Nacha's Gift Art by Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2023/12/24(Sun)09:35 No. 141441 ID: fb32ab
File 170343931009.png - (669.07KB , 1280x720 , Santa2023 Ngift2.png )

But what if that super special secret santa in your life has no need for physical goods? What if they’re a Partition-Resident Autonomous Response and Intrusion Analyst?

Never fear! Mr. Harding, Owner of OWO, is pulling out the big guns just for this situation. He’s prepared for anything! The latest in hand-held gaming technology is the PLAY LAD and it’s the only device you can play OWO SUPER STARS with four AA batteries.

The PLAY LAD even has a link cable port for you to play with friends and would never be exploited as a security vulnerability. Have fun!

Batteries not included. Pray to Santa Maria you have enough stored up.

Nacha's Gift Art by Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2023/12/24(Sun)09:36 No. 141442 ID: fb32ab
File 170343936568.png - (1.83MB , 1440x1440 , Santa2023 Ngift3.png )

Even if you don’t have physical hands to enjoy the PLAY LAD with, I hope your awesome technology will still let you appreciate the opportunity to see Brett “The Threat” Winfield defend his title against The Wendigo and “Alleycat” Rose Harper! Maybe there’s even a secret unlockable character or two inside!

Am I one? I hope I am. Por favor, por favor, por favor…

Feliz Navidad, Eade!

Martah's gift Nalthar 2023/12/25(Mon)12:47 No. 141446 ID: 76615e
File 170353724480.jpg - (400.89KB , 1000x800 , graphite bug.jpg )

Martah: (Uh oh, the present is eating its basket, I'd better deliver this quick.)

"So since I heard you like drawing, I made you this bug. Just feed it carbon and it will extrude graphite sticks from its back! Just um, don't keep it in anything organic.

Martah's gift Nalthar 2023/12/25(Mon)12:48 No. 141447 ID: 76615e
File 170353732595.jpg - (483.93KB , 1000x800 , burned albums.jpg )

"Jormun went through his database and was able to find several intact albums. We don't have any plastic to make these 'CDs' so I used shells instead."

"We've got:
Clube de Fado
Paul Winter's Earthbeat
A Treasury of Gregorian Chants
Lezao
and Smash Mouth's Astro Lounge"

"Well, I hope you like them. Merry Christmas Gail."

Kaktus 2023/12/27(Wed)17:45 No. 141457 ID: 681cb5
File 170372790068.png - (93.75KB , 700x550 , 1.png )

Belle: “Happy holidays, Trisha!” the fox cheerfully exclaims. “We heard that you like wrestling, so we bought you a wrestling game for the console of the year, Nintendo 64!”
Chris: “Of course, we weren’t sure if you had a Nintendo…” the rabbit signals for his wife to show of the console in her hands, “So we bought the whole console as well!”
Belle: “So our gift to you, my wolf friend, is not only a Nintendo 64 console…” nodding the her hubby, she continues her speech as he bring forth the rest of the gifts, “But three amazing games for it as well!”

Kaktus 2023/12/27(Wed)17:45 No. 141458 ID: 681cb5
File 170372790862.png - (135.08KB , 700x550 , 2.png )

Belle: “We have Super Maowio 64…”
Chris: “A classic!”
Belle: “The Legend of Tunic; Ocarina of Nostalgia…”
Chris: “Wait, is Tunic the fox or the princess?”
Belle: “And finally the wrestling game WWF No Mercy!” Belle rubs her chin for a bit, “Though, I haven’t played it myself, but I’ve heard it’s good?”
Chris: “And a Tamagotchi!”
Belle: “…and a what?”
Chris: “Tamagotchi!”
Belle: “Just saying that made up word won’t really help, Sunflower.”
Chris: “It’s a virtual pet!” Chris places a small cyan thingamabob on the table next to all the cartridges, “And it was the gift of the year 97!” He pokes it and a picture of a rabbit flashes onto the screen, “Look at that cute little bunny and say that you wouldn’t love it.”
Belle: “Um… and a Tomogatho as well, I guess?” the fox coughs a bit awkwardly, “Hope you like your gift, Trisha!”
Chris: “Merry Hissmass!”

(1/10) Apples 2023/12/27(Wed)22:30 No. 141461 ID: 435f13
File 170374500028.png - (313.01KB , 1200x1200 , Secret Santa 1.png )

RHBDS: "Well, Scrimbalt, let's find out who's to be the lucky recipient of our largesse, shall we? Whoever it is has no idea they're about to get the best gift ever given in the history of gifts..."

(2/10) Apples 2023/12/27(Wed)22:30 No. 141462 ID: 435f13
File 170374501650.png - (712.89KB , 1200x1200 , Secret Santa 2.png )

RHBDS: "WHAT?? HER?? That phony? That usurper? Once again she mocks me with her inferior chest."

Scrimbalt: "I thought you made peace with that?"

RHBDS: "I was the temporary victim of an obvious enchantment. There's no denying this woman is a devious sorceress. How else did she bewitch the judges into selecting her obviously inferior chest as superior to my magnificent mammaries?"

Scrimbalt: "Why would she sign the picture 'nyah nyah' if she didn't know who her Secret Santa would be?"

(3/10) Apples 2023/12/27(Wed)22:30 No. 141463 ID: 435f13
File 170374502405.png - (400.43KB , 1200x1200 , Secret Santa 3.png )

RHBDS: "Oooh the nerve of that wabbit! Touting those diminutive double-Ds around as the 'Best Chest.' I ought to curse her ears to fall off!"

Scrimbalt: "I don't think that would be in the spirit of the season, mistress..."

(4/10) Apples 2023/12/27(Wed)22:30 No. 141464 ID: 435f13
File 170374503660.png - (342.11KB , 1200x1200 , Secret Santa 4.png )

RHBDS: "Hmm... But if I act ungracious now it will only draw attention to my shame. If I must play second fiddle, I can at least make my defeat less humiliating by losing to an opponent whose victory is actually believable..."

(5/10) Apples 2023/12/27(Wed)22:30 No. 141465 ID: 435f13
File 170374504328.png - (246.34KB , 1200x1200 , Secret Santa 4a.png )

And so...

(6/10) Apples 2023/12/27(Wed)22:30 No. 141466 ID: 435f13
File 170374505639.png - (354.62KB , 1200x1200 , Secret Santa 5.png )

Kaia: "'Dear Rival blah blah blah...' Don't tell me my Secret Santa sent me a cursed amulet!"

(7/10) Apples 2023/12/27(Wed)22:31 No. 141467 ID: 435f13
File 170374506491.png - (156.07KB , 1200x1200 , Secret Santa 5b.png )

Kaia: "Well, it has the MSI seal of approval on it. You can't get much more trustworthy than that. I guess it's probably safe..."

(8/10) Apples 2023/12/27(Wed)22:31 No. 141468 ID: 435f13
File 170374507143.png - (349.91KB , 1200x1200 , Secret Santa 6.png )

Kaia: "Ahh! Holy shit!"

(9/10) Apples 2023/12/27(Wed)22:31 No. 141469 ID: 435f13
File 170374507644.png - (156.13KB , 1200x1200 , Secret Santa 6a.png )

Zarin: "Check it out, I got some kind of weird ring!"

Kaia: "Zarin I don't think you should put that on—"

(10/10) Apples 2023/12/27(Wed)22:31 No. 141470 ID: 435f13
File 170374508272.png - (320.15KB , 1200x1200 , Secret Santa 7.png )

Happy Holidays, Kaia and Zarin!

1/3 Cross 2023/12/30(Sat)03:32 No. 141482 ID: 78048b
File 170393596456.png - (530.92KB , 1000x1000 , chrimbo2023leadin.png )

Oh ho ho! It's holiday season once again!

But for two soldiers on leave, things aren't so smooth sailing off the cuff.
In a distant ski lodge, the air is abuzz with gift-giving and merriment.
But for one individual... Ozone feels herself sinking into the couch, further and further. So much for holiday relaxation.

"You seem tense", observes the airy servicewoman, a mug of hot cocoa in her hands. "I've yet to think of a decent gift idea myself."

She clenches her fists.
"They're kids, Mnemo. They're living in some kinda messed up city where they're not even allowed to have things. I'm gonna make this one hell of a gift for those two."
Children. Back in their own world, there had only ever been one in particular that anyone could have known. Yet, the idea of youth spent on someone else's whims frustrated the woman to no end.

"In a way, we're much the same, are we not? We didn't even have childhoods, but we've been training to fight for our whole lives."
Ozone shakes her head.
"There's a difference, when we came outta the tubes, we were already adults. Kids shouldn't be working, they should be playing!"
The red soldier shrugs.
"While we can't change their circumstances, do you have any plans for the gift?"

Options flitted through her mind. Toys? Books? Maybe tools?
"Something practical. Something they can actually benefit from. Anything too flashy and it'll get confiscated."

Mnemosyne takes a sip.
"Snacks are an option."
When neither of them were bakers or confectionists?
"Not enough lasting impact. Do you really want to give them something that they'll only experience once in their lives?"
A poorly chosen gift may as well be an unusual form of torture.
"Then something to protect them in our stead."
A brief moment of silence.
Ozone perks up.
"I think I've got an idea."

2/3 Cross 2023/12/30(Sat)03:33 No. 141483 ID: 78048b
File 170393599849.png - (461.61KB , 1000x1000 , christmas2023middle.png )

A quick jaunt back to Site 70 to regroup and reassess.
In a dim room, a doctor nurses a headache and multiple taxation forms.
"Nanoweaver."

Two intruders aggravate her existing headache.
She doesn't even bother to turn to look at the others.
"What? What is it, I've got a lot of things to be worrying about now."
The doctor hasn't quite been the same since this years' summer hullabaloo. Rumors abound of crimes committed on foreign shores. It was a misunderstanding, she swears!
For now, she evades the gaze of the multidimensional lawkeepers.

"We're making gifts for two kids this year, doc. Got any resources to spare? I don't think heavy machinery or power tools is gonna fly with 'em."

Ozone prods at the doctor.
"Cmon... It's for a good cause and the smiles of two kids!"

Bah humbug.
"Ask again in a few hours."


This time, it's Mnemosyne chiming in.
"It is a simple materials request. And a bit of a glance or two after we draft the blueprints for a brief project. If you were to stand trial later, your goodwill would reflect positively on your character testimony from both of us."
The geneticist sighs.

"I... yeah, I've got some things left over from my activities this summer. You'd be doing me a favor by getting rid of it."
In the corner of the room, a supply box glitters.
"But you'll have to design it yourselves. I've got a lot of spare meat to deal with before the ITO (Interdimensional Taxation Office) catches up with me."

And thus, materials had been procured. Now it was the simple act of fashioning it into something useful.

3/3 Cross 2023/12/30(Sat)03:33 No. 141484 ID: 78048b
File 170393603212.png - (571.78KB , 1000x1000 , chrimbo2023gift.png )

Plans are made deep into the night.
Ozone emphasises a sense of minimalism.
Mnemosyne advocated for a comforting grasp.

And the good Doctor lent her expertise to putting it together.

After a brief period of engineering... it's complete.
Perhaps it was a blessed coincidence that their colours happened to be particularly festive.

A pair of scarves, engineered with materials and technology from beyond this world.
Thermo-reactive fibers that tighten or loosen based off of temperature, making it appropriate for any weather or circumstances.
Practically indestructible.
Covert, but charming.

Even if few people are there for the two, they'll have each other.

Kaktus 2024/01/01(Mon)15:57 No. 141493 ID: 681cb5
File 170415344402.png - (94.71KB , 700x550 , 3.png )

>>141437
Chris: “Note that an important items from the original body’s past may stun the creature for a second or two…” the rabbit reads out loud from the book, “Which is when you blast it away with a shotgun.”
Belle: “Mmm, these cookies came out great…” Belle takes a bite out of the gingerbread eldritch squid god, “And these cookie molds are adorable!”
Chris: “Oh? To break a seal made in an image of creature beyond our world, simply chant its true name out loud? Really?”
Belle: “The tea though, it’s a bit bitter…” the fox takes another sip, “But really relaxing…”
Chris: “Ha! Listen to this!” Chris cheerfully exclaims, “The rituals contacting a higher being is so exact, that even the smallest stain from either oil or fat may have devastating ramifications!”
Belle: “You’d think an eldritch god wouldn’t really care about a bit of oil.” She swallows loudly before continuing, “Nah, that book is clearly just being silly.”
Chris: “Still, it’s a fun read.”
Belle: “Mmm, you’re right about that…”


Belle: “Thank you, Anthony, for your wonderful gift!”
Chris: “How did you even know we both love eldritch horror?”
Belle: “Though you might have confused us with someone else. While we are looking for a bigger home, we’ve yet moved anywhere.”
Chris: “I’ve heard rumors that some far off relative of mine died earlier this year who had a nice house. An Edward I believe? Though with my luck, Cousin Karl back in the old country will get to inherit it.”
Belle: “Though first we need to make you a proper Mr. Knott, Sunflower.”
Chris: “Well, we just need to wait until April for that, Bluebell.”
Belle: “But thank you so much for the gifts and merry Hissmass!”
Chris: “And a happy new year! I’m sure 98 is going to be a great year!”

(0/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:21 No. 141495 ID: 809e5e
File 170422326105.png - (941.79KB , 750x750 , QDSS-Dangit.png )

Hoodwinked, flummoxed, japed: your apparent rival in the contest of bountiful bosoms has tricked you with a cursed amulet and a burdensome bust! Fortunately, the Bramble Grimoire has just the sort of incantations, rites and hexes by which you can remedy your predicament and serve comeuppance to this top-heavy holiday hoodlum. Just turn to page... Oh. Oh dear. This may be a problem.

Fortunately for you (and your yuletide assignment) you'd preemptively handled your own gift-gathering prior to your arrival -- a tale which goes something like this...

(1/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:37 No. 141498 ID: 809e5e
File 170422427150.png - (506.20KB , 750x450 , SantaPunk01.png )

https://youtu.be/Pt9XEDTNTsk

It is NINETEEN NINETY NINE, and now is a time of dire productivity and capitalism; the CEO, BRAD BUCKMEISTER, has taken a loss on the stock market at the apex of his fiscal quarter -- leaving projected revenue in tatters. Destined to dwell in the shadow of holiday sales quotas, servants of wages toil tirelessly to meet the bottom line.

(2/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:38 No. 141499 ID: 809e5e
File 170422429831.png - (580.10KB , 750x450 , SantaPunk02.png )

You are CRYSTAL CRUMPOWSKY, a bored and office-dwelling programmer and pup working late into the evening as $HOLIDAY approaches. You technically have a view from your workspace over the smog-choked skyline of a forest of cyclopean skyscrapers, but most of what you see from the day to day is a broad sea of cubicles occupied by gormless, work-worn coworkers.

(3/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:38 No. 141500 ID: 809e5e
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You are in the midst of working on the latest title in QUEST TECH's catalogue of interactive adventure games -- a fantasy epic starring a rabbit woman with very large breasts and a dubious NSFW rating which limits its target audience who might otherwise enjoy the perilous saga that unfolds. As you contemplate the prospect of a hellish office culture future in which employees are 'linked in' an inescapable miasma of social networking, a bulky parcel is delivered to your cubicle by a COURIER.

(4/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:39 No. 141501 ID: 809e5e
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Eager for any distraction from the doldrums of a rabbit tittering and teetering through hijinks, you open the package and within discover an impressive piece of technology: a CELLULAR PHONE. Promptly, it begins ringing in a irritating fashion, so you fumble with the soft mushy plastic buttons until managing to answer the call. "Crystal Crumpsy, we don't have much time." A mysterious voice informs you from the other end. "We need to get you out of there so that we can participate in a Clandestine Santa operation before THEY get you."

You're rather confused by all this, so you try tilting your head at a forty-five degree angle to see if it makes more sense. This barely improves your clarity. "If you don't hurry, SUGGESTORS will make your decisions for you. You need to get up from your cubicle and FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT." They hang up. With a shrug, you rise and follow the WHITE RABBIT emergency exit plan on the wall, trundling down thirty-seven flights of stairs.

(5/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:39 No. 141502 ID: 809e5e
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After a scene transition, you see a LEATHER-WEARING RABBIT WITH COOL SUNGLASSES. "Hallo C.C." She greets you. "There are two peels, a RED and a BLOO, and yew have to peek to decide if yew will stay here or go on with thee thread." You think she sounds a little like Björk. Amazingly, two pills materialize and float in mid-air like something out of one of your VIDEO GAMES you work on all the time.

(6/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:40 No. 141503 ID: 809e5e
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You have no idea what she means by a RED and BLUE pill however. Both look vaguely the same to you, so you are uncertain which to pick. "Yew have to hurry, we are on a tight sked jool." She says to you, exasperated.

(7/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:41 No. 141505 ID: 809e5e
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Seeing your Bored Neutral Expression as you stare at the pills, the WHITE RABBIT helps you pick the correct pill by cleverly wrapping it in some DELICIOUS HOLIDAY HAM. Promptly, you eat the pill. EXCITING TECHNO CLUB MUSIC begins to play wildly.

https://youtu.be/OwGuSPXPyX4

(8/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:41 No. 141506 ID: 809e5e
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You participate in an incredibly exciting action sequence with a variety of guns and hand to hand fighting which, regrettably, we lack the budget to portray. It does culminate in being able to fulminate your cubicle farm, however -- an EXPLOSION rocking the downtown area as you make a daring escape. Afterwards, you are REMOVED FROM THE THREAD by a crew of colorful characters who explain the plot of THE MATRIX to you.

(9/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:42 No. 141507 ID: 809e5e
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Together, you traverse another thread in a HIGH TECH VEHICLE while being pursued by TERRIBLE SQUID ROBOTS intent on preventing you from doing your holiday shopping. Despite their best efforts to waylay you, you and your new friends are able to acquire and craft a variety of gifts to be delivered less than a week after $HOLIDAY!

(10/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:42 No. 141508 ID: 809e5e
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You are ZERO, and you have received a $HOLIDAY gift box! It is poorly wrapped and misshapen, but the gift-givers seem to have meant well at least and appear to have been through a lot to get here. Inside the lumpy box, you find a variety of objects as your PRESENTS.

First, is a KUNG FU cartridge for an old VIDEO GAME console. Inside THE MATRIX, C.C. was able to learn a wide variety martial arts with this cartridge, so your gift-givers hope that you may also be able to download remarkable fighting prowess similarly.

Second, is a $50 GIFT CARD to SPENCER GIFTS. a quirky retailer specializing in a variety of strange relics, artifacts, magic items and dubiously adult-themed party favors and games. A GIFT CARD is an excellent way to err on the tastes of your gift recipient and in no way implies reckless haste in providing a present.

Third, are a pair of festive 'ear' warmers which are, remarkably, appropriately sized to adorn yourself with. As these are not a retail-available article, it becomes clear that KAIA and ZARIN actually knit them together. Perplexingly, this presents a paradox when compared to the GIFT CARD, for gift-giving preparedness.

Finally, the entirety of the bottom of the gift box is filled with a collection of EXQUISITE BRANCHES pup-picked by C.C. herself with a high degree of confidence that you will find them to be both tasteful home decor and useful equipment for any manner of predicament or situation.

Happy Holidays, Zero!

Gail and Tina 2024/01/04(Thu)00:37 No. 141510 ID: a7a180
File 170435745307.png - (183.08KB , 800x800 , gift_gab.png )

Tineola: “What a nice lodge they’ve rented this year!”
Gail: “Oh, very! The fireplace keeps it nice and toasty, which is good because I’m pretty lukewarm-blooded myself.”
“I can barely keep myself from staring at it… but then my eye keeps getting drawn to that dragon lady made of plush fabric instead. She looks so soft and huggable!”
“I bet those two interests would go well together. So, what are you making?”
“Oh, I’m still working on my secret santa gift. …You know, it occurs to me, we’re scarcely present in our respective quests! We should have prepared some sort of introduction for ourselves so our partners would know what we like.”
“Oh, ssshoot… That would have been a good idea, wouldn’t it? Well, I’m a student in college studying archaeology. I grew up on our planet’s moon before I moved planetside for college, and I like all the arcology kid classics: books, astronomy, plastic models... Not that I’d ask for those, they can get quite expensive! What about you, Tineola?”
“I guess we both have our guilty pleasures… Oh, I’m a traveling tailor and part time adventurer, both of which go into feeding my bad habit of nibbling exotic fabrics. I’d prefer anything but clothes, please - I’d feel terrible after chewing holes in a gift. (Well, unless it was meant to be chewed on… thanks again, Eudora!)”
“Interesting. Well, I’ve got to go - I see someone waving at me over by the couch, I think my gift’s already here! Good luck, Tina!”

Sarcopholacooda 2024/01/04(Thu)19:58 No. 141511 ID: 11f77a
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Ortessus: Nacha Cone-Joe? Sounds like a notor-xingastian space trucker. But I’ve done my research and meticulously worked on my secret gift throughout the better half of the season.

Ortessus: Call it a hobby of mine--but I offer a most tempting gift.

Ortessus: You have a button.

Ortessus: You may choose to press the button at your leisure. You can only press it once--for it is one-use only. Multiple presses in succession grant nothing greater.

Ortessus: But prepare for the consequences that follow--for it would be fabricated by your hand, and mine will remain clean. I only supply the tools as a clerk would innocently sell a hammer.

Ortessus: It’s up to you now. I’ll be a comfortable distance away and enjoy my time on the balcony sipping a nice cold mug of root beer.

1/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:49 No. 141513 ID: f6204d
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Dansha: “Me.. Mne-mo-syn…. And O-zone. Yeah, those names are definitely out there.”

Peachy: “Keep reading!”

Dansha: “Right. Uuhh.. Mne-mo-syn is… a soldier created artificially to fight a grand war, now concluded. She was created out of the essence and memories of ancient heroes… What?”

Dansha: “Uhhm, she is highly professional and reserved, but loves sports when not on duty. She also has…. Wind powers? Says here she can control wind currents to create big gusts of wind that she uses to throw off her enemies and… *snrk* make her weapons float in the air and shoot without having to hold them. Pfft! And she likes both ranged and melee combat.”

Peachy: “What’s melee again?”

Spots: “The opposite of ranged.”

Dansha: “Mano a mano, yeah.”

Peachy: “Uuuh...Hey, what about Oz-on?”

Dansha: “O-zone is… also a soldier made for the war. Uhm.. from different heroes than Mne-mo-syn. She’s also pretty professional, as well as abrasive, but she likes her fellow superior officers and is good friends with them.”

Spots: “Sounds kind of like the sticklers here.”
Dansha: “Mmhm. Anyway, she prefers subterfuge and uses lots of traps and contraptions and… ‘big guns’, whatever that might be…. Oh! Says here, it’s weapons that shoot metal pellets with gunpowder!”

Peachy: “Oh, yeah! Gunpowder!”

Spots: “For clearing tunnels, right?”

Dansha: “For clearing tunnels, yeah…. O-zone also uses other guns, of different kinds. From ones that spew poison gas to.. flamethrowers?!”

Peachy: “No way!”

Spots: “That sounds awesome! You sure we can’t just invite her over?”

2/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:52 No. 141514 ID: f6204d
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Dansha: “Okay, seriously; just who came up with this stuff? And who made these portraits? Did Prielos put you up to this?”

Peachy: “Nah, your neighbor doesn’t draw that good.”

Spots: “He is not dumb enough to cross someone who lives next door to him again, either.”

Dansha: “Then who made this?!”

Peachy: “I told you, it was given to me in the magic mushroom cave!”

Dansha: “You mean the one with the fluorescent toadstools? In those dingy tunnels you always visit?”

Peachy: “Yeah, those!”

Dansha: “And there is someone there coming up with these characters and showing them to people?”

Peachy: “No! It was the mighty mystic mushroom! He came to me in a vision and invited me to take part in a grand gift swap, where one gives gifts to someone secret and receives gifts from someone else in turn. When I woke up from the vison, this letter was next to me.”

Dansha: “…..Peachy, I told you not to eat the toadstools again.”

Peachy: ”Hey, I’m perfectly fine AND I got a gift invitation!”

Dansha: “And you; why are you going through with this? You can’t possibly believe her!”

Spots: “I mean, I… kinda do? Somebody wrote that letter and I don’t think I would be able to convince Peachy not to go along with it if I tried.”

Peachy: “No, you wouldn’t!“

Spots: “Besides, she really insists she got this from someone mystic and that she’s done this before, and she’s never pranked me before.”

Peachy: “No, I haven’t!”

Spots: I’ll send you flying out of the mountain if you ever do, though.”

Peachy: “No, you won’t!”

Dansha: “You guys are duller than the whole rockface, you know that?”

Peachy: “Sure, whatever you say… Hey, does the letter say anything else about these two?”

Dansha: “Hmm… not much, just that they are living on a military base- Sorry, a secret military base- doing routine drills and training the last new soldiers, and that one is a problem girl that gives them headaches. Can relate.”

3/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:53 No. 141515 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: Okay, thanks Dansha! We’ll let you know when we are done!”

Dansha: “Hey, wait! Don’t you dare come call me in the middle of my lessons to write you a reply!”

Peachy: “No promises!”

Spots: “Tee hee, this is gonna be fun! Do you have any ideas where we can get something for a gift?”

Peachy: “I know just the place!”

4/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:55 No. 141516 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “Here we are. Anybody’s trash is a lanky’s treasure, after all.”

Spots: “You sure it’s okay for us to take stuff from here?”

Peachy: “Uh, sure! They already expanded this cave ages ago and they are mostly done with the new buildings. Most of this stuff got brought just in case, anyways.”

Spots: “Well, if you say so..”

Peachy: “Come on, let’s start with that bomb crate over there. We can dash with the other stuff if we see someone coming later.”

5/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:56 No. 141517 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “Hey, there, O-zone! I heard you like carrying big guns and all sorts of crafty doohickeys, so I made a big crafty cannon, like the ones folks talk about when telling tales from abroad, just for you!”

“Its ammunition is made of broken tools and training spears that’ve been thrown away and picked up over time. Many of them are kinda dulled, but they’ll probably hurt a lot when you shoot them at your enemies!”

Spots: “I helped make the cannon!”

Peachy: “Oh, yeah. Spots helped me lay down the brick work for your cannon. She’s learning how to work in construction and is really good at putting blocks and concrete together!”

Spots: “Mmhm!”

Peachy: “We even got some bombs and took out the gunpowder so you can try it out without having to use your own!”

Spots: “Getting it out of the bombs was a pain, but hopefully three whole bags of it is enough for a good load of shots!”

6/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:57 No. 141518 ID: f6204d
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Spots: “For Mne-mosyne, I got a big carrying bag and attached one of our best blankets to it, so not only can you carry your weapons in it, but you can use your powers to fill up the blanket with air like a tarpaulin and ride the wind!

Peachy: “Ride the wind! Woo!”

Spots: “Peachy helped me put it together too, so don’t forget to thank her for that.”

Peachy: “I learned to sew!”

7/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)22:00 No. 141519 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “And to top it all off, we also prepared some holiday sweetened bread, so you can fill up your belly or share it with your friends.”

Spots: “They’re mixed with sugar and cinnamon! We only get to make them on special occasions!”

8/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)22:02 No. 141520 ID: f6204d
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Dansha: “That’s a nice chimney you two made, but you better be ready to tear it down before a stickler asks what you are trying to build.”

Peachy: “Don’t worry, our giftees will take it away before anyone comes snooping. Come on, Spots; help me put it there in the center. It’s gotta be inside the mushroom circle.”

Spots: “Here is fine?”

Peachy: “Perfect! Did you bring the bread?”

Spots: “I put it inside the bagpack.”

Peachy: “Great! Now we just have to wait.”

Dansha: “Look, I agreed to write you a response and come along because I want to know who you are giving all this junk to and I don’t want you to get hurt, but if it involves standing around some mushrooms for who-knows-how-long like idiots, I’m gonna go back home and this mess is gonna be on your heads.”

10/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)22:05 No. 141522 ID: f6204d
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Ozone: “Oh, good. The lodge’s summoning room does work after all. It’s interesting to witness more esoteric ways to connect with the grander multiverse. Now let’s see what our friends abroad sent u- wait, what is-?”


Merry belated Christmas and New Year, Ozone, Mnemosyne and Crosstheline, and a very Happy Three Kings Day!

1/3 Ssus Ssus 2024/01/05(Fri)22:06 No. 141523 ID: f6204d
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“Ah! A shape-shifting, hyper-active manifestation of Chaos. Most interesting! This brings quite the insightful glimpse into extraplanar denizens. Signing up into this interdimensional holiday gift trade was a fantastic idea, if I say so myself.”

“The only caveat might be that pleasing such an effusive and fickle specimen would likely not be an easy feat.”

2/3 Ssus Ssus 2024/01/05(Fri)22:08 No. 141525 ID: f6204d
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“Luckily, I have just the thing!”

3/3 Ssus Ssus 2024/01/05(Fri)22:09 No. 141526 ID: f6204d
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Dear Gurial Gamel Soul,

Pleased to make your acquaintance! My name is Ssus Ssus. Budding salikai scientist and your assigned Secret Santa.

I notice on your info sheet that you loved both pranks and money. A very relatable taste, I’m quite certain. So much so that I decided to bring a gift that caters to both, in the form of a zeny nano-replicant gun.

This device was designed and employed by a powerful group of counterfeiters, in order to both perfect their trade and create a deadly weapon to defend themselves against authorities. Unfortunately for them, they only managed to create a single working prototype before their operation went awry and I managed to procure it from among the evidence piled up outside their main base.

Each shot fires a set of self-replicating nano-machines that turn everything in a twelve inch radius of the hit area into seamless, randomly-serialized coins worth one zeny each, which is the main official currency employed all across known space within the Milky Way Galaxy.

It’s perfect for both breaking your buddies’ painstakingly-made house of cards and start a get-rich-quick scheme in the process. Just please, don’t point it towards any person or creature, living or dead. That would be extremely irresponsible and potentially horrifying.

I wish you some very merry festivities and some cheeky, yet ultimately harmless, adventures to come!

Happy holidays, Gurial.


And a very Merry Three Kings Day to you, Derklord. I hope you are having some truly splendid holidays!

Nalthar 2024/01/06(Sat)16:43 No. 141527 ID: 76615e
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Martah: "Oh wow, its a fish... with a horn... and full of cogs? How bizzare, oh wait! This must be one of those fetish things, like the kind summoners use. Now how do you activate it?"

https://youtu.be/-ozbX-yM8ao?si=p0pneRAk5QiQ567c

Martah: "ACK!"
"oh, I see."
"What a fun thing! Thanks Spikey"

Trisha's Gift Trisha 2024/01/06(Sat)21:36 No. 141530 ID: 0d1c28
File 170460578172.png - (1.71MB , 774x1100 , Trisha18.png )

Trisha: "Oh wow Jack! are you a robot! that's super cool! I know what every robot would want! A super cool toy of their lord and savior!"

1/5 Ssus Ssus 2024/01/15(Mon)17:37 No. 141546 ID: f6204d
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Dear Misses Autumn and Apricot,

I am deeply obliged by your heartfelt holiday gift. I can scarcely believe the interest and effort you put into my project!

I found your trash to be of the highest quality, and has already contributed greatly to my research.

I’m happy to say that with it, I have been able to formulate and fully develop my first batch of autonomous, multi-cellular trash fauna!

These “dumplings”, as I have designated them, are able to feed off of base refuse and common garbage, and have the potential to self-replicate through budding upon reaching their mature stage, making them the ideal bottom-feeders to form the basis for the next stage of my ecosystem. A sad role to be sure, given their docility and sociable behaviour, but a real ecosystem cannot exist without a fully-fledged food chain.

Thank you both once again for this wonderful present and for your passionate commitment to my work.

May all your endeavours come to fruition and are just as lovingly supported!

Happy Holidays,

Ssus Ssus.


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Donut, thank you so much for this and your many other gifts throughout the year!

2/5 Peachy 2024/01/15(Mon)17:40 No. 141547 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “Wow! Look how the colors match!”

Spots: “And it really does stay warm! I wonder how they do it.”

Peachy: “Craftmanship? Magic? No, wait. Magi-craftmanship!”

Spots: “And it’s so soft! Amazing how something so strong can be so soft!”

Peachy: “Thanks a lot, Ozone and Mne-mo-syne! These scarfs are really out of this world!”

3/5 Peachy 2024/01/15(Mon)17:42 No. 141550 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “And, uh, thank you for sending a message in this voice-machine and a drawing on how to use it. We wouldn’t have known the scarfs were special if you had sent a letter. Our official letter-reader is..uh..busy.”

4/5 Peachy 2024/01/15(Mon)17:43 No. 141551 ID: f6204d
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Dansha: “We did magic. We just did a magic! They are going to come here! They are going to punish us! They are going to hang us! I’m gonna get hanged! I’m gonna get hanged and the finals are next week!”

Spots: “Relax, Dansha, we can clean up!”

Peachy: “I’m… sure a ride home on the sled will make her feel better.”

5/5 Peachy 2024/01/15(Mon)17:44 No. 141552 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “And, not to be a jerk, but the little blobby flesh creature you also gave us is kinda creepy.”

Spots: “It doesn’t get mentioned anywhere in your message, either.”

Peachy: “We’ll probably have to leave it here on the mushroom patch. Alien blobbys like toadstools, right?”

Green Sci-Fi Scarf get!

Red Sci-fi Scarf get!

Nanoweaver’s Meat Crime get!


Thank you, Cross-the-Line, Joyous Holidays and Happy New Year!

Trisha 2024/01/23(Tue)18:01 No. 141584 ID: 0d1c28
File 170606171960.png - (1.49MB , 774x1100 , Trisha19.png )

>>141457

Trisha: "WOW! Best. Gift Ever. I've never played a future game before"

* * *

some time later...

Trisha: "The 3D is so real... I feel like it's gonna reach out and grab me..."

1/5 Gurier 2024/04/08(Mon)13:41 No. 142001 ID: 3f89df
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I spotted a group of travelers lucky enough to receive my blessing!

I ran up to them, making sure to put on my nicest grin: “Why hello there, average pale ape and retired big bosomed ginormous mommy procreation robot lizard! I am Gurier! And I’m so delighted to give you my gift!”

I see the giant dragon mommy procreation lizard, and the very dull, boring human
Eye each other nervously, the mommy speaks up first, “So.. who’s going to tell him….”

2/5 Gurier 2024/04/08(Mon)13:41 No. 142002 ID: 3f89df
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The human continues, “Well… not me, I’m bad with weird chaotic robot things.”
The lizard sighs and then turns her attention to me. “Sweetie, it’s a “Secret Santa” gift. You're not supposed to… you know, tell us who your gift’s for?”
Oh, but that just makes it so much fun!
“I knew that! I thought it best to present you with your gift!” The male eyes the lizard with a confused look, which responds with a casual shrug; he continues, “That being….”

3/5 Gurier 2024/04/08(Mon)13:41 No. 142003 ID: 3f89df
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I conjure a little blue present bow through my cherry and place it on my special lever. “Why a chance to use my magic, of course! It’s entirely random, so who knows what it’s going to be!”
The human seems to reach for me, but the lizard grabs his hand

4/5 Gurier 2024/04/08(Mon)13:41 No. 142004 ID: 3f89df
File 171260891213.png - (13.47KB , 500x500 , blah.png )

“Why are you so quick to trust this weird magic, gremlin robot thing? For all I know this thing could be from my competitor Feena’s Funa Brothel, and I know that Feena has always held a grudge over the popularity of our bots brothel, besides Mike…. Who knows where that lever has been….. I shiver just thinking about it.”
Mike looks appropriately defensive, which serves him right from getting cock-blocked from life’s greatest pleasure, or is the term just blocked? Either way, Mike’s talking now!
“Why are you so curious about this little guy? I mean, true he might also be a murder-loving sex robot, but I’m sure it’ll be fine! Booty had probably killed me more times than this little scamp ever could.”
“What.”
“Oh right, huh. I guess I never told you about that, anyway whose to say where or where that lever’s been, who knows maybe It would….. Enjoy it……”
“Okay, but before you pull that thing, maybe describe what it does? Or what might happen?”
“Okay, okay…” I see Mike get down to my level, talking to me in what seems to be some kind of baby talk. “Hey, little guy, may you ask us what will happen if we pull that lever?”
“Oh, well…. I can’t say exactly what you know, my magic being completely random, but I assure you it’s something completely great and will not backfire!”

5/5 Gurier 2024/04/08(Mon)13:42 No. 142005 ID: 3f89df
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“However, if it does backfire..I won’t be responsible for you…. Suddenly losing your clothes and getting all naked, you being set on fire, your insides becoming outsides, nothing happens, I explode, you get transformed into a marketable plushie, you get sprayed with water, you getting someone else's gift instead, you and Boudica switching bodies or voices, you switching sex, the rapture beginning, your forced to 100% Fear and Hunger, and Fear and Hunger Termina, I end up transforming into an evil sex robot, I learn of all of your sins, and all of your mistakes, Your form getting shifted in some sort of way, You transform into money, I kill Santa, and much, much more!”

Those two seem to be gazing dumbfounded obviously basking in the beauty of what can happen when I backfire.
“But... it’s most likely just going to do something lame and really boring, like give you what you wish most, drop you in a fantasy dimension where you can live out your greatest fantasies, or give you a puppy. I hate the puppy choice.”
Mike expectantly looks at Boudica, who looks to me, and after a while, sighs, “Fine…” Mike makes a joyous human noise while Boudica and her large mounds approach me. “But NO funny businesses out of you, okay?” I look at her and sense a warmth in my heart that I’ve never felt before. “Yes, mommy.” She immediately recoils back and begins to clench her fist, but she looks at Mike and lowers her aggressive demeanor.

Meanwhile, I see Mike as Happy as he can be reaching towards my lever…

(Happy Late Christmas Tippler! Sorry for the bad art quality, and potential character assassination's!)

1/3 Derklord's Perfonification of Her Nightmare as an appearance of an la 2024/04/08(Mon)13:47 No. 142006 ID: 3f89df
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Whew, Glad to be out of Derklord’s mind after a while; now, let’s see who's on my list…. hm……
Well, what do you give a bird and a fairy? Something funny, but what…..
Well, I could go into their minds and learn every little aspect about them, and I would also know what places they appear in Lazy Fairy except for POV 7, but nah, let’s do it old school.

For the bird, I’ll include a cat; how about a small little kitty cat with an orange bell, whose coat is a mixture of a tiger with a light brown coat and some brown eyes? She’ll be playful, but she’ll hold an obnoxious truth. She’ll meow in the middle of the night at 11:00 a.m. mwyahahahahahaahhah.

For the Fairy, I’ll give her a sword, not just any sword, but a sword that A fairy can use. It might not be practical, but hey, it’ll work. This also holds a secret, and those who hold this sword summon a more petite fairy by their side that’s the embodiment of RPG Fairy tropes, mwhahahahahahaha

I love being a personification of fear, especially when no one will ever know it’s me. I can be mildly disruptive and laugh evilly without being called an old-time trope! Mwhahahahahahahahha!

Okay, that’s enough laughing. Hmm…. Something’s missing. Oh, I know something perfect! It's a book complete with every single NSFW image Of Autumn that Donut has created hahahahaahhahaahahaha

Okay, much better! Now, all it needs is a note! Oooh, I thought of something perfect.
“Hohohoho Merry Christmas, Autumn and Apirocot. I hope these gifts will add delightful cheer to your Christmas. I’ve been viewing you and your friends' adventures, and I’m grateful to inform you that, with your due diligence in helping people in the guild, you were on the nice list this term.

With your gifts, I also included a book You think you’ll like; it’s why you're on the nice list. Your soul isn’t the only thing that’s “nice,” Apricot, hohohohoh I must say those curves don’t lie, you're not so naughty yourself, Autumn hohohhohoh

If you're looking for a good time with you two, call me at my number: 951-262-3062

Signed: Santa.”

2/3 Derklord's Perfonification of Her Nightmare as an appearance of an la 2024/04/08(Mon)13:47 No. 142007 ID: 3f89df
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Perfect. Now, just tie it all together, make sure there are breathing holes for the cat, put on the bow, put it under the tree stealthily, make sure they don’t see it’s me,

3/3 Derklord's Perfonification of Her Nightmare as an appearance of an la 2024/04/08(Mon)13:47 No. 142008 ID: 3f89df
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find a stealthy spot, and wait to see their reaction. This is going to be great.

Happy Belated Christmas Donut! (Sorry for the bad art), And sorry that Autumn and Apricot got paired with the one character that wants to ruin their Christmas

tippler 2024/04/09(Tue)18:12 No. 142012 ID: 9ea24b
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>>142005
Mike, having experienced many unhappy ends, is confident in his ability to survive an unlucky fate. He pulls Gurier's magic lever.

tippler 2024/04/09(Tue)18:14 No. 142013 ID: 9ea24b
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tippler immediately decides tragedy should strike and Mike is transformed into a rooster. Roosters are intelligent creatures who feel pain, but sadly do not have the capacity to maintain a human personality. Mike has essentially perished.

tippler 2024/04/09(Tue)18:15 No. 142014 ID: 9ea24b
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The relief is so great that Boudica becomes Catholic. It is a merry Christmas indeed.

Gail 2024/06/23(Sun)21:24 No. 142356 ID: a7a180
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Hello, Mr. Spikey! I hope interstellar shipping delivers this in time... I’ve brought you a gift from my hometown: A genuine moon rock! There’s nothing quite like resting your head on a nice toasty heat rock that’s been under the heat lamp. It’s pretty easy to get these when you live on the moon, but not everybody makes the journey all the way out there, so that’s what makes it special!
…Oh, and I’ve included some freeze dried ice cream too. Just in case you’re not as into rocks as I am.
Merry (belated) Christmas!
-Gail

Tineola 2024/06/23(Sun)21:26 No. 142358 ID: a7a180
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Hello, miss… Ridiculously huge… Hello miss Dragon Sorceress!
After, eheh, a very intense gift selection process, I have found a treasure from my personal collection that I believe will be quite fitting for yours! This gem is called the Dragon’s Heart. Supposedly it’s made of an actual dragon’s heart that petrified, according to the cursed item seller I got it from. Anyway, when you have this gem, hoarding stuff makes you bigger and stronger! …Being poor does the opposite. It also makes spellcasters prone to spontaneous spellcasting, not that I’d have any personal experience with that. But hey, you’re just spending magical power the heart gave you, so not much of a downside, right? Live large and prosper, miss RHBDS! Happy holidays!
You received: the Dragon Heart! (Magic item, very rare, slightly drippy, requires attunement.)

Yamelle 2024/07/25(Thu)15:00 No. 142503 ID: 92a30c
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That was an exciting holiday retreat, wasn’t it? It seems I overstayed well into the summer! But I’m here to compensate any last-minute gifts that never arrived for the giftees.

It happens, doesn’t it Dama? And that’s okay, we’ve got everyone covered.

Yamelle 2024/07/25(Thu)15:01 No. 142504 ID: 92a30c
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For the gentle moth, Tineola. It was fun having you in the village last year! You were quite popular with the outfitters and couturiers too. You were all they ever talked about!

I’ve been cleaning my attic, digging around Vikta’s stuff during his weird phase where he’d engage in online writing games with his virtual friends. Seems he had ordered a 5-Piece Lamp Set of some character. So here! With it includes: Left Arm of The Rogue One, Right Arm of The Rogue One, Left Leg of The Rogue One, Right Leg of The Rogue One, and Mac the Rogue One.

Don’t worry about keeping it! Vikta always denies ever owning this.

Yamelle 2024/07/25(Thu)15:02 No. 142505 ID: 92a30c
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Ortessus! You look so bulky in your suit. Don’t you have anything else to wear during your R&R? It’s still good to see you!

I believe we have some fireworks left from one of our earlier holidays. It was raining that day so we couldn’t use them effectively. But I’m sure you’d find a use out of them!

Although I could use them for the next year... Naaaah you can have them! ♥

Yamelle 2024/07/25(Thu)15:03 No. 142506 ID: 92a30c
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Anthony the Artist, eh? You know, I’m something of an artist myself!

Anyhoo! Because my husband draws in many customers around the world, plenty small family businesses sell trinkets through his gift shop. I found this cute set of Precious Moments Figurines on display and I bought a 12-piece set!

Awe look, that one is peeling potatoes! How precious indeed~

And I think that covers everyone! I hope to see you all back next year!