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290529 No. 290529 ID: f5e4b4

Some people say that the best stories are the ones with a good ending. Others say that it doesn't matter what's written in the last page, it's what you've read to get there.

But for me, the best stories are the ones that are still being written, dancing from mouth to mouth like a licentious maid. So let's begin a new story, one not even I know how it ends.

472 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 307955 ID: e3f578

Lambaste her for not properly following snark duel etiquette and that her comeback defense laugh is not a good comeback at all. It doesn't even have any class!

Just, don't take this tough fight too seriously or get pissed off. You need your A game here woman and pirates fight there best when they're witty rather than when they get mad at psychics/wizards. Surly as a renowned Captain and Thief you know this but even pros need reminders in dire situations.

That's right, don't take the tough fights seriously. Feel free to take the guard seriously and prepare to block and counter. CQC is the only way you're gonna get past their shields.
>>
No. 307956 ID: 07416a

With a halberd he'll be telegraphing his moves all over the place. Just wait, get inside his guard, then show him your stabs.
>>
No. 307970 ID: 1854db

Use your acrobatics.
>>
No. 307978 ID: 441b13

>>307951
Draw the orb. Aim it menacingly at them.
>>
No. 307980 ID: eba49f

>>307978
No. Robes here seems to be looking for the orb, and can use magic. Taking the orb out where she can tele-grab it is exactly what we shouldn't do (at least not until we know what she would do with it, or until we have a loaded gun so we can shoot her while she is distracted snatching it)
>>
No. 307981 ID: 35e1a0

>>307980
the orb is bonded to us. it is most likely a ruby slipper. this is the wicked witch after it, just because she wants it doesn't mean she can just take it.
>>
No. 308122 ID: f5e4b4
File 130688655316.png - (327.13KB , 1000x750 , 91.png )
308122

The guard is clumsy and tells away his movements years before doing them. He charges with the halberd like a bull, so I dodge and kill him like one.

"Ehehehe, that was fun! But enough playing around, I have a lot of work to do, and I need that orb. Time to die, sweetie!"

The wall is starting to crack down, Mr. Bart will be here in a matter of seconds. But I might not have that much time left...
>>
No. 308126 ID: 35e1a0

use orb to deflect lightning bolt.
>>
No. 308128 ID: abb743

>>308126
Yeah do this. As massively retarded as it is as a plan the orb is the only thing you have on you that might have some magical properties. Of course you should also try dodge the attack if you can, but that corridor is kinda small for diving about.
>>
No. 308129 ID: 46c430

Throw your knife at her? Him? It?
>>
No. 308132 ID: eba49f

She looks like she is summoning lightning. You have a metal sword. If you can quickly detach the sword, you can stick it in the body and then crouch behind it, providing the lightning with a better path to the ground.
In any case, you should be ready to throw your knife at her at the same time Mr. Bartholomew breaks through and shoots at her. That shield looks like it only blocks in one direction.
>>
No. 308134 ID: 1854db

>>308122
Go "Wait wait wait, I can give you the orb, here, let me toss it over."
and pull it out then make a tossing motion with it. It will of course not leave your hand. Act confused and shake it.

Another idea I have is to throw your dagger at her to force her to cast a shield spell again instead of that death lightning.
>>
No. 308141 ID: e3f578

>>308132
I almost like this plan but it feels complicated and I kinda think that the metal sword won't be enough to attract the lightning thanks to being thrown by a mage.

Now you could try and use the body as a shield or insulator but... no wait no the first plan was better. Just get as far as fuck away from the bolt as possible with a matrix backwards dodge and leave your sword in the corpse.

Then say "It's seems your clock is off, hun."
>>
No. 308145 ID: 2563d4

>>308132
Magic laughs at your silly notions of lightning that follows low resistance rather than where the wizard wants it to go.

Put the sword in her body while she's busy doing a different thing with the hand that she raised her shield with and generally being a poncy show-off.
>>
No. 308146 ID: e3f578

Okay, another plan. "Want the stupid orb bitch? TAKE IT!" and shove the damn thing on her face or somewhere else if you can't get a good shot.
Curse yourselves together, go on crazy shenanigans as you learn the meaning of friendship or gut one another in your sleep.

But no seriously your gonna make lose focus if you take out the orb and offer it for a second, get closer, then BAM motherfucker. Even if she knows it's cursed and will kill skin it off your corpse, she's cocky enough or worried about its to let you close.

She will be fucked when you're both end up attached to it because she can't zap you with lighting without it being a conduit.
>>
No. 308166 ID: 330059

I say use the dead body as a shield. Doesn't rely on stupid shenanigans involving the orb somehow saving you or psyching out an insane mage who probably knows everything about the orb and won't be fooled by tricks for even a second. Also, for those worrying about the lightning conduction through you, it's a magic attack, which probably won't act like real lightning. Besides, it's probably a one hit kill spell, and dodging's not likely to work unless you can cling to the ceiling......DOH!

On second though, jump up and hit the ceiling! It works for Batman, right? I'm serious, in a closed corridor most people don't just jump UP. It's almost certain that miss witch will miss! :P
>>
No. 308182 ID: 07416a

>>308146
Yes what this dude says he is a plangooder
>>
No. 308187 ID: f0e3ae

>>308122
use the corpse as a shield, be ready to dodge, and try to buy time by talking...

Specifically say "all you want is the orb? if we fight there is a chance I could escape with it. Let me live and I will give it to you". Hopefully she says yes and you can keep drawing it out. Say "alright, uh, how do i make it detach from my body? it started glowing red in the catacombs and was stuck to my skin since" and/or "ok, no funny business... what guarantee do I have that you wont just kill me after i hand it over?, would it be harmed if I just tossed it past you and ran away in the other direction?"
>>
No. 308539 ID: f5e4b4
File 130704665805.png - (412.13KB , 1000x750 , 92.png )
308539

I slowly pull the gem out of my pocket, holding it on my open hand in front of me.

"You want this thing, fine, take it then!"

Any plan I could have in mind, any intention of using the gem as a ruse to get some time is suddenly erased from my mind when a surge of energy invades my body.

"GRAAAAAAAGHHHH!"
>>
No. 308540 ID: f5e4b4
File 130704674089.png - (465.85KB , 1000x750 , 93.png )
308540

"EeaaaaaAAAHH!"

"Eheheh... such... a pity. I was going to do you a favor and give you a quick end. I hope you think about this moment when you'll be begging for death. We'll meet again."
>>
No. 308541 ID: f5e4b4
File 130704679029.png - (162.65KB , 1000x750 , 94.png )
308541

I feel like I've been hit by an entire airship. Slowly I start recovering my vision and breathe normally, but I still feel pretty shaken. I hear the sound of the wall breaking down next to me.

"Wha...Who... Did I miss something?"
>>
No. 308542 ID: 35e1a0

it's a magic eater and re-director. eats the magic from any source nearby and then blasts it. perfect anti-mage weapon. well now let's see about letting the crew out.
>>
No. 308545 ID: 28e94e

>>308542
This.
>>
No. 308552 ID: ed9087

Make a note to get that orb looked at by a wizard ASAP.

Lets finish what we came here for!
>>
No. 308554 ID: 2563d4

>>308541
Hey, a clear shot at her back.
>>
No. 308556 ID: f9092d

Get Bart to throw you a gun and chase after the fleeing lady! You don't stay in this business by leaving enemies alive, she'll just come back with an even bigger hook than yours.
>>
No. 308571 ID: 1854db

>>308541
Tell him to shoot her!
>>
No. 308576 ID: a41aaf

Another vote for freeing your crew and following her. You'd essentially be clearing your escape route as you go, so you can always fall back to the tunnel.
>>
No. 308586 ID: eba49f

>>308542
It definitely acted like that here, but there is one minor thing that doesn't fit with that. When we stepped out of the catacombs, the orb immediately extinguished, and when we stepped back it in immediately relight significantly faster than when we first entered the catacombs.
>>
No. 308590 ID: 35e1a0

>>308586
first time we entered it activated due to mage presence, second time it was already activated so it could charge better.
>>
No. 308604 ID: e3f578

Shoot the bitch in the back. Don't give a fuck about honor or wit she isn't playing the game fairly.
A villain with decent challenge and BAM she doesn't even have fun with it so screw her.
>>
No. 308696 ID: d8d42e

Who cares how it charges. You now have a ball that fires FRICKIN LAZER BEAMS. What's not to like? We can figure out how it works later.

For now.. I don't expect shooting her to work, but do it anyway. Also free your crew and get out of here.
>>
No. 308858 ID: f5e4b4
File 130713989811.png - (279.59KB , 1000x750 , 95.png )
308858

"Shoot her before she can get away!"

"Shoot her? Who is her?" Asks Mr. Bart, with a confused look in his face.

The corridor is empty. Of course, wizards and witches, if there's something they can do well is disappear.

But hey, that went better than expected. I free my crew, who burst out of the cell in clamors while Mr. Bartholomew gives them weapons. Now I have all my people back, and turns out this red sphere is actually pretty useful. I sure showed that bitch.

Alright, enough of self-congratulations, we're still inside of the prison with a riot going on. We could try to climb back to the superior level and get back to the secret passage, or try to fight our way down to the back exit. Or maybe try some other idea.
>>
No. 308861 ID: 7aedd2

Grab the hottest guy or gal nearby (whatever suits your fancy) and give him/her a passionate kiss, then shout to everyone "THIS IS MY CREW. I TAKE CARE OF MY OWN!"
>>
No. 308862 ID: 1854db

Did you reload your gun?

Anyway let's get back through the secret passage while the other prisoners keep the guards busy.
>>
No. 308875 ID: 35e1a0

:3
yeah with the other guys taking the guards attention you want to be sneaky so to the passage!
>>
No. 308877 ID: 2563d4

>>308862
Let's call this plan A.
>>
No. 308881 ID: e3f578

>>308861
Pfft, no. That isn't classy. Shit like that should be saved for something to be all happy about.

Too much crew to go through the catacombs. Back entrance is the best idea, then head to the ship. It'd take a good army to stop your crew and the guards should eventually stop giving a fuck and retreat.

I'm starting to wish we had Miss Redhead along for Demolitions. Could just make a door then.
>>
No. 309075 ID: 099797

>>308881
Keep in mind that this is the same city watch that captured the crew during a frontal assault the first time.
>>
No. 309705 ID: f5e4b4
File 130740195599.png - (220.84KB , 1000x750 , 96.png )
309705

Yeah, the back entrance should be easier to reach than backing up to the secret passage.

"Alright, men! Getting in was the hard part, getting out of this shit hole is a piece of cake! Because they can't stop us! Let's see them try! "e'll bring the whole place down if we have to!"
>>
No. 309706 ID: f5e4b4
File 130740205812.png - (298.67KB , 1000x750 , 97.png )
309706

BAAAAUUMMMM

...And this is what happens when I leave her alone for too long.
>>
No. 309710 ID: f5e4b4
File 130740210494.png - (205.07KB , 1000x750 , 98.png )
309710

Yeaaah! Another hit, keep firing, this is getting fun! Hey, there's someone peeking through the hole... It's Kanela! Get closer, let's pick them up. All according to plan, of course!
>>
No. 309711 ID: f5e4b4
File 130740216248.png - (199.25KB , 1000x750 , 99.png )
309711

We managed to get everybody on board before the guards reacted to the attack and started to shoot us. And we can fly out of here before they get their ships ready to tail us...

But I think we shouldn't come around this city for some time.
>>
No. 309715 ID: 35e1a0

drop ballast rapid rise, full speed ahead.
>>
No. 309717 ID: 1854db

>>309711
JUST AS PLANNED HAHAHA
>>
No. 309793 ID: e3f578

Celebratory lesbian sex with your Master Gunner is totally called for.
>>
No. 310129 ID: f0e3ae

>>309793
more like celebratory orgy with everyone and everything on board!
>>
No. 310131 ID: 7aedd2

No orgy.
>>
No. 310141 ID: 55c4cf

three orgies in fact bring in snaketits i miss her
>>
No. 310153 ID: ed9087

Celebrations aside, you should convene with your crew and figure what you're going to do next,
and talk about the mysterious undroppable orb that shoots energy beams, seeing how everyone you just rescued witnessed it.
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