Try calling out and asking if anyone can give you explinations.

Get bogged down in bureaucratic paperwork.

Glow brighter. GLOW THE BRIGHTEST.

This is your new goal in life.

Fill out the necessary forms to request a neatly tailored suit. If the suit is not neatly tailored enough, be sure to file complaints against the employee or employees responsible for tailoring and pressing the suit. If you are unable to write a form, send a verbal request to your supervisor, and he or she will record the date and time of the request, and prioritize it accordingly.

Once your supervisor is able to requisition clothing and body parts that will deem you capable of performing your duty in the Bureaucracy, fuck all the bitches.

>>242661
I tried this. Didn't work well. Apparently, I can't really talk. It's kind of hard to get used to this "Incorporeal" thing. I wouldn't recommend trying it.

>>242663
I tried focusing really hard on "Glowing brighter". I heard a high pitched, grating voice in my head to scream at me to "Keep it down, down there. And stop talking to yourself like a madman." The voice sounded a bit like the deafening chorus of flies present at any cesspool, so I'd rather not rouse its anger again.

>>242670
This seemed reasonable. I wandered up and down the huge corridor for a while. I came upon a booth protruding from the eastern wall. The booth had its glass windows replaced by opaque black panels. Awfully intimidating. I "Stood" there, gazing out at the dancing lights and shadows for a while, when a voice not unlike but not the same as the one I heard earlier burst out with "Well? Are you going to fill out your form?" in an overtly annoyed tone. I was almost ready to ask him what in the name of all that is right and sacred in this world he was talking about, when I figured I might as well try looking for it. I tried to pad around where pockets would be, only to remember that I had no clothing or body for that matter, when a strange occurrence fell upon me- I reached into a pocket that wasn't there and withdrew a small form, roughly one-third-cubit wide and two-thirds-cubit long sheet of very fine paper. It reads as follows:

NAME:

SEX:

SPECIES:

SKILLSET:

SIGNATURE


________________________


I think I can just sneak by this with a few little lies. Suggestions?

>>242677

So you're saying because some people cannot make art, they should just not be allowed to do this awesome thing? Classy.

Suggestion 2010/10/12(Tue)19:44 No. 242680 ID: d93696
File 128693789778.jpg - (82.27KB , 457x268 , bureau.jpg )

Your form.

Get species claim form 1-127?

>>242680
I filled in the suggested information and handed the paper through the small slit in the booth.

The voice gave me a harsh laugh, followed by "We're a bureaucracy, yes, but we're not that kind of bureaucracy. Try again."

The paper was thrust through again, but this time only a small slip reading "SPECIES: " remained.

By god my dialogue is terrible. Also, I only used "Bureaucracy Quest" as the title because the Bureaucracy is my own unimaginative form of character creation. This is mostly experimental and I have precisely no fucking clue what I'm doing. I might have to rename it "Subversion Quest" if I end up following through with what's in my head at the moment. Can't say it'd be any good though.

>>242691
NORTHERN SERGAL!

i vote for humanoid slime.

>>242691
I too vote for a slime

>I seem to be emitting a faint yellow glow
Lohrke, duh.

rolled 2 = 2

---

Can't decide between NORTHERN SERGAL or another slimes quests.

1 = Slime
2 = NORTHERN SERGAAAAAAALLLL

Slime

>>242691
[23:50]<Brom>Slime Northern Sergal?

>>242721
Slime Northern Sergal, as long as we're being silly.

Lohrke!

So we can be any species?

Tozol.

NORTHERN SLIMEGAL

Can we ever have too many slime girls. Wait, do we even have more than two?

Anyway, slime girl.

SirTen!!H3AwAzMwMw 2010/10/12(Tue)22:52 No. 242766 ID: a7a85a
File 128694912178.png - (310.18KB , 491x749 , businessslimegirl.png )

Business slime girl! Okay, I can't vote twice, but, eh? Eeehh?

Slime

>>242698

I second the NORTHERN SERGAL suggestion.

NORTHERN SLIMEGAL sounds good.

>>242766
I heartily endorse this event and/or product.

Seriously though, this is awesome. Make it so. =3

Slime Lohrke?

>>242766
I throw my weight behind single female businesslime.

Large male dragon.

NORTHERN SERGAL

Or Lohrke

>>242766
The pretty picture gets my vote

>>242766
This, for >>242913 this reason.

NORTHERN SERGAL! Because slimegirls have always been 'meh' in my eyes.

northern slime sergal.

Northern Sergal with a venom-style slime symbiote.

Strange slime/sergal hybrid.

And then Disst learned his lesson about letting the audience create the character.

Quest closed because it was ill in concept and thus kind of fell apart.

What?
WHY?

>>243004
Did you really expect anything different?

>>243028
To be honest? No. A man can dream, though.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)18:27 No. 243084 ID: 2563d4
File 128701961954.gif - (20.34KB , 640x480 , bs000.gif )

>>243004
Don't worry mate! I got your back!

>>242721
>>242727
>>242735
>>242873
>>242930
>>242933
>>242937
SLIME-COVERED NORTHERN FUCKING SERG---

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)18:27 No. 243086 ID: 2563d4
File 128701963866.gif - (13.50KB , 640x480 , bs001.gif )

>>243084
oh god i don't feel good

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)18:27 No. 243087 ID: 2563d4
File 128701966583.gif - (3.25KB , 640x480 , bs002.gif )

>>243086
*whimper*

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)18:28 No. 243089 ID: 2563d4
File 128701971767.gif - (13.21KB , 640x480 , bs003.gif )

>>243087
I stagger to my feet and lean on a wall conveniently out of shot. Oh god. That slime...did something.

What...what am I?

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)18:29 No. 243090 ID: 2563d4
File 128701976077.gif - (12.17KB , 640x480 , bs004.gif )

>>243089
There is a female gnoll in a business suit here.

She appears to be tightly clutching a stack of forms B-869.

say hi.

>>243090
"...yo wassup?"

Slimehug her.

AH HA HA HA.

I approve.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)18:38 No. 243107 ID: 2563d4
File 128702031335.gif - (13.59KB , 640x480 , bs005.gif )

I attempt to offer pleasantries.

There is no longer a female gnoll in a business suit here.

well dang. pick up all her B-869 forms and chase after her, to a benny hill theme.

Chase her down and lecture her for not filling out forms 17C-20C for permission to flee an area.

>>243109
Yes, this.

As a synx, you are contractually obligated to smile creepily all the time at everyone you meet.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)18:49 No. 243113 ID: 2563d4
File 12870209457.gif - (18.17KB , 640x480 , bs006.gif )

YOU GOT
FORM B-869

+10 Bureaucracy Points

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)18:49 No. 243115 ID: 2563d4
File 128702099455.gif - (8.68KB , 640x480 , bs007.gif )

I chase off in her direction. Hmm. Where did she go?

try the break room. if nothing else you can get a coffee to fuel you.

Unimportant. Now, if one form B-869 is worth 10 Bureaucracy Points then a hundred of them will be worth 1000! Go to copy room, achieve greater Bureaucracy!

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)19:10 No. 243127 ID: 2563d4
File 128702222956.gif - (14.44KB , 640x480 , bs008.gif )

I open the break room door and smile sweetly.

The gnoll businesswoman appears to be huddled in the corner by the fancy coffee machine. Maybe she dropped her expresso capsule?

Well, then you should get her a new one. After all, workplace synergy and all that.

Tell her we had some problems filling out FORM B-869 and need WORKSHEET 869-A in order to finish filling it out.

Also, get some coffee. It will make you feel better.

This has been a glorious hijack

It's rape time.

She clearly requires more smiling to be assuaged. You should also present her with the forms you have completed.

>>243127
Try saying hi again.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)19:37 No. 243140 ID: 2563d4
File 128702382978.gif - (16.08KB , 640x480 , bs009.gif )

I can't get a capsule! I don't have any capsule requisition forms!

I kneel down but can't see hers, so I reach for the pot and a mug, while explaining my need for WORKSHEET 869-A.

She listens courteously without interrupting. What a nice lady. Hasn't answered if she'd like a mug of the filter coffee, though. Maybe she's too polite to mention that it tastes like burnt Nedyvor droppings?

>>243140
Yyyyyeah she still seems terrified of you.

oh well leave the pot there and thank her for her time

>>243140
Develop nervous tic of licking own eye.
Also back off a bit.

OHSHI-

Your recent slime-related incident probably counted as a workplace injury, didn't it?

Good lord, man, what are you doing there? You need to fill out OSHA FORM 29-872-2007 immediately! Your potential compensation is at stake, not to mention various serious compliance issues of the company! Find your manager!

Accidentally spill the coffee. Then lick it off her.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)19:48 No. 243163 ID: 2563d4
File 128702450090.gif - (12.77KB , 640x480 , bs010.gif )

Euch...why did I think this was a good idea?

Now rape her.

well since nothing else seems to be in here let's check the copy room. fill out that form and then copy it into triplicate.

>>243163
You've got me.

Ask her where the form to report whatever the heck just happened to you is.

Say "JESUS SHIT FUCK MY EYE" since there's probably some kind of bullshit Synx magic that makes your tongue hurt things.

Next, ask for a form to change your species.

She looks so scared and vulnerable. Just waiting for someone to force themself on her. Go ahead.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)19:58 No. 243173 ID: 2563d4
File 128702513712.gif - (13.76KB , 640x480 , bs011.gif )

Workplace injury forms! I start freaking out at the magnitude of the situation.

The gnoll businesswoman sheepishly peeps up that the secretarial office should have OSHA form 29-872-2007.

>>243163
Offer to take the nice businessgnoll out to dinner at her favorite restaurant as soon as you get these forms filled out.

You're obviously new in town and don't have many friends yet and she's been so polite what with the whole not interrupting you thing.

>>243163
Ramble about how ocular devices never taste the way they're supposed to. Then ask her what she thinks should taste like. Introduce yourself and ask her if she knows how what do like.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)20:06 No. 243183 ID: 2563d4
File 128702560954.gif - (16.31KB , 640x480 , bs012.gif )

>rape
>rape
>rape

Damn it. You can't rape the willing.

Oh well, pick her up and ask if she would care to join you. Perhaps find a form to bypass the species stipulation so you can get that suit!

After dealing with the OSHA form, that is.

>>243183
Just turn the filthy radio in your room off! It's that part of the day where they play rap about raping and bein gangsta and crap. I don't even know why someone tuned into to that.

>>243187
Sure, why not. If she's actually familiar with this place, it'd be a lot better for her to lead the way, rather than for you to stumble onto floor C which requires form X-32-B to enter and rapidly find yourself trapped in a maze of forms and inaccessible areas.

Right, better ask after that change-of-species form too. New chair, new keyboard, possibly new cubicle, and you know if you touch any of that stuff yourself the unions will be all over your ass.

>>243183
Okay, so ask her why we're here. That doesn't really seem clear yet. We just sorta started existing.

IT'S A BIT DISCONCERTING.

rape :D

Consume her whole and slowly digest her in your tough abdomen stomach sack, so you don't have to snack later.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)20:17 No. 243194 ID: 2563d4
File 128702623734.gif - (13.85KB , 640x480 , bs013.gif )

"You know, eyes never quite taste how you think they might. Sayyy, how about dinner at your favorite restaurant as soon as I get these forms filled out?"
"Sure! Fine! Whatever you want!"

What a friendly soul.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)20:23 No. 243198 ID: 2563d4
File 128702658785.gif - (12.80KB , 640x480 , bs014.gif )

I help her up, and she leads me to the nearest secretarial office.

Well, rats. There's OSHA form 29-872-2007, but I can't just take it without approval, and I can't disturb the floor manager without going via the secretary, who isn't here!

>>243198
Oh darn it, it happened anyway.

Hm.

Ask her what forms qualify as your recourse here, and where they're at. Or if she happens to be a secretary who's not currently at your desk.

Oh, I'm sorry. Fill out forms 623C and 996B, in triplicate.

Then rape her.

hmmm... fill out the form while you wait. as long as it isn't moved off the desk it's fine.

>>243201
Er, her desk, not yours.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)20:38 No. 243211 ID: 2563d4
File 128702753119.gif - (17.90KB , 640x480 , bs015.gif )

Perfect! I feel so wicked, yet it's technically correct, the best kind of correct!

+5 Bureaucracy Points
+10 Renegade Points

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)20:40 No. 243213 ID: 2563d4
File 128702764539.gif - (9.14KB , 640x480 , bs016.gif )

...unfortunately it looks like I'm still going to need to find the secretary.

dang. well since it is filled out you can leave it there, hopefully they will see it and think they somehow forgot one and send it in for processing.

>>243213
Again, ask gnoll chick if she happens to be a secretary.

Otherwise, time to go hunt down somebody. Joy.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)20:49 No. 243221 ID: 2563d4
File 128702819026.gif - (12.31KB , 640x480 , bs017.gif )

I express my exasperation at the secretary's absence.

"Joy? I saw her when I was, er, heading for the break room."

That sure seems to have perked her up. Canids love to play fetch quests, I guess.

It occurs to me that you don't know this nice lady's name. Maybe you need to rectify this situation.

>>243221
Ask what the gnoll chick's name is, then have both of you head over in the direction she pointed.

cool, we have out heading.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)21:11 No. 243244 ID: 2563d4
File 128702947216.gif - (9.62KB , 640x480 , bs018.gif )

Damn, she's---I mean Sherla is fast.

>>243244
Copy room?

>>243221
Ask if Joy's eyes are tasty, then twist your head 360 degrees in place and thank the gnollgirl, then crawl backwards up the walls up onto the ceiling and make your way out to look for Joy.

congratulate her on her speed. then check the copy room.

>>243244
Check the copy room!
Also, ask Sherla what her name is.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)21:27 No. 243259 ID: 2563d4
File 128703042047.gif - (22.68KB , 640x480 , bs019.gif )

The door seems stuck, but forcing it is no problem for someone as stro---

Oh honestly.

I bet she hasn't filed the requisition forms for the paper she's using.

Reset the "__ days since last butt photocopy" sign and leave.

>>243259
Ask her if she wouldn't happen to be Joy, and explain blah blah blah etcetera.

Say "Oh, like they won't know who it was."

>>243263
Also remember to get the signature.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)21:42 No. 243278 ID: 2563d4
File 128703136911.gif - (11.05KB , 640x480 , bs020.gif )

I update the office record-keeping signage.

+1 Bureaucracy Point

A rather flustered Joy says that she realised that she'd be pretty identifiable, but she signed-off a TV-1970 stereotypical office hijinks form without really paying attention, and she couldn't just shred it or anything.

The boss' schedule should be clear, though. Since a workplace accident is a priority, she'll book a meeting as soon as she's done here.

ah, well since she signed off on it before hand then it's all good.

Smile like a huge creep and say you'll wait.

Ahh, but as she already knows the TV-1970 does not specify the personnel requirements for generic hijinx.

Sherla can sub in while you get your meeting scheduled. Tell me you didn't want to see that anyway.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)21:52 No. 243295 ID: 2563d4
File 128703197682.gif - (12.29KB , 640x480 , bs021.gif )

Sherla agrees unexpectedly eagerly. While Joy is dressing she takes the toner cartridge out of the copier and replaces it with a nearly-dead one from the recycling pile. I can't help but feel that I'm being an influence.

+10 Renegade Points

I return to Joy's desk with her, and she waves me on to the boss' office.

>>243287
Yes indeedy.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)22:02 No. 243300 ID: 2563d4
File 128703255527.gif - (11.78KB , 640x480 , bs022.gif )

Joy hands me the mostly-completed form and I step into the Boss' office. He's reading THE FIGURES and hasn't yet noticed me.

polity cough to get his attention.

>>243300
Put your face unnervingly close to his and grin. Then hand him the form.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)22:09 No. 243306 ID: 2563d4
File 128703295223.gif - (13.74KB , 640x480 , bs023.gif )

I lean in and cough.

Once he's run out of air to scream with, I hold up the form.

tell him it only needs him to sign it left.

Get him to sign it.

>>243306
"Could you sign this?"

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)22:23 No. 243315 ID: 2563d4
File 128703379283.gif - (21.63KB , 640x480 , bs024.gif )

YOU GOT
COMPLETED OSHA FORM 29-872-2007

+10 Bureaucracy Points

Congratulations! You have correctly reported this workplace incident through outstanding teamwork!

FINAL SCORE:
26 Bureaucracy Points
15 Renegade Points
0 Horse Points
∞ Sweet Gnoll Lovin' Points

Thanks for playing guys. I think a high-speed unplanned quest did me the world of good, even if daybreak is imminent. :)

Best quest on /quest/. Nice save, LP.

A+ rating, would sign in triplicate again.

Five stars, good show.

>>243315
Make a sequel some time!

I filled out the necessary forms to enjoy this quest.