Start a chain of McWizard Schools

Get those kids off your lawn

Go to africa and get some child wizard soldiers

turn yourself into a gnoll

Do the wizardy thing where the spells make magic.

Also; make it rain canned tuna.

Make shotguns and leave them lying around everywhere.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)08:35 No. 417345 ID: 067a04
File 133839211301.png - (160.49KB , 815x850 , Wiz2.png )

>>417334

Those fucking kids!

"You fucking kids!

"Cheese it, dude, it's the Wiz!"

That's right, run or die, you little.. Anyway, I also gots a Wizard Tower. 'Cause I'm a wizard, yo.

>>417338

I hate children.

>>417339

But then I might be confused for Gnoll Wizard. He's a dick.

>>417332

Gnoll Wizard already trademarked it. That dick.

>>417340

It's not noon yet.

you should use your powers to kidnap one of those kids and make him into a kizard
(kid-wizard)

you should use your powers to kidnap one of those kids and make him into a kizard
(kid-wizard)

you should use your powers to kidnap one of those kids and make him into a kizard
(kid-wizard)

>>417348
>>417347
>>417346
shit sorry. comp is derping up.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)08:42 No. 417350 ID: 067a04
File 133839256992.png - (143.65KB , 815x850 , Wiz3.png )

>>417343

I'll just give 'em wings and let nature do its work.

>>417346

I hate children.

>>417347

I hate children.

>>417348

I hate children.

Make pi = exactly 3

Make a bunch of elementals. Make them patrol your lawn against children.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)09:22 No. 417360 ID: 067a04
File 133839494357.png - (88.89KB , 815x850 , Wiz4.png )

>>417349

S'alright.

>>417353

Did that already. That's how magic happened.

>>417355

Okay. I'll just take my Magic Elevator and go to the Room of Elements. That place be cray cray.

"Hey, Wiz."

"Hi, Clarence."

"Was that my buds tryin' to rescue me?"

"Yup."

"Any chance you'll be releasin' me?"

"Maybe later."

"'Kay."

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)09:22 No. 417361 ID: 067a04
File 133839497249.png - (59.47KB , 815x850 , Wiz5.png )

Doo doo doo.. I'm a wizard, doo doo doo..

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)09:23 No. 417362 ID: 067a04
File 133839501609.png - (110.67KB , 815x850 , Wiz6.png )

Here we are.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)09:39 No. 417365 ID: 067a04
File 133839595354.png - (127.67KB , 815x850 , Wiz7.png )

*poof*

Hm?

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)09:39 No. 417366 ID: 067a04
File 133839598635.png - (47.85KB , 815x850 , Wiz8.png )

"Hehehehehehehe!"

It's Gnoll Wizard! That dick!

transmute him into a floppy penis so his outside reflects his inside.

A wild gnoll wizard appears, use one of your shotguns to shoot him in the dick, that dick.

>>417368
first this, then >>417369
this

>>417384

This does seem like the appropriate move.

>>417366
Wizard him. TO DEATH.

>>417366
Cast 'shave' on him.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)13:28 No. 417402 ID: 067a04
File 133840971483.png - (119.27KB , 815x850 , Wiz9.png )

>>417368
>>417369
>>417384
>>417385
>>417397
AAAAAAAAAAAAA I'LL WIZARD HIM SO HARD HIS ASSHOLE WILL BE SCREAMING!

"Whoa there, Dizzy Wizzy, wouldn't want your spells to bounce off my lil ol' impenetrable shield and bounce and hit you instead, would ya?"

"fffffffgdstrntnfgfdfarhsnydojl"

"Now, let's have some fun! I wanna play a game, and you're gonna play it with me. Dunno what kinda game, though. Got any suggestions? You're not gettin' these elements until you doooo~"

WHAT A DIIIIIIIIIIIICK

Ugh, fine, see if you guys can come up with something. I can't stand to look at that smug face for another second.

is it impenetrable to everything or just magic? if just magic then kick him in the dick.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)13:34 No. 417405 ID: 067a04
File 133841005790.png - (15.33KB , 239x236 , Wiz10.png )

>>417404

Did I fucking stutter?

Teleport some acid inside of his stomach.

Kiss him you fool.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)13:53 No. 417409 ID: 067a04
File 133841119290.png - (18.02KB , 303x303 , Wiz11.png )

>>417407

Impenetrable. Shield.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)13:55 No. 417412 ID: 067a04
File 133841134527.png - (14.17KB , 310x310 , Wiz12.png )

>>417408

Not like this.

Not like this.

>>417409
Dick.

It's quite simple really. Cast an impenetrable shield on yourself, then anything you want to effect him can bounce off that and fly over! Simple!

cast your own impenetrable shield. then shoot him with any spell. laugh at resulting resonance cascade.

>>417414
How about you just teleport the floor out from under him/use a cutting spell to make it so he falls

He will fall
You will laugh
His shield might even reflect fall damage and make him bounce like a bouncy ball

It will be hilarious

Do it do it do it

>>417414

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)14:23 No. 417432 ID: 067a04
File 133841299174.png - (66.27KB , 815x850 , Wiz13.png )

>>417414
>>417415
>>417422

Aha, this is genius! Okay, cast an impenetrable shield, easy enough..

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)14:24 No. 417433 ID: 067a04
File 133841305936.png - (169.39KB , 815x850 , Wiz14.png )

Then I'll cast all the most destructive spells I know-

AIGJHUWERNBUHVJNREBKJNBRPPFHFPFPHFPH

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)14:25 No. 417434 ID: 067a04
File 133841310568.png - (44.84KB , 815x850 , Wiz15.png )

never again

they call it impenetrable for a reason

>>417434
SEE.

NOW TELEPORT THE FLOOR, WIZARD.
TELEPORT THE FLOOR.

>>417436
Wait.

If he's in an impenetrable shield, can air penetrate?

Ask him this. This is important.
More importantly, the second you alert him to it he might suffocate as his universe's science catches up to him. Or have to drop the shield.

You could wrap his own impenetrable shield with an impenetrable force prison.

Or you could play a game... how about a game where you make extremely minor and insignificant bets with the lives of lessor mortals (read: not wizards) for larfs?

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)14:43 No. 417448 ID: 067a04
File 133841422658.png - (77.18KB , 815x850 , Wiz16.png )

"Aw, poor silly Wizzy, did you hurt yourself?"

>>417436

"Hey, maybe your shield is impenetrable.. But can it deal with holy magic?"

"Yes. Yes it can."

"Wait, you can fly? The fuck? Since when?"

"I'm a wizard."

"Fuck, that's right, I forgot."

"S'cool."

>>417437

"Well, if your impenetrable shield is so.. impenetrable, it must keep out air!"

"That's right!"

"Aha! Then you must logically be dead, seeing as you've been in there long enough to die without breathing!"

"Nope. I'm a wizard."

"Fuck I keep forgetting about that."

"Come up with any games, Wizzy?"

"Well.. I guess I have one, sorta.."

"Oh, come up with a whole huggy bunch! I wanna pick and choose."

"FINE geez okay."

The Most Dangerous Game.

the oldest game. I miss playing it.

>>417449
Truth or Dare?

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)15:06 No. 417453 ID: 067a04
File 133841558157.png - (96.35KB , 815x850 , Wiz17.png )

>>417449
>>417450
>>417452
>>417439

"Well, there's the Oldest Game, of course, and The Most Dangerous Game. We could meddle in the affairs of mortals, or play Truth or Dare."

"Ooh, the Oldest Game sounds nice. I'll start! I am Magic, builder and destroyer of universes, that which has no rules and yet follows rules regardless. Your turn!"

"Uh.."

>>417453
I am Science, doing in the wizard, explaining how and why the universe works, creating rules and revealing the inner workings of the universe to be nonmagical.

>>417453
I'm the Gnoll Wizard. What a dick.

i am gnoll wizard, bending magic to my will.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/30(Wed)15:27 No. 417457 ID: 067a04
File 133841686471.png - (162.13KB , 815x850 , Wiz18.png )

>>417454

Hate to break it to you, man, but..

>>417455
>>417456

"I am Gnoll Wizard. What a dick."

"Oh, clever, Wizzy. Clever. Well, then. Let me give you a visual aid for this next one.. Ahem. I AM THE LOST STAFF OF INFINITE OPALESCENCE, ALL-RADIANT, MAGIC-ENVELOPING, OMNIPOTENCE-BESTOWING, SOUL-DESTROYING, WHICH NOTHING CAN OVERCOME AND EVEN FEWER CAN WIELD! Beat that, little Wizzy."

"Er.."

I have to go take a class final. I'll be back later tonight.

I am a clumsy child, dropping and shattering even the most powerful of magical artifacts.

i am the bumbling hero, nice job breaking it.

>>417457
"Hey, you broke two of generally agreed upon rules, cockhole. You can't start off with a cosmic principle like magic, and you can't escalate suddenly, like, say, responding to "gnoll wizard" with "artifact that makes you omnipotent". You lose."

And if the little bitch argues his way out of that, let's be the idiot that lost it in the first place.

I am forgetfulness, causing artifacts and history to be lost forever and thus useless no matter their power or importance.

>>417348
Just clock on the checkboxes on whichever post and then Delete Posts in the lower right corner.


And if he does ignore the objection about escalation, after a bit, say "I am the winner of this game, and I win because I win. If that is invalid, then so were your first two forms, and you lose. If it is valid, then I win and you lose."

>>417448
Wait, you can exchange BREATHING with magic?

Holy shit.

...Wait, you're a wizard too-
Why don't you just create new elements. You have already proven that there are pretty much no limits to magic except for when it's contested.

>>417457
Also, note down what this is.
We should steal it later, try and wield it. You're probably special enough to wield it and kill gnolly.

"I am a wielder of this staff, able to snap you over my knee should I wish."

"I'll be right back."

Get the staff. Wreck his shield.

Few can wield, but it CAN be wielder... Who is the last known wielder of the staff?

>>417457
Cast a temporally-unrestricted counterspell that will go back in time and mess up his shield as its cast, making it less than perfect.. right about now.

>>417676
no, that would be forfeiting the GAME you are playing, you must win it first.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/31(Thu)10:40 No. 417711 ID: 067a04
File 133848601008.png - (94.01KB , 815x850 , Wiz19.png )

417469

"I'm a wielder of the staff, able to snap you over my knee if I wish."

"Nice try, Bizzy Wizzy. But the staff has never had a wielder for more than a second. It's impossible. Plus it's been lost for untold millennia, so it's never gonna get a new one. You lose!"

417463

"Hey, you broke two of generally agreed upon rules, cockhole. You can't start off with a cosmic principle like magic, and you can't escalate suddenly, like, say, responding to "gnoll wizard" with "artifact that makes you omnipotent". You lose."

"Oh, you're no fun. It was just a game, anyways. Now get out."

"Huh?"

"I'm bored of you. I'm takin' over your tower."

"What? You can't do that! You dick!"

"Hehehehehehehe but I've already done it! You'll find all the boring stuff I didn't want to steal outside in a pile. Have a nice day, Dizzy Wizzy!"

417676

Done! Wait, nothing's happening.

"Oh, and if you're waiting for that itsy bitsy counterspell to kick in, I dealt with it hours ago."

Fuck!

417469
417489

"I'll be right back. With the staff.

"No you woooon't~! But hey, I'm a good sport. Let me get the door for you anyway.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/31(Thu)10:40 No. 417712 ID: 067a04
File 133848603929.png - (154.96KB , 815x850 , Wiz20.png )

what a diiiiiiiick

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/31(Thu)11:21 No. 417720 ID: 067a04
File 133848845913.png - (103.54KB , 815x850 , Wiz21.png )

That's it. I'm gonna get that staff, and I'm gonna MURDER GNOLL WIZARD TO DEATH!

But where to start? And how? I've never searched for a Relic of Infinite Power and Destruction before. I'm a very local wizard.

just start searching. get a party together. because as shown by the.. uhh. incident. you can't protect yourself and shoot at the same time.

Why that's easy! I'm sure you have a collection of ancient historical tomes in the library of your tow-

Guess you'll have to head over to the nearest muggle town and see if they actually have a library. Or at least a bard or something.

magically draw vulgar graffiti on his tower. then cast a spell of finding Relics of Infinite Power and Destruction. then teleport to said relic. then teleport back.

THE END

Cast an impenetrable barrier to imprison him.
Then say its your tower and he is your prisoner.

>>417720
Find GULLIBLE WIZARD and promise him a great reward if he helps you find the thing.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/05/31(Thu)15:17 No. 417749 ID: 067a04
File 133850267793.png - (116.37KB , 815x850 , Wiz22.png )

>>417723

HIS tower?! Rrrgh. Anyway, there's no such thing as Divining anymore, not since the Grand White Wizard of Woil destroyed that kind of magic for some reason or another. It might have been due to Wizards winning too many wars 'cause we were always eavesdropping on the enemy's meetings, or it might have been 'cause we Divined the Grand White Wizard of Woil visiting a House of Ill Repute and sent the tape to his wife. Hee hee, classic. Also, I can't teleport somewhere if I don't know where it is! Well, I could, I guess. But then I would be somewhere I wasn't, and I think I might be dead.

>>417722

Hey, yeah, I do have tomes in my MAGICDAMN IT

I guess I'll go see if the peasants have any 'libraries', though that's not the term I'd use for their places of learning. More like 'paper heaps' or something. But whatever. I'll check 'em out.

>>417721

A party, huh? Like a birthday party? Huh. Yeah, I guess I could use that to distract Gnoll Wizard. He does like parties.

>>417743

I wish. But you can only cast impenetrable shields around yourself, and Gnoll Wizard can penetrate anything else. He's a dick, yeah, but he's also the second most powerful sorcerer in the world. Magicdamned sorcerers, gettin' their powers for free. S'not right, I tell ya.

>>417747

I think Gullible Wizard told me he was going on a vacation to the Dimension of Extreme Wealth and Generosity. I haven't seen him since then.

Anyway, I need a map. I have no idea where anything is. Where's the staff? Where am I? Where's that stuff GW left out here? I don't see anything except Clarence.

>>417749
Hey. You can cast spells. In the past. Screw Divination, Conjuration/Teleportation will work. Teleport it from the past into the present. And wield it for a second. You can think faster than a second, so use that second's omnipotence to make yourself able to wield it indefinitely then murder gnoll wizard.

Conjure Map. Or, I guess you can be a dirty commoner and go buy one. Also set a spell to continually fling tiny rocks at Gnoll Wizard and hide it behind 7 magic-proxies.

who's the most powerful wizard in the world?

Create a tiny, tiny, tiny creature that eats rock and flesh. Have it be exclusively attracted to your foe`s magical scent and give make it immune to magic. Surely nothing can go wrong with this plan!

>>417749
So "Gnoll Wizard" is actually a sorcerer that calls himself a wizard? What a poser, no wonder he was jealous of you and your mighty wizardry.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/01(Fri)04:49 No. 417938 ID: 067a04
File 133855135282.png - (133.46KB , 815x850 , Wiz23.png )

>>417750

Okay, I'll be honest, Time Magic was never my sorcery of choice. When you mess around with the continuum, crazy, nightmarish, inexplicable shit happens, and even magic won't help you if you really screw things up. Besides, twelve years from now Time Magic will never have existed, so I don't really rely on it in any case.

Anyway, I don't know anything about the staff, so even if I could teleport it to me, I wouldn't even know when or where to teleport it from.

>>417753

The Grand White Wizard of Woil is both the most powerful sorcerer and the most powerful wizard in the world. Just most powerful mortal all around, really. He serves Woil, the Great Goddess of Grayscale. She's the Mistress of Law, controller of magic, and the source of all physics. I don't really know much more than that. I slept through all my religious history classes. They were stupid and boring and I never even need to know that stuff I mean seriously.

>>417751

I don't know any Color Magic like conjuration. S'way beyond me. Only the most powerful wizards can make complex things out of nothing, or teleport things to themselves. I can teleport myself to places, and that's been good enough, generally. Even then, I can only do it once a day, and there's a whole bunch of other stupid rules. Woil isn't big on spontaneity.

As for the other spell.. Bam! Done! Deal with that, ya dick!

"Really? That's it? Try harder!"

Rrrrgh..

>>417755

Nah, Gnoll Wizard is a master of Bath Magic. He leaves no trace of his douchebaggery behind and has no magic scent. Plus, that dick stole my elements, remember? No elementals until I get them back, or get some new ones.

>>417758

I know, right? He's a gnoll! Gnolls shouldn't magic. It's like frogs flying or babies fightin' babies. It's just wrong!

"Hey, man, you lookin' for something?"

"Yeah. Have you seen a pile around here anywhere?"

"You're talking to it!

Dick.

"So, um, I'm gonna just head back home now. You wanna come with?"

"Do you have a library near where you live?"

"I guess. We have a church, too, an inn, and a few houses. That's about it."

"Mmkay. I guess I'll join you."

"Right on. Let's roll."

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/01(Fri)04:49 No. 417939 ID: 067a04
File 133855139253.png - (177.18KB , 815x850 , Wiz24.png )

"See ya, Wiz!"

"See ya, Clarence. Sorry for kidnapping you."

"S'alright."

Wow, this place is a dump.

Where should I go?

that tall building looks kinda wizardly.

Cast an anti fire spell on the "books & kindling" shop so it doesn't burn down while you are looking up books.

>>417939
Wow, was your tower always that big?

Jagged roof building looks fun like it could be a good lead.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/02(Sat)04:48 No. 418241 ID: 067a04
File 133863772939.png - (262.37KB , 815x850 , Wiz25.png )

>>418052

Hells yeah! It's infinitely tall, actually. Plus it's a vertical maze. Other wizards call it The Scrambling Stair, but I just call it 'mine'. Or at least I used to. Dick.

>>418085
>>417944

Righto. Church it is, then.

This place is oddly majestic for such a dumb little town. There's only eight chairs.

"Ah, a visitor! Quite the unexpected shade! Come in, come in!"

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/02(Sat)04:54 No. 418243 ID: 067a04
File 133863808847.png - (209.13KB , 815x850 , Wiz26.png )

"A wizard? You must have come to visit the Stair. I must warn you, the wizard that cares for the place is crazy and crotchety, so be careful. He even kidnapped one of our local youth recently!"

"I'll.. Try to avoid him."

"Yeah, s'for the best. You don't look nearly powerful enough to take him down, no offense. Woil will probably smite him one of these days. Shame, really. I don't think anyone even knows his name. Speaking of which; what's your name, and what can a servant of Her Gradience do for you?"

"Wizards don't use names."

"Oh, right. What's your title, then?"

An infinitely tall tower? Wouldn't that collapse under its own weight and/or reach beyond the boundary of the observable universe? Also what about the shear forces from the rotation of the earth? Or the fact that anywhere near a light-day away, it'll be going faster than light due to said rotation?

Tell her your title is Beard Wizard.

the Sugar of Lips.

Gratuitous Wizard.

Because you're more than enough wizard for anybody.

>>417345
I think those kids did a good enough job naming you. You are the CHEESE WIZARD.

>>418247
THE ANSWER IS WIZARD

THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS WIZARD

A WIZARD DID IT

LOOK, HE'S RIGHT THERE

Upvotin' fer Cheeze Wizard

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/02(Sat)16:24 No. 418302 ID: 067a04
File 133867948296.png - (375.58KB , 815x850 , Wiz27.png )

>>418247

See >>418287

>>418259
>>418288

"Baby, I'm Cheese Wizard, and I'm lookin' for the Staff of Infinite Opalescence! Got any leads?"

"You seek the staff of evil?"

"Uh, maybe?"

"Don't you know what the staff is?"

"I.. am a bit hazy on the details.."

"But even street urchins know the story! How could you-?"

"Look religious history is not my strong suit okay just give me a quick recap alright okay yes great do it."

"Uh, okay. I think I have a visual aid around here which I use to teach the toddlers.. Ah! Here it is."

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/02(Sat)16:25 No. 418303 ID: 067a04
File 133867951999.png - (186.85KB , 815x850 , Wiz28.png )

"Alright, here we go. Ahem. At the dawn of the West, when these lands were still a chaotic jumble of madness and nightmares, the merciless Infinite Pantheon gave no aid to mortals. Woil, at the time only a minor goddess in the pantheon, took pity on us. She took all the world's evil, all its pain, insanity, all its bad stuff, and she sealed it all within a staff. The Infinite Pantheon, furious with her love for the mortal world, tried to destroy both her and the staff, but she turned its power against them and shattered the Infinite Pantheon forever. She then hid the staff in The Hall of All Lost Things, a place not even a god could find. Since then, she's ruled the West and everything within it. Woil is not infallible, however, and the Staff's evil has leaked out over time, but she hid it so well that not even she can find it. Many adventurers have tried and failed to find it."

"Uh.. Huh."

"Right. So you might as well give up this silly search. What did you want with it, anyway?"

>>418303
Come right out with it and say you wanted it so you could kick Gnoll Wizard's ass.

you're a powerful wizard. it's a powerful wizard staff. you do the math.

where's the Hall?

Guess it's time to go talk to this Woil. She probably hates Gnoll Wizard too.

>>418303
The Hall of All Lost Things...so...if we get lost, really, REALLY lost, then the Cheese Wiz should show up there too!

I want my house back, DUH

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/03(Sun)18:48 No. 418556 ID: 067a04
File 133877449460.png - (73.28KB , 600x600 , Wiz29.png )

>>418304
>>418308

"I need it to kill a certain someone."

"So you want it for its power?"

"I guess."

"I suppose I can respect that."

>>418335

"So, this Hall of All Lost Things.. If I got really, really lost, would I end up there?"

"Maybe, but then you'd know where you were, so you wouldn't truly be lost then, would you?"

"I, uh, guess not."

>>418310

"Well, I guess I'll go see if Woil will help me out."

"Whoa, what? You're going to go Her Gradience for help?"

"Yeah. I'll pop in and tell her that she's got some smitin' to do."

"You don't just pop in on Woil. She's a goddess!"

"And I'm a wizard. If I can make cheese, I'm sure she can make time."

"Okay, look, if you really want to find the staff, you should probably just ask your Wizard friends for help. I'm sure the wisest mortals in the West and you can come up with something."

"Oh yeah, me an' all my.. Wizard friends. Right."

"Here's a map, if you need it."

"Thanks, uh..."

"Corla."

"Corla, right, thanks. "

"Hey, do me a favor."

"Yeah?"

"If you do, somehow, find the staff... Could you bring it back here, so I can look at it?"

"Yeah, sure. See ya, Corla."

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/03(Sun)18:48 No. 418557 ID: 067a04
File 133877453029.png - (117.58KB , 815x850 , Wiz30.png )

I'll level with you; I don't have any wizard friends. Not really. Not any of the Seven, anyway. And if this staff is really as hard to find as all that, a couple of my back-alley warlock buds aren't gonna cut it. Oh well. I'm tired, it's getting late, and I wanna go to bed. Since my tower is bein' occupied by a you-know-what, and since sleeping outside is for savages, snakes, and other stupid things, I'm gonna rent a room at the inn. I'll figure out what I'm doin' tomorrow.

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/03(Sun)18:49 No. 418558 ID: 067a04
File 133877457286.png - (80.43KB , 600x600 , Wiz31.png )

This inn is pretty chill. It's got only two other people in it, so that's a plus.

"...takes me seriously and it's all weird and crazy here!"

"Look, miss, that's, uh, well, that's something, but I've gotta talk to this guy. Business and whatnot."

"S'up."

"Whoa, dude, you're a wizard! Haven't seen any wizards but that crazy wizard from the Stair in ages. How's it goin' with all the magic and junk?"

"The... Magic and junk is doing fine. I want a room."

"'Kay. It's just five brass for the night."

Right. Money. Peasants usually want money. I forgot about that. I don't really have any. Now what do I do? I'm definitely not sleeping outside with the wolverines.

Never again.

Wizard mind trick!

Use a spell that makes them think the desk is trying to eat them. The fireball the sucker. They'll be so grateful they'll repay you in any way possible.

You could magic up some gems or gold and what not, but yeah, turn the desk into a monster and then fireball the hell out of it.

>>418584
Better still, make the desk *actually* try to eat them!

>>418584
I think what you are referring to is called acid...

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/04(Mon)17:39 No. 418806 ID: 067a04
File 133885679751.png - (89.31KB , 600x600 , Wiz32.png )

>>418566
>>418584
>>418611

I think an illusion would probably be easier. Plus I'm not sure I can take on that bar in a fight. It looks pretty menacing. Lemme just do a lil invocation..

"BITCH, YO BAR BE CARNIVOROUS!"

"Huh? What are yOH NOOOOOO I KNEW IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME!"

"CHILL OUT I GOT THIS."

"AAAAAAAAAAA"

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/04(Mon)17:40 No. 418807 ID: 067a04
File 133885683135.png - (192.55KB , 600x600 , Wiz33.png )

*foosh*

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/04(Mon)17:41 No. 418808 ID: 067a04
File 133885686647.png - (85.90KB , 600x600 , Wiz34.png )

"'Kay, the beast is done, you can come out now."

"Whoa, dude, you saved our lives!"

"Yep, yep, it's what I do."

"What was that?! Fireballs? What? Fireballs? Why were there fireballs?!"

The girl doesn't seem to have been affected. Stupid fifty-fifty illusion odds! This might be a problem.

"Look, lady, I don't know where you're from, but spontaneous, man-eating bars are a real threat."

"What? What are you even.. Oh, never mind. Just get me another round."

"I'll get right on that as soon as I can find some nonsploded beverages."

Or it might not be a problem! Awesome. Everything's turnin' up Cheese Wizard tonight!

"Dude, you know what, forget the price tag. You can have the room for free."

"Oh, I couldn't possibly."

"Huh. Okay, then, if you insist."

"Actually, wait, I've given it some thought, and YES I FUCKING COULD POSSIBLY."

"Uh, cool, room's at the back of the hall behind that door."

"Right, I'ma just go sleep there right now. Don't let any gnolls in while I'm sleeping, or I'll kill you."

"You got it, man!"

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/04(Mon)17:41 No. 418809 ID: 067a04
File 133885688827.png - (60.33KB , 600x600 , Wiz35.png )

Wow, this room is drab.

Got any last minute questions or anything before I jump into Wizard Sleep?

'Cause I'm ready to jump into Wizard Sleep.

What do wizards dream about? About how they missed an obvious hook by not talking with that girl?

Dream about how next time you're going to get your wizard mack on.

I... no.

>>418809
Take a look out the window before you go to Wizard Sleep. Check for gnolls.

Good job setting the bar on fire!

Wizard Quest Chapter The First: Over and Done With IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/05(Tue)08:08 No. 418919 ID: 067a04
File 133890891950.png - (49.13KB , 600x600 , Wiz36.png )

>>418916

Don't see any gnolls. Only wolverines. Only wolverines.

>>418826

Fuck off. I didn't get to be a lonely old wizard by being good with the ladies.

I'm going to bed. Wake me when the world's ending.

WAKE UP THE WORLD IS ENDING

IdiomAlphae!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/05(Tue)16:13 No. 418974 ID: 067a04
File 133893798820.png - (89.59KB , 600x600 , Wiz37.png )

>>418922

TOO SLOW CHAPTER'S OVER

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/05(Tue)16:14 No. 418975 ID: 067a04
File 133893804058.png - (46.77KB , 600x600 , Wiz38.png )

Janet is attempting, rather unsuccessfully, to drown her humungous, man eating pile of sorrows.

Try harder.

elaborate on said pile of sorrows.

Indulge yourself in more self pity.

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/05(Tue)19:51 No. 419055 ID: 067a04
File 133895107216.png - (49.23KB , 600x600 , Wiz39.png )

>>419017

Done.

>>418984

Janet isn't sure where exactly her troubles started. It might have been when she walked through her front door and into Crazy World™, her name for this world, which is crazy. So far she's seen nightmarebeasts, sandbeasts, goblins and, apparently, spontaneously man-eating bars. Yippee.

It could have been then, or it could have been when that creepy fox-kinda-dude sent nightmarebeasts after her and they chased her for like three days. It could also have been when she realized the nightmarebeasts weren't following her anymore, because she was in the desert and they had died of thirst.

Perhaps it was when the kindly desert-people who took her in were all eaten by giant sandbeasts and she was forced to run for another few days. She's gotten good at running.

It just might even have been when goblins captured her and were going to sell her into slavery, only to be interrupted by the sandbeasts, which she only barely escaped, yet again.

But Janet thinks it really all started when she got up that first, cheery little morning and decided to go for a walk.

Never again, Janet thinks. She will never go for a walk again.

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/05(Tue)19:52 No. 419057 ID: 067a04
File 133895113285.png - (46.69KB , 600x600 , Wiz40.png )

>>418976

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/05(Tue)19:53 No. 419058 ID: 067a04
File 133895118251.png - (47.20KB , 600x600 , Wiz41.png )

"Bartender my cup'sh empty get me another round."

"I think you've had enough."

"You're not the bossh of me.."

"I've never seen anyone get drunk off of water before.."

Janet is tired, and, apparently, cut off. What should she do?

>>419058
Set something on fire! That always helps.

Go for a walk.

Wait, you're tired. Go to your room. Back of the hall, behind that door.

>>419067
yes.

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/06(Wed)19:19 No. 419408 ID: 067a04
File 133903556997.png - (43.11KB , 600x600 , Wiz42.png )

>>419061

Janet has seen enough fire for today.

>>419067
>>419068

Janet notes that her bed is oddly puffy.

She has no problems going to sleep.

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/06(Wed)19:20 No. 419411 ID: 067a04
File 133903563739.png - (76.69KB , 600x600 , Wiz44.png )

Janet isn't sure, but she thinks she might be sleeping on a wizard. Maybe.

She is not exactly sure how to proceed.

what did you do last night? do you remember?

>>419411
The obvious thing to do in this situation is to eat his heart to gain his power.

>>419426
Eat his semen you say? I find this acceptable.

>>419431
It's the only way to be sure he won't fireball you when he wakes up.

Huh? He was there yesterday? To avoid embarrassment, hit first and ask questions later. I heard that western wizards are pretty weak against punches and kicks. Also, take his hat. He's bald and that's pretty sad for someone with almost-cosmic semi-phenomenal powers.

>>419411
Very carefully get up and leave.

go back to sleep, the old dude probably won't mind at all.

>>419411
Janet's the second one in bed, so she gets to be the big spoon.

Best let her sleep it off before she does anything mentally strenuous.

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/09(Sat)23:41 No. 420321 ID: 067a04
File 133931047064.png - (183.60KB , 600x600 , Wiz45.png )

>>419426

Janet is fairly sure that that's not proper morning behavior, even in Crazy World™!

Still, she would like magical powers..

"Mmph? Huh? Sorana, is that you?"

"AAAAAAA I WASN'T GONNA EAT YOUR HEART, HONEST!"

"Whoa! Okay. Wait. Hold on. Stop for a second. Who-?"

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/09(Sat)23:42 No. 420323 ID: 067a04
File 133931057292.png - (96.71KB , 600x600 , Wiz46.png )

The door slams inward, and three men shuffle in.

"Aghhh, it is too damn early for this.. Howdy, folks. The name's Kylos Korentho, Wizard Detective. Well, that's my name. Your names are not disclosed in the warrant, because you are, respectively, a wizard and a teenage girl I do not care about."

"Wait. You can't be a wizard. Wizards don't use names."

"No, dumbass, I'm a Wizard Detective. That means I Detect Wizards."

"Oh."

"I am also a wizard, though."

"What!"

"Oh, for the love of.. Look, I haven't broken any laws by it. You've broken some laws, though. Must've had a wild time yesterday. I've never seen so many charges racked up in one night. Kidnapping a child, pissing on a house on the other side of the continent, dropping a penny at terminal velocity.. This is all pretty damning stuff."

"What? I didn't.. Well, I did kidnap Clarence, but I didn't do any of the other stuff."

"Uh.. Huh. I wouldn't have picked that one to admit to. Look, only the Master of the Scrambling Stair could pull any of that off."

"Well, I am the Master of the Scrambling Stair, but.. Oh, that dick. Look, my tower's been stolen, so.."

"..I guess that makes you negligent, too! Anyway, I gotta read you your warrant, so, ahem.. 'Cheese Wizard, Third of the Seven Wizards of the West and until recently Master of the Scrambling Stair, due to excessive criminal activity, including twelve counts of culinary manslaughter, eleven counts of ..' Whoa, this list is looooong. Tell you what, I'll just skip this part. If you really want to read it, you can do that later. Let's see, 'befouling the land', 'delicious arson', yadayadayada.. '..and seven counts of unconscionable nudity. You have therefore had your duties revoked, your titles stripped, and your humiliation turned manifold. You are to be executed on sight by the bearer of this warrant.' Hey, that's me! Guess you won't get to read your charges after all. Oh well!"

Janet isn't sure what to make of all this, or what she should do. Help!

"then you wont be ready for the GUARD GOLEM IN ROOF!" and when he looks up grab the girl and blow this pop stand out the window.

> Janet
Hey, girl. Listen, you're totally screwed. Trust me on this.

You see this detective? He will try to deceive you with some nice cop small talk, just to throw you in a pit filled with rat urine, sell you as slave to a slave of a slave prostitute, or make you drink five liters of Cold Stone PB&C shake. Daily.

This Crazy World™ is against you, everything will go wrong in the worst way imaginable. It's past time for you to face this fact. However, you've had enough! Let's retaliate in kind! Goodbye good old extremely bulliable Janet, hello Janet, horror and terror of multiverses! You see this cheesy wizard? He's a fool who can't tie his own shoes. Still, he got them Wizard Powers! You can use him!

Gather all the rage and contempt you have for this Crazy World™! Everything! Go crazy, girl! Start laughing maniacally! Everyone was so easily fooled! You're the master mind behind all these incidents! This wizard!? Just a bunch of rags! And now, for your most magnificent number...

Tell the Cheesy Wiz to abuse pyrotechnics, the most flashy and loud kind. You two flee while these idiots are confused.

> Cheese Wizard
Yo, cheesy dude. Listen, you're totally screwed. Trust me on this.

However, you're lucky this time! You see this girl? She survived everything that this Crazy World™ threw against her! All of them! Just shut up and obey everything she says!

>>420323

"Hang on a second, who WROTE this warrant? And how the hell did it come together so fast?"

>>420323
Ask him if he's really going to kill an innocent man. Well, aside from the kidnapping. Doesn't the fact that he's not sleeping in his tower indicate that he's telling the truth about not having ownership of it anymore?

summon them binding tentacles of uncomfortableness.

>>420323
The fool, he's stepped right into your (temporary) lair!
Rebuke him with all your might! (not fatally. You're far too powerful to just murder people )

Seems you're stronger than him, since he admitted you're the only one who could have pulled it off.


Devour him.

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/15(Fri)00:28 No. 422410 ID: 067a04
File 133974530537.png - (105.68KB , 600x600 , Wiz47.png )

>>420362

"Who came up with this warrant?"

"The Grand White Wizard. He must have something against you; he got it ready in record time."

"Oh, come on. How long a guy hold a grudge?"

"Probably not very much longer, seeing as you'll be dead!"

>>420491
>>420454
>>420325

"Hey, you said earlier you couldn't do what I can. You admitted you were weaker!"

"More like I admitted to not owning an infinitely tall multi-dimensional tower, which is kinda important for most of the stuff you did. But, hey, if you wanna think you're more powerful, go ahead! In fact, I insist on it. Why don't you just trounce me now? Get it over with?"

"Maybe next time. I got things to do, and you gotta deal with that guard golem in the roof."

"What?"

>>420356

You're right! Janet has had enough of loafing around or running! She is going to take charge, she is going to kick some ass, and most of all-

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/15(Fri)00:29 No. 422411 ID: 067a04
File 133974535287.png - (108.89KB , 600x600 , Wiz48.png )

-most of all, she is going to start screaming an hour from now when she realizes what was happening an hour ago.

"Sure, run, nobody's ever tried that before! It is still too early for this. You think anyone would mind if I just slept here for an hour or two?"

"Uh, I don't think the White Wizard would be happy if you did."

"Yeah, he probably won't be. Wake me when you can see all of the sun."

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/15(Fri)00:29 No. 422412 ID: 067a04
File 133974539139.png - (280.58KB , 600x600 , Wiz49.png )

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Ow! Geez. What's her problem?

Anyway, looks like we'll be safe enough in the woods until we plan where to go next. Speaking of which, I should probably go do that.

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/15(Fri)00:31 No. 422414 ID: 067a04
File 133974551576.png - (169.84KB , 600x600 , Wiz50.png )

What? This map is awful! All it has are the Seven's Towers. It doesn't even have any of the cities or forests or, or anything! Well, at least it's a pop-up. I love pop-ups.

Well, let's see what our options are. The Mirror in the Meadows is a pretty lame place, and the same can be said of its Master, Freeze Wizard. The Mirror is a giant frozen lake, and Freeze Wizard is kind of a clingy, boring guy. He wouldn't rat us out if we went to him, though, so there's that.

The Pendulum of.. Prox? Weird. I always heard that it was just called 'The Pendulum'. Huh. Well, anyway, it's supposed to tell the future. The Master of the Pendulum is Gravity Wizard. He's amiable enough, though kind of touchy and terribly paranoid. Not sure how he'd greet me. Haven't seen him in a while.

The Border Spire is the tallest mountain in the West, and the main wall against the East. The East is strange. It doesn't follow the same... rules as the West. I've only ever seen it from far up on my tower. It's vibrant, alien.. Hard to describe. They don't even have the same gods there. Hard to imagine a world without Woil. Anyway, the Master of the Border Spire and the entire Dividing Spine is the Wizard of the East. He's as odd as anything from over there, and though I've never seen him in person, I've heard bizarre rumors as to his identity. Still, he's far away and on top of a mountain, so he would probably be the hardest to visit.

The Well of Sparks is.. Well, it's like a well, but with fire instead of water. Not a pleasant place, and neither is Heat Wizard, the most brutally intense guy I've ever met. Going to him for advice.. Well, he certainly knows stuff. He's probably the smartest of the Seven. I'm not sure he'd receive me with open arms; we were never really close. But if I wanted information, he'd be my best bet.

The Door is one of the most terrifying things in the universe, I don't care what anyone says. I won't discuss it. Besides, Gnoll Wizard is the Master of the Door, and I really doubt he's gonna stop being a dick for a change just because I dropped by. I've never heard of anyone visiting him. He's probably not the most pleasant host.

Woil's Ring.. Hm. It's a bunch of interlocking towns surrounding the main church of Woil. It's also the center of all magical activity in the West, and the home of the Grand White Wizard of Woil, who rules it with the 'will of Woil', whatever that means. Honestly, it seems like he does whatever he wants and blames Woil for it. He's stubborn and snobbish, but he knows the most about Woil and her history, and if I want to contest the warrant, I'll have to go to him. If I fail to contest it, he'll probably straight-up kill me then and there. He's the most powerful wizard in the world, and I'm not.

Any of these places could be a good start or a bad end.

> cheesy exposition fairy
Damn, you babble almost as much as I do! Thanks for the info, though! That's all I need from you right now!

> Janet
Janet! Wake up! Sorry, everything is my fault! My motivational speech was far too long! I forgot to warn you, you will need speed reading!

Listen to me, I found the source of your problems! Woil! Yes, the goddess! She who controls this world! She wants to make a Janet scarf! What can you do against a goddess, though!? Do not despair, you're not alone! I have a plan! You will need to meet six out of the seven wizards! One is this old geezer, but just him isn't enough! The Mirror in the Meadows is your first destination! Go meet the Freeze Wizard! He's no big deal, but you need start at the bottom!

I'm tempted to say Heat Wizard, but it's probably best to go see Mr. Freeze.

the fire dude. also, something something temperature-related pun.

i am a wimp and i say we go see the freeze wizard.

We should visit the Freeze Wizard first mainly because we need a walking air conditioner before we try our luck with the Heat Wizard.

Just don't tell this to him.

Always nice to talk things over with people you can trust, particularly if you aren't sure how keen a mutual acquaintance would be about seeing you. Icy it is.

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/24(Sun)06:03 No. 425535 ID: 067a04
File 134054300107.png - (161.45KB , 600x600 , Wiz51.png )

"Righto, we're off to see the Freeze Wizard!"

"What? Whoa, wait a sec, buddy. I don't even know you!"

"Yeah, but I saved you from Kylos, and also that man-eating bar which totally existed."

"Yeah, by pulling me out a window and almost setting me on fire, respectively. I mean thanks, I guess, but being around you doesn't seem to be the safest way to pass the time."

This is bad. I don't know these woods, but forests in general tend to be pretty unsafe. Even in the best cases, you're bound to trip over a cacodemon or two. I don't much like to think of what the worst case would be.

I can't leave her here.

Who were we kidding? Maybe in death you can find peace, Janet.

> I can't leave her here.
Why not?

those trees look hungry.

"Lady, whatever I could do to you is NOTHING compared to what'll happen if you go off by yourself around here."

>>425603
Hardboiled as fuck.

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/27(Wed)15:27 No. 426786 ID: 067a04
File 134083607848.png - (126.52KB , 600x600 , Wiz52.png )

>>425542
>>425603
>>425701

"Lady, whatever I could do to you is nothing compared to what'll happen if you go off by yourself around here. But whatever, I'm leaving. Find peace in death and whatnot."

"Um, thanks?"

"See ya."

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/27(Wed)15:29 No. 426787 ID: 067a04
File 134083614045.png - (110.09KB , 600x600 , Wiz53.png )

>>425601

They certainly do.

...

*crunch*

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/27(Wed)15:31 No. 426789 ID: 067a04
File 134083628793.png - (97.32KB , 600x600 , Wiz54.png )

"You know I wanna apologize and say I would love to leave these woods and travel with you to visit whatshisface and leave these woods so let's go!"

"Uh, okay."

"So, which way do we go?"

"I don't know."

"What? But you brought us here!"

"Doesn't mean I know where we are."

"You are the worst wizard ever."

"You know what? Maybe this was a bad idea. Why don't we split up? We can cover more ground that way."

"That makes no sense."

"Your face makes no sense."

...

Shine a light on it.

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/27(Wed)15:38 No. 426792 ID: 067a04
File 134083668233.png - (148.69KB , 600x600 , Wiz55.png )

"...And your hat is just, just, just the stupidest piece of clothing I've ever seen!"

"Your face is the- hey, look. Someone to ask for directions."

"Seriously? Seriously."

"What?"

"Look, I've only been at this a few days now, and, granted, those few days were an extremely deep barrel of pain and confusion which I still somehow managed to end up on the bottom of, but, I mean, just think for a second. Tunnel made out of creepy trees which gets unnaturally darker and darker as it goes on, and a creepy, not quite visible figure at the end of it. How is following this path a good idea?"

"Hey, the darkness isn't unnatural, it's just getting dark. We've been lost all day. And just because we can't quite see the guy doesn't mean he's some abomination from the nightmare bowels of the earth. He's probably just some gardener or something. Even if he isn't, I'm a wizard."

"Yeah, but you're the worst wizard ever. You can't even wizard us out of here."

"Hey, I could! I just don't want to piss off any pixies or nymphs or whatever by messing with the forest. Getting jinxed sucks."

"Well, fine then! You decide what to do, Mr. Wizard!"

"Okay. I will."

Whiny bitch.

See? This is why you are at the mercy of everything, Janet. You expect things to be resolved by themselves or someone to intervene. Go there, ask for directions. If anyone or anything gets in your way, SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF THE MOTHERFUCKER!

>>426792
Walk up to the thing like you own the place, and call to him loudly... speaking loudly also means you don't have to walk quite as close to be heard. Ask him who he is and to get some directions out of here.

Hey, wizard, go talk to him. Be more of a man than that... woman. Hm.

Also, completely fail to realize that it's actually just more trees.

yeah, shine some light on the guy.

out of your nipples.

>>426978
Yes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQZuo1HOLro

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/28(Thu)09:52 No. 427019 ID: 067a04
File 134090237884.png - (171.36KB , 600x600 , Wiz56.png )

>>426791
>>426978
>>426989

Sorry, but pixies and nymphs are legendarily stuffy about their forests. Even making a light could be jinx-worthy in their eyes, or lack thereof. Still, filing that under 'good ideas' for later. Heh, nipple lights. Gonna be classic. Anyway, it looks like this guy brought his own light.

>>426939
>>426799

Doesn't look like a tree to me. Anyway, talkin' time.

"Hey! We're kinda lost. Do you know the way out of these woods?"

He's not talking.

"I mean, seriously, just point us in the right direction. You don't even have to say anything."

Now, I may not be the most social wizard around, but this guy's putting me to shame.

"..Okay, so point us in the wrong direction. Just, y'know, make a guess. Show some effort."

"..Mmm?"

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/28(Thu)09:53 No. 427020 ID: 067a04
File 134090241871.png - (162.18KB , 600x600 , Wiz57.png )

"Oh, were you talking to me? I'm sorry, I was asleep. Hi!"

...Huh.

"Your face is broken!"

What is it? Its beard is better trimmed than yours. Seriously, when will you take care of this swab? Anyway, you woke it, apologize and ask for directions.

>>427020
Say hi, and ask who he is.

No time to chat, we need directions!

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/06/29(Fri)11:48 No. 427395 ID: 067a04
File 134099568218.png - (102.64KB , 600x600 , Wiz58.png )

>>427023
>>427030
>>427051
>>427054


"Uh, hi. Sorry for waking you. What are you?"

"What am I..? Hm. Well, I am, more or less, exactly me."

How informative. "Your face is broken."

"My face? You saw my- Oh. This. It's a hat."

"Oh. Okay. Well, anyway, I haven't got time to chat. Do you know the way out of these woods? Oh, and what's your name?"

"You're lost too, huh? I've been here for a while, now. Don't know how to get out, myself. And I don't really remember my name. It's been too long since I've used it. Maybe it'll come back to me in a bit!"

"Great. That's.. That's fabulous."

"Sorry!"

Well now what do I do?

Okay, so now you grab both of them, impenetrable shield, then fly your ass out of there as fast as possible to get away from those little pixie bitches.

Where's Janet? She said nothing.

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/07/27(Fri)22:32 No. 437033 ID: 067a04
File 134345353291.png - (71.09KB , 600x600 , Wiz59.png )

>Where's Janet? She said nothing.

Janet is sort of standing generally behind me. I turn to look at her, and that guy follows my gaze. He jumps up and makes his way over.

"Have we met before?"

"I really, really doubt it."

"Well then, it's time for introductions. My name is... Ucekavio! Hah! I remembered! What about you?"

"Uh.. I'm Janet. Pleased to meet you, I guess."

"Janet? That's insane!"

"...Thanks?"

Janet doesn't look like she's particularly enjoying talkin' with Ucekavio. Whatever. It's go time.

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/07/27(Fri)22:40 No. 437039 ID: 067a04
File 134345401292.png - (137.71KB , 600x600 , Wiz60.png )

>Okay, so now you grab both of them, impenetrable shield, then fly your ass out of there as fast as possible to get away from those little pixie bitches.

Well, I can't cast spells or grab people while bein' all impenetrable. It just doesn't work. But I've got a few tricks up my Wizard Sleeves. And by 'tricks', I mean them Wizard Powers.

"I don't mean to alarm you, but your hand is glowing."

"Don't worry. Everything is under control."

"Are you sure? That doesn't look very-"

"Relax! I know exactly what I'm doing."

I have no idea what I'm doing. All I know is that this spell is gonna go off in three...

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/07/27(Fri)22:41 No. 437041 ID: 067a04
File 134345406367.png - (108.71KB , 600x600 , Wiz61.png )

Two...

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/07/27(Fri)22:41 No. 437042 ID: 067a04
File 134345408791.png - (143.76KB , 600x600 , Wiz62.png )

One.

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/07/27(Fri)22:42 No. 437043 ID: 067a04
File 134345417718.png - (172.53KB , 600x600 , Wiz63.png )

"Could... could you always do that?!"

"...Definitely. RUN!"

"What are you running from?"

"I think it's time to go. Quickly, if you don't mind!"

"Seriously, what's the rush?"

"Pixies."

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/07/27(Fri)22:44 No. 437044 ID: 067a04
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"Pixies?"

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/07/27(Fri)22:44 No. 437045 ID: 067a04
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"Yes, Janet."

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/07/27(Fri)22:56 No. 437050 ID: 067a04
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"Pixies."

Oh shit that one can see us!

Shoot them with Magic.

RUN.

Throw away everything you have. Coins, artifacts, accessories, souvenirs, whatever. Any of you have a ribbon?

cast napalm.

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/08/17(Fri)00:19 No. 444148 ID: 067a04
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>Shoot them with Magic.

Normally an amazing plan and one which I follow often, but Pixies are immune to magic! This is why the damned things still exist. Well, also because there are a lot of them.

>RUN

This too is an amazing plan and one which I follow often! Let's go with this.

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/08/17(Fri)00:20 No. 444149 ID: 067a04
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Right, it's been a few miles and a few hours.

We're in the thick of the Meadows, kicking back in the abandoned tower of Arlotithe. Arlotithe was some wizard from a few generations ago who bit off more than he could chew and ended up exploded. Too bad for him, but great for us, since it's dark and the others are tired and stuff.

We haven't seen the pixies for a while, but that doesn't mean we've lost them. Since wizards don't sleep, I'll keep watch, but that still leaves us with a problem...

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/08/17(Fri)00:23 No. 444150 ID: 067a04
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I'm bored as shit. All my usual entertainment is back in my kickass tower, and I haven't been outside in years. How do normal people amuse themselves? The others are still awake, so I could talk to them, I guess. Otherwise, I got nothin'.

How 'bout you? Have any ideas?

Practice your magic, so you can get powerful enough to beat Gnoll Wizard, that dick.

Or, make a temporary clone of yourself and play a game of wizard's chess against him.

Magic yourself up some temporary shelter.

See which of you can do the most backflips. Near the window. I promise this is amusing and time killing. Or I guess you could try digging for magic relics outside. Exploded wizard towers have tons of those.

> Otherwise, I got nothin'.
Shut it, you got them Wizard Powers. Besides, you can always meddle in the affairs of mortals (i.e., scare the shit out of Janet, again). Or play Truth or Dare.

Cheese Wizard!a1..dIzWW2 2012/08/23(Thu)16:24 No. 446672 ID: 1e31a4
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>>444170
>>444374

Hmm.. Magical clone-chess? Searching for magical relics? Backflips? Seems like a plan. I'll do that. It should keep me occupied through the night, at least. Thanks.

Dreamless!a1..dIzWW2 2012/08/23(Thu)16:35 No. 446676 ID: 1e31a4
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He stood still, body at rest, mind at work. He begged himself for questions, hoping that he might be able to provide the answers.

>>446676
What are you?

what's wrong with your faaaaaace

Dreamless!a1..dIzWW2 2012/08/23(Thu)17:31 No. 446695 ID: 1e31a4
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>>446689

He knows eyes allow vision. He knows vision requires eyes. He could see, and so he knew he had eyes. He could see beyond the ability of two stationary eyes, however, and so an unending ocular flux was required. Eyes adorned his face like ripples on a pond, being a part of it and yet never in quite the same configuration.

>>446683

He didn't have all the pieces, and from the image the incomplete puzzle formed, he wasn't sure he wanted to finish it. The most he had pulled from the puzzle was a name- Ucekavio. The only one he knew. It must be his. Other things bubbled to the surface, but he popped the bubbles, unsure of whether he truly wanted to know.

Sometimes, lines of uneven parallels and eyes which stared through him and within danced across his myriad vision, but he tried to pay them little heed. It wasn't fear exactly, but a dreadful knowing which stayed his mind and held shut the most important eye of all.

>>446695
Where did you come from?

What's insane about Janet being named Janet?

So what are the haps?

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/08/29(Wed)07:55 No. 449136 ID: 067a04
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>>446700

Janet doesn't think anything's particularly insane about her name! It's pretty ordinary, actually. Although this is Crazy World, so who knows?

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/08/29(Wed)08:00 No. 449141 ID: 067a04
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>>448975

The haps is that someone ran around the old abandoned tower setting up magic lights. Janet thinks this would be more helpful if they weren't just about everywhere, if they came with an on/off switch, and if they weren't eye-explodingly bright.

As it is, she's finding it difficult to sleep!

Seeing as someone went off without an explanation recently, it looks like Janet is going to have to somehow put the lights out herself, or figure out some other way to get to sleep.

Any ideas?

Try using water?

>>449141
Clap your hands. Obviously they are clap-on, clap-off.

Is there any way you could cover it up? If it's not solid enough to cover with a blanket or something, maybe try moving some stuff to block out its light.

>>450031
Good idea. If worst comes to worst, she can just cover it up with her shirt.

cover YOURSELF up. specifically, your eyes... with a blindfold.

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/09/24(Mon)14:52 No. 457598 ID: 067a04
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>>450031

Mission success! Janet was able to find a worn old blanket and cover the light. It has dimmed considerably! She feels victorious.

With that done,

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/09/24(Mon)14:53 No. 457599 ID: 067a04
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zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/09/24(Mon)14:53 No. 457600 ID: 067a04
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...

Janet!a1..dIzWW2 2012/09/24(Mon)15:07 No. 457607 ID: 067a04
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~CHAPTER END~

Quest paused.