>>23118

I think you need some sort of backup, wait for BUTTlers return then head out, make preparations for evil in the meantime.

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)09:16 No. 23120 ID: 45afb1
File 124948899446.png - (12.00KB , 433x337 , MLQ10.png )

>>23119
"Yeah um, what kinda preparations are we talking here? I got the spells, I don't eat, I only sleep when I'm bored, and all my toys are are broken... well all except for my yo-yo, but I'm no good at it."

>>23120
Well, what spells do you keep up?
Something to weaken, something to curse, something to kill, something to raise, something to rapidly unraise should the situation call for it, etc.

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)09:42 No. 23125 ID: 45afb1
File 124949057033.png - (12.72KB , 433x337 , MLQ11.png )

>>23121
"To tell you the truth, I'm reeeealy behind on my spells, so um yeah... Oh look here come Buttler!"

Suggestion 2009/08/05(Wed)10:36 No. 23150 ID: 9a71e2
File 124949375878.jpg - (36.69KB , 1052x800 , 1223575745271.jpg )

>>23125
>Half-skeleton

>>23125
Anyway, you should probably double check that you have knowledge of how to raise both Kobold Zombies and Kobold Skeletons in your service. If you can make some sort of Kobold flesh golem or bone golem that would be great too, but I imagine that will come later.

Have that info? Yes? Great!

Now, make sure to lock up the castle (which is awesome, by the way), and doublecheck that everything is stored away well enough that you shouldn't have to worry about the place while you are out. Don't want adventurers showing up and trashing the place, right?

Okay, now, head for that graveyard with your butler, and lets see what can be done there.

SZ 2009/08/05(Wed)12:05 No. 23216 ID: 4b96a7
File 124949912794.jpg - (143.36KB , 640x480 , 1225846930708.jpg )

>>23125
>half skeleton

I laughed.

Ok, So, what spells do you have in your arsenal, that you can reliably cast?

...Apart from magic missile, that party trick won't take you far.

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)12:11 No. 23224 ID: 45afb1
File 124949951559.png - (8.59KB , 426x318 , MLQ12.png )

>>23150
"OMG AKU IS LIKE THE GREATEST INSPIRATION TO ME EVER! I heard about him on the crystal ball on the evil news channel. Didn't he send some dude to the future?"

>>23216
"I got my handy dandy book of spells in my robes just for such an occasion, its shame I never took the time to memorize it."

>>23163
"I told you, all the graveyards are empty! But I will head to the kobold camp for some real chaos! I DECLARE, BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME BY THE RIGHTS OF THE HOUSE OF BAD THINGS, THAT TODAY SHALL BE FILLED WITH... EEEEEVIIIIILLLL!"

>>23224
Demand a tribute of their dead, in exchange for protection.
Or just kill them all and use them as a starter army.
The first will get you a possibly rebellious constant source of bodies, while the second will get you a set amount.

Unrelatedly, get a large ribcage to add to the top of Buttler for armor; weapons and arms can be added later.

>>23224

What? You have almost all your spells in a single book and very few if any, memorised?? What if a Kobold steals it!? What if Skeletoir grabs it!? What if you drop the thing!?

You need to swat up on at least a few spells next chance you get, otherwise you're asking for trouble.

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)12:37 No. 23247 ID: 45afb1
File 124950104998.png - (7.65KB , 426x318 , MLQ13.png )

"Shit. I forgot, the kobold camp is on the OTHER side of the river, and Buttler is afraid of water. I guess I'm on my own for this part..."

>>23231
"That first one sounds like the best course of action. Especially seeing as I find Kobolds too adorable to kill... ironic isn't it? And I'll see if I can find a rib cage big enough for him, but seeing as these are Kobolds I doubt it."

>>23235
"I'll get too it... eventually, but for now my robes are the safest place to keep it. Its fire, water, electric, and ice protected with massive endurance and highly form fitting for any evil doer to feel snug while committing mass genocide. Plus it comes with an easy on and off zipper."

>>23247
Well, if nothing else, you don't need to breathe.
And I think you might float, anyway.
Find something to paddle across on, or hail them for a boat.

>>23247

Magic of any use here to help get across? It's not like a King of the Undead to use a little boat unless it's a suitably evil, magnificent one. You need to intimidate these Kobolds.

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)12:56 No. 23261 ID: 45afb1
File 124950219057.png - (6.86KB , 426x318 , MLQ14.png )

>>23250
"It doesn't look like they have a boat, and I can't find anything I can float over with."

>>23257
"And I can't find any spells in my book."

"I guess I'll just swim across... here goes nothing."

*Cutscene initiated*

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)13:01 No. 23265 ID: 45afb1
File 124950249957.png - (7.72KB , 426x318 , MLQ15.png )

"Glurgle gurgle gurgle"

>>23265
YOU DON'T EVEN BREATHE
WAT

SZ 2009/08/05(Wed)13:07 No. 23270 ID: 4b96a7
File 124950283591.png - (20.71KB , 577x303 , 234235345345.png )

>>23267
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Suggestion 2009/08/05(Wed)13:10 No. 23271 ID: 3e7a1f
File 124950299966.gif - (31.29KB , 674x764 , lolend.gif )

For posterity cause I lol'd.

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)13:13 No. 23274 ID: 45afb1
File 12495031888.png - (8.75KB , 426x318 , MLQ18.png )

"..."
"..."
"hi."
"hi."

*cutscene end*

>>23274
Check on spellbook.
Or, uh, flirt or something, I don't know.

>>23274

Now that's a potential Mistress if ever I saw one, make a note to let her live should you kill the others.

Also, thank her for saving your li-..uhh..wait, just thank her.

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)13:20 No. 23281 ID: 45afb1
File 124950364340.png - (8.82KB , 426x318 , MLQ19.png )

>>23276
"..."

>>23277
*Mental note: she is very very cute*

*pwing*

"I never knew the undead could get boners..."

"It's just a loose bone..."

*Mental note: God damnit*

>>23281
'Loose bone'?
Get control of yourself, boy, you're a long ways away from needing vampiric eyecandy to make you look more intimidating.
Ask where the leaders are, and whether she's busy late... I mean just that first one.

>>23281

Ask for her name, then ask about the village, any dead Kobolds lying around, leaders, equipment etc etc.

Make her your sexy blackguard. A lich needs one.

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)13:50 No. 23298 ID: 45afb1
File 124950541247.png - (8.79KB , 426x318 , MLQ20.png )

>>23290
>>23289
"So umm... what's your name?"

"Jasmine. And whats your sweety?"

"Um uh, Donatio, but my friends call me Donny, um could you show me whee the leader of this tribe is?"

"You mean daddy? I think he's to busy to see a cutey like you. Now, why don't you show me this "loose bone" of yours?"

>>23298
Up to you, man.
Narration traditionally drops off at this point as the screen fades to black.
I might mention, however, that 'daddy' will probably look less than kindly on boning his daughter on the riverbank in full view of the village, and/or making her unhappy. I propose you find a more secluded spot or politely refuse.

>>23298

Come on Don, this Jasmine chick totally digs you, so get your priorities straight, take her somewhere quiet and just get to know each other. Refuse the checkup though. Ask her about herself, whether she's travelled much, heard any recent news. (Two birds with one stone, chat her up AND get valuable intel)

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)14:06 No. 23305 ID: 45afb1
File 124950638550.png - (8.79KB , 426x318 , MLQ22.png )

>>23299
>>23302
"Here's a deal. I'm pretty sure your daddy won't like to see you getting on someone you just met right in front of the entire village."

"Don't you worry about that sweety, daddy is pretty lenient about that kind of stuff, he knows its the only way for us kobolds to get ahead in life. Interpret that anyway you like hun."

"Then how about this, I talk to your daddy about a little business between me and the village and then you and I get together at my place for something a little more... exciting."

"You're on little man."

>>23305
Grope her, then follow her lead to the chieftain.

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)14:26 No. 23319 ID: 45afb1
File 124950758889.png - (10.52KB , 426x318 , MLQ23.png )

"Come on sweety, we don't have all day. So are you gonna get up off the ground or are you gonna lie there and stare at my ass all day, not that I won't mind that."

"God damnit. I really wish I had a real penis right now."

"What was that honey?"

"I'm comeing."

"You will have time for that later with me, okay? Lets just go see daddy for now. Hee hee."

>>23306
"Don't worry, there will be plenty of time for that I think."

>>23319

This is gonna end in tears..

Also, check you still have everything, aka spellbook.

>>23319
<Uh, just a quick question... You do have the ... equipment, yes? I don't think she's going to be happy with a pelvis...>

>>23319
Okay, I know you have been intending to get to memorizing some spells, but seriously, you need to get a hold of some piece of intestine. Wrap it around your bone, and as long as she doesn't see it clearly enough, she could still think it real.

Also, what race were you originally? I ask because you can likely pass yourself off as a Kobold turned lich, which would likely make the Kobolds here more inclined to trust you.

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)14:48 No. 23348 ID: 45afb1
File 124950893062.png - (7.13KB , 426x318 , MLQ24.png )

>>23324
"I've still got it. Don't worry."

>>23327
"I do, but it's kind of an embarrassing story as to how I got it. Its not what you think it is though, it is actually a spare rib bone, and it has to do with my rival, Skeletoir... I won't go further then that."

>>23339
"I would prefer not to go into my pre-lich life, but for the cases sake, I was not a kobold."

"Sugar baby, we're here, my daddy is just inside."

"Well I guess I should go in... should I ask Jasmine to come with me or hang out here?"

>>23348
Bring her in.
Unless she was lying, then it should help.

>>23348
Wait.

Something seems off.

An assertive, sexually aware kobold, leading you to a dark hut entry? Hrm.

Try and make a bit of an entrance, maybe use some cantrips to make your eye sockets glow or some such.

Want to impress the village leader with your power, after all.

And I still recommend telling the Kobolds you used to be a kobold pre-lichdom. Doesn't really matter if it is true, just so long as they think it true.

And don't worry if you don't know much about kobolds, us voices in the Orb know a good bit about Kobolds, and could probably help you bluff your way past any questions involved.

Be prepared for an ambush

>>23348

I probably wouldn't bring her in but hey, it's your un-life, not mine.

If the crap hits the fan, remember to fire MAGIC MISSILES everywhere.

What kind of a name is Jasmine? That's not very koboldy at all!

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)16:01 No. 23410 ID: 45afb1
File 124951331859.png - (8.08KB , 426x318 , MLQ25.png )

>>23351
"Well its seemed weird unitl I heard..."
"Daddy! I'm back from fishing, and you'll never guess what I caught?"
"Is it a big one deari? I'm starving."
"Well not really, its more a bunch of bones then anything, but I think you're going to like it either way."
"Well bring it in sweet heart, don't keep an old bold waiting."
"Daddy, meet Donatio um... what did you say your last name was?"
"Good kobold chieftain, my name is Donatio Akmezzar. I would like to offer you a trade."
"A trade eh? What can a little lich like you offer me?"
"Daddy, don't tease him."
"HA HA HA! It looks like my daughter has my eyes on you Donatio. All right, I'll listen to your offer."
"I would like to offer your entire village protection in exchange for your dead."
"That is a rather hard trade to make old one. You see our ancestors are of great importance to our village. Giving away their corpses would be highly disgraceful."
"But chief I do not ask to disgrace your honored relatives, but to give their bodies one last purpose."
"...That is indeed truth old one, but simple protection is easy to break for one as powerful as you."
"What if I offer to aid your people with weekly offerings of food and supplies?"
"That would please the ancestors to know that their bodies are worth so much to our people. I accept."
"Their is... one other thing though."
"Yes? What is that?"
"I would like to take your daughter with me, to live with me in my castle."
"Well Donatio, that is not my choice, now is it my little pumpkin pie."
"Daddy, I want to go with him."
"Then it is settled."
"It has been an honor doing business with you great Donatio, and I plan to see you at the next SUPER EVIL convention?"
"What?"
"HA HA! I'm just fooling with you, now, I assume you have means of getting back to your home safely?"
"Well..."
"No worry, no worry, you need not say more. I will get you a boat to cross the river and some transportation to get you home."
"Thank you good chief. There is one more thing I wish to ask though?"
"What is that?"
"What is your name?"
"Grifblim. Chieftain Grifblim."
"Now off with you two."
"Thanks daddy!"
"Thank you chieftain Grifblim."

Well that was easier then expected.

>>23410
Right, now how to get food and supplies...
I suppose you could set up a plantation thing, but that requires some minions to set up.
I doubt that one lich's foraging, with the interruptions from Jasmine, is going to cut it.
Well, you have a week.

>>23410

Umm...Well I guess we gather the dead, get the girl and head home with our spoils then.

When we get back, start learning some spells! You got off lightly this time.

Rowan 2009/08/05(Wed)16:28 No. 23435 ID: 45afb1
File 124951490282.png - (9.08KB , 426x318 , MLQ26.png )

>>23417
"I was actually thinking about raiding a couple towns and sending most of the spoils back to the village, but your plan is ok too."

>>23418
I will probably get to that at some point. But for now, I got some unfinished business with a certain kobold.

>>23435
Rock that tower, little guy.

>>23437
Go little guy!

SZ 2009/08/05(Wed)16:52 No. 23445 ID: 4b96a7
File 124951636048.gif - (116.49KB , 290x304 , 1242487077041.gif )

>>23437

GREAT SUCCESS!