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Blue Evening Berry
094652
Azure and Hore are sitting at the campfire, talking things over. Azure occasionally moves over to Hore and tries to dress her hair.
H:"So... how bad was Bloodmist for you?"
A:"Well, I got split up from Pog and killed like half an hour in, and something happened to Pog but he won't tell me what."
H:"He's been staring at us for fifteen minutes without asking about the size of his head. Is he okay?"
A:"I don't know. He's still there, he still knows who we are and what to do, but it's like his speech has been replaced with a little extra intelligence. I'm worried something else might be driving his body."
H:"I'll see what I can do, but I'm not a brain healer."
A:"Okay, as long as you can still do something. But on the plus side, I feel... different! Like there was this fog from all the sex and vapors, keeping me from being smart, and the trek through the labyrinth somehow cleared some of the fog and I can do song magic again!"
Azure casts Resistance on Hore to show she's back and barding.
H:"Well, look at you! All leveled up and raring to go onstage! Still planning on researching that 'Eagle' we mentioned?"
A:"Not for a while. Haha, don't worry Hore, when it's ready, I'll share! Haha, yeah... when it's... ready... Anyways, then I met with Rhea here, and she just started a quest for her mother so she could learn cuisine, and I followed her out but we got arrested in Passholdt for accidentally setting a factory on fire, and then they found out about the Pontypridd incident..."
H: "So you songstressed them into letting-"
A: "Hore, there was a dragon in the courtroom. I only got two minutes before they cast something to compulse me to talk about Pog."
H: "I... Azure, I've heard that being convicted does more to a celebrity career than actual imprisonment. Are you sure-"
A: "Relax, I got something similar to community service. Some prisoner-of-war thing. So like jail, but I was technically a war criminal? I don't know, they just wanted more excuses to continue their stupid civil war with some underground gureilla troopers."
H: "So I'm guessing you couldn't bribe the guards because without Pog to threaten them, they'd just snatch any money you took out of your bags. Did your dad buy you out of jail?"
A:"No, that's when the weird happened. One moment I was talking to this nice couple who were house-arrested for some political border nonsense, and the next I found myself with this... enthusiastic... demon guy, Nistamatsin, and he's the one who used divine magic, some kind of pseudo-time-travel, and crazy-powerful luck to get me and Pog to safety!"
H:"Cool. And slightly concerning. How'd he do that?"
A:"You know how I told you about that one time those commoners were gambling with a Deck of Many Cards-"
H:"-and one of them drew a Reaper and his family tried so save him and then the Reaper multiplied?"
A:"Like that but with really good luck. And some unambitious choices from what I heard."
H:"So you're sticking to him because he's like twenty more poker matches away from a jackpot, right?"
A:"Actually, we're cleaning up a hospital for an angel!"
H:"... You've been stuck in an endless flame war haven't-"
A:"Worse, Hore. Worse."
H:"... Well, I'm here now. You know, to help you get this nightmare over with. And-"
Azure is strangely quiet for a while. So is Hore.
H:"Azure, I... I signed up for a contract with the Fire Hawks. A permanent one. But, you know, when your volunteer job is over, you can stick with us. We-"
A:"Listen, Hore."
Hore is slightly unnerved at Azure's sudden change in tone, but Azure loosens somberly, and takes a deep breath.
A:"... I'm in debt."
H:"What."
A:"I... I am in monetary debt to someone. I lost all my possessions when I exploded. Well, except for my panties."
H:"But you found some treasure, right? I found a water boiler rock, it's fun to play with, I'm sure you found-"
A:"Not enough. Wouldn't even be enough. I took an oath, a real oath, to help Nistamatsin for saving me from prison. Then I took some language lessons from his employer on credit. She's not as honest as she would have you believe."
H:"Azure, I... I can't believe-"
A:"S-so, so I... I can't... I can't p-pay you, I-I-I-"
H:"Azure!"
Hore puts a hand on her shoulder.
H:"It's okay. You don't have to pay me. I'll pay you."
A:"W-wha...
H:"Look, Azure, yes, it was always partly about the money. You kept me afloat when I would have wandered aimlessly looking for a job I didn't have the talent to find. But it was never about how much. You're good with money, and you're better with... with LIFE. Anyone else in your talons, they would have been scammed in a week with a knife in their back."
A:"uhhh..."
H:"Well, permanently. And more to the point, you're one of the few people who paid me so I would live. Not just to stay close to me, but because you wanted to see me again. Point is, I always trusted you would always be there for me. You and Pog are the closest I've ever had to a family since my mom died. So you're broke? Then let's earn you some money! You'll hold on to it better than I ever did."
A:"... Hore..."
*Tender hug*
A:"I'll make sure you get your full share. No matter what! Also, I'm not fully broke, I saved the crossbow-"
H:"Oh thank Tittivila I spent like seven months designing that thing and lost the blueprints."
A:"...Titty-villa? What? Aaand I even found one of my previous bodies' severed heads in preservative! Over here, see the green jar?"
H:"Whaaat? How is it not a pile of ash right now?"
A:"I don't know, I thought it exploded along with the guy who liked decapitating his victims over a vat of flammable oil. Somehow it found its way to the local town with my crossbow."
H:"Hm... this should be an interesting study. You think it would... you know... act as a respawn point?"
A:"Maybe. I doubt it. A one-time use wouldn't be that precious even if it could, but I guess every extra safety net counts. So! So far, I've made friends with Nistamatsin, his crew, Tall Jack Rat, his crew, and a sentient wolf. And his crew. Oh, and mustn't forget Miss Jalkaren, our employer!"
H: "Yeah, about that. You said your employer was an angel, an actual angel. If that was true, how are you not getting your asses fried by holy lightning or whatever when Nissie-mattie flips Heaven off?"
A: "She focuses on hurtin him, but generally? I don't know. Maybe the deck just has those kinds of side-effects. But now we're down 25 pieces of gold and he almost died."
H: "You have things under control, right?"
A: "Yeah, I guess. I put myself into second in command, so I get to do his job when he's too mad trying to heckle Jalkaren, and I'm also going to mediate between them."
H: "Hm... And how's the budget right now?"
A: "We have some serious money here and there, maybe 100 to 250 gold coins, but spread into wages it isn't that much."
H: "Wow, sounds like you shouldn't care about a 25-dip in your budget."
A: "That's just it, we don't have a handle on the budget. So we can't just pay everything in advance and expect our employees to stick around a dungeon filled with giant centipedes, but at the same time, we're vulnerable to thieves. Couple of morons we hired tried to steal most of the funding, from people hired by an angel, and tried to run through monster-infested woods to the nearest guard station, just so they could pay their previous bounties for some minor gravedigging, to a regiment of underpaid guards in the middle of nowhere while carrying two barrels of stolen gold. And not much else to say beyond-they're wolf nutrients now."
Azure makes the nutrients part quite deadpan.
H:"... Oh I get it this is a riddle. Ha! Hm... Maybe... Nope, too confusing. Okay I give up, what really killed them?"
A:"Death by tree monster. Hore, do not shoot the trees, apparently there's a powerful eco-terrorist druid doing this."
H:"Noted."
A:"So, how about you?"
H:"Well for starters, I got a boyfriend and a girlfriend-"
Azure looks miffed.
H:"Hey, hey! You're my sister first, and I thought you'd like them!"
A:"I thought you prefer women?"
H:"Vos likes it up the butt. It's where he keeps his bee eggs."
A:"Ewwwwwww that is so gross-hot tell me more later."
H:"Well, he's a priest of this goddess of mutation-"
A:"Wait, isn't 'mutation' a chaos thing?"
H:"Yeah."
A:"Oh... I thought you weren't into that, though."
H:"In retrospect, I need to be. If I want to develop my cybernetics further, I need body parts that can interface with them. There's also some benefits."
A:"You mean-"
H:"The plan was, I was going to let him 'bless you', but in retrospect, from what I've seen, I think his mutation magic could permanently kill you. Might cause permanent organ failure without directly damaging your body. Point is I don't know what it will do."
A:"Aww. Really?"
H:"Well, maybe if Vos gets a handle on controlling the effects in the future. Maybe. Besides, you're the one we're going to test our new mutations on. Any way you want~"
A:"I can live with that. For a while. Well, I'll just have to work on getting 'Eagle'."
H:"Right. We can still have fun together, his appendages are very 'exotic'. More importantly, this is Esmeraude."
Esmeraude, still unnerved from Captain's death, gives a faint smile to Azure and goes back to staring at her bracelet.
A:"She seems... empty. You're not taking advantage of her are you?"
H:"No, at least I think not. See, she was travelling with 'her Pog', we called him Cap, but then she tried to steal our loot while Cap threatened to kill me for accidentally headbutting her unconscious, and our senior lead Azarthraine thought he really was going to kill me and plasma-me-ha-me-ha'd the Cap to disintegration, no ashes. She's been near catatonic and suggestive ever since."
A:"That's horrible!"
H:"Yeah. We're trying to help her be a better person, and then the others consider resurrecting her bodyguard back from hell. See, she's a former noble with light blood ties to dragons, and we decimated the army she used to invade a small village, so she's been travelling with us in hopes of eventually regaining her former fortunes and summoning demons!"
A:"... You just invalidated any trace of honor I thought she had."
H:"Yeah, she's not exactly a paragon of virtue."
A:"Or an angel of love and mercy."
H:"She is enthusiastic in bed, though. Well, was. Might be again if she recovers. I thought you'd get to know each other, she could be helpful working for you, get your family some further connections, and I thought Pog might like a mentor in Cap, back when he was still alive and stuff."
A:"Well, my family doesn't usually work with nobles beyond basic bartering, they just trade their goods for our inventions, so if her assets are around the same as mine there isn't much I can do with her. But you said she had blood ties with dragons? I guess that might be worth something..."
H:"Right."
A:"Is she enthusiastic - I'm sorry, was she enthusiastic."
H:"Yes, but-"
A:"I guess I'll put her on my schedule, then."
H:"Well, just - be careful. She has a nasty acid ball spell."
A:"Hm. Well, we'll just have to wait and see. So what about your adventures?"
H:"Beyond that, there's not much to tell. Back in Passholdt, I won a championship. See?"
A:"Ooh, right below the breasts! Good thing too, I honestly worry you're going to ruin your chest nerves one day."
H:"Meh, I'll settle for better crotch armor. After that, Fire Hawks took a pirate adventure job!"
A:"Aw, and I missed being a red cockatoo on your shoulder! 'Polly want a hug in bed!'"
H:"Haha! But seriously, it was just an escort mission on a boat for three months. My arm was in a cast from the tournament, so I figured, stay inside most of the time, spend the first month letting my teammates do the work, and get paid one gold a week? Totally the job I needed."
A:"So how was your first time on the open seas? Did you get enough 'attention' like I said you would?"
H:"No. Not very much at all. I just slept with Vos and Esmeraude, some magic flying intercourses here and there. There was that magical exploding forest, and some idiot prince underpaid two construction companies in a bidding war, and there were mermaids riding on a giant turtle going to some kind of sports tournament, and our racist friend here didn't like being resurrected in an ageless, slender, elven body but is eager to explore his new feminine side."
A:"Heh. You always underplay your best achievements."
H:"Oh don't you start."
A:"So how about your other teammates?"
H:"Well, Ji's a nigh-suicidal daredevil but he's about as lucky as you claim Nista is. Maria hates my guts for messing with her brother, and after the way she took sick pleasure at praising her god for getting to watch Esmeraude lose her last family member, the feeling's mutual. Daniel is afraid of me but he's alright. Technically Maru is the owner of our company, she's like a rowdy version of you, but Davina/Viste (make sure you figure out which persona is which, we use them for business disguises)) pretty much runs the show similar to those CEOs you talked about. Azarthraine's a badass veteran, the kind I worked behind in the civil wars, he's weakened but he can use superplasma that I'm working on replicating, so with him around we'll kick ass. Oldaric is the racist I was talking about, he's currently smoking hallucinogenic drugs to keep his mind off the elven body."
A:"And how did Maru buy the company?"
H:"Oh, there was this stupid loophole in the company that said bringing back the remains of former members meant getting a share of the company or something, and since every other adventurer in the company was either dead or missing, Maru got every share for Azarthraine's bones. And its debts. And we're the ones literally bringing them back from the dead, so now they work for us anyway."
A:"Right, but you still haven't told me why you're here."
H:"Well, there's this place called Talon North we were planning on raiding next, except we need an army and training to assault it. So, I'm hoping we can do some work for Nis, get this hospital thing up and running, get paid, stock up and train for a while with medical attention, and hire some of your employees to help us take out a massive complex of war soldiers, college-aced wizards, and possibly a few demons or whatever."
A:"Sure. I'll convince Nistamatsin, he'll probably love the idea. I'm glad things are always so simple to work out with you around."
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