Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)14:28 No. 13377 ID: c01408
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I'm certainly going to have to become more familiar with sleeping in a dungeon.
I'm rather accustomed to having windows.

But that's not important now.
Now, it's morning.
Where do we stand?

A little to the left.

>>13377
On the ground, silly!

Now that we're up and at'em, let's go see if what happened last night was a dream or not. Go find where you buried that coffin.

Thine minions need to be looked after. See if all went allright, especially with the goblin - she seemed rather distressed. She may need some emotional support.
Give her the male attention she desires; You know how to act.

wake up your minions, time to get to work

INSPECT LAIR. ORDER YOUR MINIONS TO WORK. FIND A SOURCE OF WEALTH.

RAP ABOUT YO LIFE DAWG

Get a painting of a nice landscape and hang it up as a window replacement.

>>13390
This.

First thing's first: Get a window to the surface.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)14:35 No. 13395 ID: c01408
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>>13382
Not a dream.
The empty coffin lies where I left it.
I make a mental note to get my minions to do the next burial.

BUST OUT SOME PHAT BEATS

A busy day ahead!
Get the repairs underway and the kobolds cleaning the fortress.
If they kill themselves in the trap we're getting a refund.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)14:39 No. 13400 ID: c01408
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Someone has cleaned up the dirt tracks in the hallway, though.

SEE IF OUR MINIONS HAVE SURVIVED THE NIGHT.

RAP TO THE LIL DAWG THAT LIVES IN THAT MOUSE HOLE, YO

Check behind the canvas in your room.
Perhaps afterwards we should go groom.
Finesse is still working on the monster portal, I assume?

>>13400
1. Check behind the blood-stained tarp.
2. See to the servants.
3. Get to work.

See, thats the good thing about having minions that dont go shopping, when they die you get your pay back.

>>13401
But get dressed first, boy. Must keep up our professional appearance.

>>13404
Do what the bustin rhymes tell you.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)14:48 No. 13414 ID: c01408
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I trouble myself to take down the tarp in the throne room, but it's nothing more than a simple, deeply-stained tapestry. It hides nothing.

>>13414
Wear it as a cape.

>>13414
Hmm. Yes. It'll make an excellent cape.
See how it looks on you.

>>13414
Well, leave it down. It actually looks better, and will inspire us to replace it sooner.
What's next...
How are we doing on funds?
Go ask Finesse if she can think of any way to get rich extremely quickly. We could always resort to banditry, but there must be another way, right?
Something befitting Muschio!

>>13414
At least have the minions clean the blood off. It's unsanitary.

>>13385
This one has a good point. Although it's certainly prestigious, how does ruling a dungeon become profitable? We've spent everything on getting started, but we still need to expand.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)14:52 No. 13423 ID: c01408
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Hm.

>>13423
Nono, bloody side out.

YO DAWG, RAP ABOUT YO NEW EVIL CAPE, YO

>>13423
Excellent, go to your minions and see how they're doing immediately. No time like the present!

See how the Monster Portal's coming along, boss.

DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO LAY THEIR EYES UPON YOUR LESS-THAN-IMPOSING SLEEPWEAR.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)15:01 No. 13435 ID: c01408
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>>13424
I believe it may be a bit too bulky.

>>13435
Fine, set it aside. We'll have it adjusted later.
Go see how the minions are doing.

>>13435
Is it because of the layers? Try taking off your footie pajamas and seeing how it feels.

>>13435
COME ON

THAT LOOKS BADASS

>>13435
Capes are hazardous.

No capes.

CLOAK SELF IN BLOODSTAINED TARP
MAKE THEM ALL FEAR YOU

>>13439
Capes are indeed a highly contributing factor to many a villain's early demise. What's next, we'll start practicing our five minute monologues and designing contrived death contraptions?

>>13450
Of course.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)15:10 No. 13454 ID: c01408
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There, much better. Ready to face the day.

I decide to deposit the tapestry in the storage chest for now. I may simply dispose of it later, but until I decide on that, I'll keep it where it is.

>>13454
Enter the kobolds' room forcefully. Glare at them if they aren't already at work.

>>13454
I suppose you should make sure your underlings haven't managed to somehow kill themselves overnight.

>>13455
No no, don't be mean to them until they screw something up. Just because we're evil does not mean we are rude.

>>13458
Then how are we different from any other boss?
No union negotiations? Damn we're nasty.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)15:19 No. 13462 ID: c01408
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Entering the Monster's Quarters, I find Babrakus, who respectfully salutes. It is a gesture I do not think I will soon tire of.

>"I clean up the blood and dirt in hall and back rooms."
I ask after his comrade, to which he responds:
>"Tislomer's out trying get some meat."

The remnants of the Monster Portal have been stacked neatly in the corner.

>>13462
Clean off that chalkboard.

>>13462
Clean the blackboard, then draw a duty roster and schedule in it's place.
Then go see if Finesse is up yet.

>>13462
Draw a dirty picture of Finesse on the chalkboard when you get a chance when no one is in the room.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)15:24 No. 13470 ID: c01408
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>>13463
That's enough of that.

>>13468
Then punish the hunter bold for drawing it.

SLICE THE KOBOLD WITH YOUR BLADE AND DRINK HIS BLOOD

>>13471
It was like that when we first got here.

>>13470
Let's check on Finesse!

>>13477
No, for 'drawing' the naked Finesse. Because we're evil.

>>13470
Tell Babrakus to go get Finesse and bring her to you. Draw the dirty picture of Finesse while he's gone.

>>13480
Evil doesn't mean stupid.

As I said before, don't be rude to the hirelings unless they screw up. We're evil, not uncivilized.

>>13470
First order of business is to make money so we can hire more goons and equipment.
Use the chalkboard to list incoming ideas.
Even if he's just a damn kobold, ask Babrakus for ideas.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)15:39 No. 13495 ID: c01408
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I check the storage room, and it appears my Tinker has wasted no time in reorganizing it into a more functional workshop.
The crate that once blocked the door is now functioning as a desk, covered in tools brought by the Goblin.

>"'Morning, master. Didn't expect you so early. I'm still working."

>>13495
"Good, you're up. Have you had a chance to look at the place yet?"

FONDLE THEM TITTIES

>>13495
"What are you up to?"

>>13495
Say "How about you start working on something more important?" and pull down your pants. Then ask her how long she thinks it will take to get the monster portal working.

LUNGE AT THE UNSUSPECTING GOBLIN
TEAR OUT ITS INTESTINES AND FASHION THEM INTO A NECKLACE

>>13502
Shut up, sex drive.

WAIT---!!! Okay, enough of these sexual urges.
The woman needs some friendship to help her adjust. Make smalltalk, act close.

>>13495
Get this relationship off the ground, boss. If only to know more about your employees and inspire some loyalty. If your minions don't see you as faceless they'll be more hesitant to betray you. Plus, win their hearts and minds, and their asses are not far behind.

>>13509
Go die in a fire, sex drive.

Okay, Muschio. Let's get this up and running. Ask her what she's doing. If it's not making traps, tell her to make a cage trap for the front hall. Use that cage from the monster portal room for it.

>>13509
Sex drive is right, we need to start putting the moves on Tislomer. Have a taste of his meat when he gets back and tell him its delicious.

>>13495
As your inherent racism and distrust boss, I'm going to recommend you ignore the sexual and romantic commands and ask how long the monster portal is expected to take.

Then plan on it taking longer. Just in case the goblin screws it up (which is likely, the filthy abhuman).

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)15:51 No. 13516 ID: c01408
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"So, what are you up to? Have you had a chance to look at the place yet?"

>"Yeah, I had a look around. Kinda small, but good potential. Anyway, I had a look at the portal last night when it was still in pieces and I talked to the Kobolds a bit about it to get an idea of what kind of repairs we're looking at. That's what I'm planning for now."

>>13516
"Show me your plans. How long do you expect it to take?"

RIP AND TEAR THE GOBLIN APART
HER FLESH WILL BE DELICIOUS

>>13516
Got an estimation on how long it will take? Not that I want you to leave too soon.

Tell her that sounds good, but ask her how she is feeling personally too.

>>13518
Shut up blood lust.

>>13518
Silence your grumblings, bowels. You'll have your corn flakes soon. And some raisins if you're a good boy.

>>13518
Guys, can someone get a handle on Latent Insanity? He's been acting up a bit too much lately.

Oh, and ask how long the portal's going to be.

>>13510
What I said before. Also, I tried to get Cowardice to calm Latent Insanity down, but I haven't seen him since.

Ask if there's anything you can do to help get it up faster.

>>13528
where the hell did that tripcode come from I am not good with computer

>>13502
Now, now, my good blood lust.

Why restrict to physical pain when mental pain is so much more satisfying and evil.

I say we do more than just seduce her. We make her fall in love with us. And then... we break her heart. Horribly. Once she's served her purpose and we've found a better replacement.

What could be more Evil? Evil with a capital E.

Hey guys.
Maybe we could learn something about symbol magic from her?

>>13533
Good idea. Take a more hands-on approach to the gate and see if you can learn more about the world's arcana while you do so.
Proivded Finesse lets you. Remember, one of her terms was full control of putting up the Portal.

>>13534
Bah, she's probably going to take control of it or something. Keep a close eye on her workings, regardless of whether she lets you help.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)16:02 No. 13537 ID: c01408
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I'm getting more than annoyed at certain aspects of my consciousness. I understand priorities are subject to influence from certain drives but, for example, my inner bloodlust is so passive that there's no way it bears listening to, especially in a situation like this. I must remain within the realm of what is still practical.
So those parts should shut up, already.

"How long do you think it will take before the portal is operational?"

Finesse pauses, resting her head on one hand with a sigh.
>"That's the thing. Y'see, master, the Portal Gem powering the Monster Portal's been destroyed. It's not a component I can repair. I can piece the runes back together, but we'll need a whole new Gem."

>>13530
Bloodlust isn't after evil. He's after blood and guts.
And I saw cowardice a while back. He was curled up under the bed.

>>13537
What are the requirements to manufacture or otherwise procure a new gem?

>>13537
Where can we find a replacement?

>>13537
"Well how long until you've reassembled the runes?
And tell us more about this "Power gem"."
Looks like we're going on a trip, boys.

>>13537
"And tell me"

Lean on desk, sexily

"My dear, do you know where we can find one?"

We shall have her heart, so we may break it.

>>13538
I hope you didn't ask him why.

>>13537
Probably stole the damn thing so she could examine it. "Destroyed" my rear end.

Regardless, we can't prove anything, so ask about creating/obtaining a new one.

>>13543
Even Sex Drive thinks we should leave romance alone until we get that portal up.

>>13537
"I see. Where can a replacement be found?"

>>13543
Dramatic Evil, you and I need to have a talk later about abhumans and relationships, and why we don't have either.

We never did get a straight answer about whether monster portal monsters will be loyal to us, did we? Better ask about that after asking out how/where to get a new crystal.

>>13552
Dammit Racism/Mistrust, you're an annoying little bugger.

>>13552
That would be sex drive talking.

We must have more information. Inquire for detail.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)16:15 No. 13564 ID: c01408
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>>13540
"What are the requirements to manufacture a new gem?"

>"Oh no, master. We're not anywhere near the point where we can start making our own. Our best bet right now would be to buy a new one, but you won't just find 'em lying around shops, especially for what they're used for.

>But... I may know of where we can get one.

>There's a big-shot merchant lives in Sepia Town. Real high roller type. He's got a collection of rare stuff, and I heard tell there's a bunch of magic gems among the other goodies. Could be a Portal Gem in there. It'd be a good place to start, at least."

>>13564
We don't have the fund to be purchasing magical items yet, I would imagine. At least not yet.

>>13549
Oh fine. At least allow the building blocks to be built. Some meager flirting. Also ask what else she could build for us. Some machines of terror, perhaps? Deadly traps that torture the body until it finally dies?
>>13552
But my dear racism, this is how we shall hurt the wretched Goblin the most. We shall be sneering and looking down on her behind her back, I assure you. And we will one day deal her a fate worse than death. And then deal her death anyway. By tyeing her to a train.

>>13559
Yes well, at least I'm not openly working against the rest of us and the boss. While we're at it, weren't you supposed to be locked in the subconscious? Which one of you let him free?

>>13564
"How much would one cost?"

Current wealth: 11 gold

How are we going to get more cash?

>>13564
"Seems like we have no choice. Very well. I will venture into town. You're in charge while I'm gone.
And keep and eye on the kobolds."

>>13564
Well lets see if we can't find a way to steal a bunch of fancy gems. Leave Finesse and kobolds to their work, and let's check out Sepia Town.

>>13564
Go along to this merchant, but remember to bring weapons to protect yourself should it turn out to be an ambush.

>>13569
I'm not dumb. You locked it with a piece of paper colored gray.

Not to mention I'm not working against the boss, only /you/. Good Is Not Nice.

>>13564
How much would you estimate the cost of a portal gem would be?

WHAT WEAPONS DO WE OWN?
TAKE THEM TO THIS MERCHANT AND DEMAND THE GEM
IF HE DOES NOT GIVE IT TO US WILLINGLY, KILL HIM
IF HE DOES GIVE IT TO US WILLINGLY, KILL HIM

>>13568
Do trains even exist or are you making things up?

>>13568
>>13569
Quit pissin' around with the idea of alienating our most important minion. Not only is it a stupid damn idea, Finesse has also given NO indication she's into us, and it's a waste of time and ddistraction from what we're trying to do.

Let's pay this merchant a visit.

>>13568
I think you mean 'tying'.

I'm sure we could trade our rare unbalanced gnoll sword.

>>13570
Evil, obviously.

>>13570
See, this is why we need to make some money. Empires positively hemorrhage money, and we're going to need a lot.
We need to come up with some good schemes. Anything, really. As long as it makes us rich.
Can you guys think of anything?

>>13580
What he said.
Seriously, she seems loyal and dependable. Right now we need that more than any shape of "tang" you could dream up.

Ask her if we can temporarily cut her pay to pay for the gem.

>>13580
Bah, I've accepted her usefulness for now. We need all the help we can get, and I'm not stupid. I'm just saying, we shouldn't trust her as far as we can throw this dungeon and we DEFINITELY should not be considering relationships with her.

>>13585

HEAD TO KOBOLD VILLAGE
KILL THEM AND TAKE THEIR POSSESSIONS

>>13578
If not that, maybe we could trade some weapons for other tools?

Good lackeys are so hard to find, it seems foolhardy to simply toss one aside when we are done with them. Evil or not, good employer/employee relationships can go a long way towards stopping dissent among the lessers. Especially since a strike in the villain business generally means a horrible death for the boss.

>>13579
I don't know. We should probably ask Finesse what the most advanced bit of technology is.

Seeing as we're still wielding swords, I think I probably am.
>>13581
You are correct. I probably should not type at this hour. Oh well.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)16:24 No. 13594 ID: c01408
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I'm a little unnerved as to why my decision-making half is so set on flirting with this Goblin.
I've no desire to break her heart or otherwise torment her. It's my belief that such treatment should only be meted out to enemies, traitors, and poor workers. If my Tinker is doing a good job, it's counter-productive to punish her for it.

"How much does such a gem usually cost?"
>"I couldn't say, master. Probably a few thousand coin."

Well out of my price range.
I inform Finesse that she will be in charge in my absence.
"Get to work on what you can do for the portal. And keep an eye on the Kobolds. I'll return soon."

>>13589
For once, I agree. She is naught but an employee and should remain that way. If anything, we should be having relationships with a Volto.

>>13585
Insufficient data for meaningful answer.

Who has money who is weaker than us? (The Kobolds and Goblins are out of the question. They're our labor pool.)

>>13592
Xykon never had to put up with that shit. Just lightning bolt / animate dead.

>>13594
Fine. Money making schemes. Evil money making schemes. Now, plain murder and thievery are options, but they are lacking in classiness. We've a herbalist, so making drugs is an option. Sell them to people at town.

Or we could try kidnapping. Always a classic. Although it does run the risk of damn adventurers barging in, and we're not read for that.

>>13604
Your proposal appeals to me.
Selling drugs to impressionable kids seems an efficient low-risk way of making money.
Kidnappings will have to wait until the portal is operational, because we need some serious muscle (in case of adventurers).

>>13594

Gather your equipment and whatever we can sell and set off to Sepia town.

>>13596
You're agreeing with me? YOU'RE agreeing with ME?

Alright "Goodness," what's your angle?

>>13594
Alright, we need to steal some gold. What's the richest town nearby?

>>13615
What angle? I'm his inner goodness, I rarely have an angle.

Much as I loathe the idea of stealing, it appears to be the only way to build up wealth. We can always repay them with a benefactual rule.

>>13622
Bitch be trippin balls. We gotta smack em hoes so they stays down, y'hear?

Odds are, if we steal something too big, we'll get too much attention.
I'm sure in sepiatown, a Volto isn't something they see every day.
Such a description of one of our stature is one that will not cause any confusion.

There must be no witnesses.

First we need to check the town to see if he even HAS the gem for the monster portal. If not, we'll have to gather info for where we might find one.

If yes, fuck gathering money. We are Muschio Malto, and we will steal that gem.

I don't think any of you want to do what you say you do... I'm pretty sure, but how do I know if I'm actually sure? Do I really exist? If I don't, how do I know?

>>13629
Hush up you. This is no time to get existential.

>>13628
I agree, gathering information seems a prudent first move.
Though, robbing him may be cheaper but can we really get away with it? And we don't want an evil reputation YET. We barely have the resources to maintain the dungeon let alone fight off some would-be heroes.

>>13629
You don't exists. None of us exist. We're just bubbles in someone else's dream.

>>13622
My dear sweet naive friend, EVERYONE has an angle.

The sooner the rest of you realize this, the better off we'll all be.

Also, recommending we take that dagger to town with us, possibly concealed up our sleeve. Never hurts to have a hidden weapon on hand.

>>13642
I don't believe you.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)16:51 No. 13656 ID: c01408
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I return to my throne room and make an inventory of all my belongings, both on my person and within the dungeon. This is a rough approximation so I may have forgotten something, but on the whole, this is what I have.
I'll keep this list for further reference.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)16:52 No. 13662 ID: c01408
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With my possessions accounted for, I set out to pay the High Roller of Sepia Town a visit.
Given that I lack the funds to purchase the portal I need in the most immediate future, I may need to produce another plan.

>>13656
Take everything in the "Items" and "Curios" categories, as well as the gold. Then head to Sepia

>>13656
Well, I don't have any ideas for now, but later when we have money, we should get that box with stone and toy sword looked at. By three separate appraisers of course. Doesn't make sense for Red Fang to have had them if they aren't worth anything.

FIND THIS MERCHANT
SLICE HIS THROAT AND TAKE HIS POSSESSIONS

>>13668
I can't tell, is that Latent Insanity or Stinginess?

>>13656
I wonder what that weird egg and stone are. Maybe Finesse would know? She seems like a smart girl.

Boss, you haven't eaten in three days now. BUY SOME FOOD AT SEPIA BEFORE WE STARVE.

>>13662
Okay. You essentially have three choices. You can steal the gem, you can steal the money you need for the gem, or you can do an honest day's work to earn the gem.

Not that we're well informed on the relative value of these coins or anything, but a few thousand probably sounds like at least an honest year's work, and you'd have to rob a vault to steal enough quickly.

Just think of this merchant's store as another dungeon that you can check out before looting, and you'll be fine.

>>13677
You forgot barter. We have all kinds of weird crap that someone someone needs. We could trade that for the gem / the money for the gem.

Perhaps that scroll is valuable?
We cannot read it, but perhaps this salesman can!

It could be worth a trade.

>>13678
40 coins is enough for a kob's work without further pay being needed. I am certain our combined assets do not a thousand coins make.

>>13678
>>13681
That is not an option. That is, at most, a remote possibility. But yes, we may as well have it appraised while we are in town. Preferably by someone we are not planning to rob.

>>13681
I just bet it says something like, "There is a trap next to this pedestal."

Maybe we can propose to do some task for the merchant in exchange for the gem? Everyone has enemies, as the goblin village has demonstrated.

Muschio 2009/07/25(Sat)18:09 No. 13736 ID: c01408
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With several weapons and a handful of trinkets in tow, I set out alone towards the rough and tumble Sepia Town to the North.

It won't be far, but the walk should do me some good and help me clear my head.

>The novelty's worn off pretty quickly. I'd appreciate if people would stop the gimmick of posting as abstracted elements of the psyche now. It was entertaining once, but now it results in about 1/10th of the Bobs actually being feasible, and the rest of the time people just give themselves pointless names. The ALL CAPS FLESH-EATING voice wasn't that amusing to begin with, and certainly doesn't need the company.
>I know you're all just trying to work off the orb mechanic, but to crystallize the psyche into such drastic and abstract extremes results in a bunch of Bobs Muschio would never even consider. Further, it contributes to way too much back-and-forth between people roleplaying as specific areas of thought that doesn't really contribute anything.
>It's better to just post normally, the bits and pieces of his mind simply representing passing thoughts and brewing ideas. That's why the implementation of, say, a voice named "Brainstorm" is pointless: because every Bob is essentially already part of a manifested brainstorm.
>Let's just go back to how we used to be, and just make Bobs as you normally would for a Quest.

>>13736
Sorry, Boss.

Suggestion 2009/07/25(Sat)18:31 No. 13764 ID: ce4ac5
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>>13736

>>13736
Got it.

So... do we continue?

>>13677

Given our current situation, this is what it's probably gonna come down to. However, I think it best at this point in time to withhold judgement on exactly HOW we're going to obtain this gem until we are more aware of what conditions are like in this "Sepia Town", and what exactly this merchants wants for it.

In short, lets check things out first.

>>13736
Sure thing.

>>13809
Seconding. We need more information.

Also, Finesse described him as a "High roller," perhaps we can gamble against him for the gem? Just throwing that out since nobody else seemed to be commenting on it. Although I'm a little stumped as to what we'd wager.

>>13819
Hey guys, we should bet our SOU-
*Is shot by the others in the thread*

>>13736
Yeah it was getting pretty old.
It's fun on occasion but it gets in the way of daily business.
Should you ever feel a Muschio has really big decision to make and his psyche needs to work it out properly, just tell us and we'll be back.

>>13819
Our soul, duh.

I would suggest getting a 'feel' for the town before we approach the merchant. Scope out the places, the people, the gossip and rumours pertaining to said merchant. We need not be unprepared when we approach him, and a good leader must learn this. Plus we need to know of the potential hiding spots and escape routes we can use if the eventual decision for acquisition of the gem turns to violence and we botch it.

There is still time to turn around and have our smart girl take a look at the mysterious unidentified artifacts before we wander off to town and show them to some merchant who will try to cheat us out of our valuable possessions.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)11:57 No. 14102 ID: c01408
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After a brisk walk in the morning air, I arrive at the outskirts of Sepia Town.
The smell of the overfull gutters is pungent even at this distance.

Keep a hand in contact with your wallet at all times. We don't have much, but goddamn if we're going to lose it to some cutpurse.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)12:11 No. 14109 ID: c01408
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I approach one of the gates encircling the walled slum-city.

The ground turns to cobblestone beneath my feet as I approach the crooked palisades.

Give the man a friendly nod and head on in.

Don't engage the guard in conversation. Keep a low profile, just head on in unless he tries to stop you.

Try to look as bad ass as possible. We don't want any of the hoods thinking we're a pansy.

Perform the choreography to Beat It if you must.

>>14109
Look tough and surly so this guy doesn't flip out at you.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)12:16 No. 14114 ID: c01408
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I do my best to manage a tough facade and walk past the guard. Other than a passing glance, the man does not impede my progress into the city.

Now that I'm here, what's my plan of action?

Seek out the High Rollan guy.

>>14114
Judging by the city's exterior appearance, this is not a high society town.

Look to wherever the most elaborate, or at least well-kept building is.

If it is not the merchant's building that we seek, it is surely a building of importance, and we can go from there.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)12:24 No. 14118 ID: c01408
File 124863625052.gif - (4.22KB , 800x600 , 234.gif )

>>14116
Yes. That is why I'm here.

Sometimes I wish my consciousness were a bit more HELPFUL.

>>14118
Well, what do you think is the best place to start?

>>14118
Yo, Muschio's inner hip hop suggests you look fo' the dopest building on the block where all the playaz are headin' so you can bust out some wit!

>>14118
Travel around town a bit first, see if you can make us some sort of map, or at least list of locations in town.

>>14119
The idea is we're supposed to be doing the thinking.
>>14118
Perhaps a basic outline of the town would aid in the decision making process.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)12:38 No. 14127 ID: c01408
File 124863708454.gif - (16.89KB , 800x600 , 233.gif )

>>14119
>Well, what do you think is the best place to start?
YOU'RE the decision-makers! If I could do this on my own, I would!

>>14122
I try to get a bead on the town's layout, but the entire village is like a sprawling slum crossed over itself a half dozen times. A labyrinthine construction leaves a design made almost entirely of alleys and narrow streets, each walled by buildings wearing heavy doors. Windows are scarce, and those that exist are tightly-boarded.

Everything smells of stale waste and rotting garbage.

>>14127

Ask a local where one can find this well-off merchant.

>>14127

Ask a nearby fellow who the bigname merchants are around here. If, as Finesse claimed, this guy is some sort of big-shot, SOMEONE has to know about him.

>>14127
Have you not been evil long enough to know that when help is needed, a tavern is never too far away?
Most likely there would be some clueless fools muckin' about in there just waiting to do some menial task for pennies.

>>14132

Being as short on cash as we are, I'm not so certain paying others to do something as simple as finding a merchant is the best idea.

Approach a particular hard looking thug and tell him you're looking to 'roll high'. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)13:05 No. 14153 ID: c01408
File 124863874666.gif - (8.83KB , 800x600 , 235.gif )

I approach one of the nearby villagers and attempt a bit of conversation, though it's hampered by not knowing exactly what to ask.

>"What'cha need, big boss?"
"I'm looking for a, uh... I'm looking for a merchant."
>"Plenty'a doze 'round here."
"Well, specifically, I'm looking for... well, a well-off merchant. Um. Someone who, uh... well, I don't really know his name, but if you know anyone-"
>"S'amatter, chief? Cat got y'tounge?"

>>14153

"Somewhere where I can get some magic items?"

>>14153
Be forthright. Tell him you're looking for a merchant who deals in arcane artifacts.

>>14153
Tell him you are looking to gamble, and are looking for the high roller in this town.

>>14153
No ordinary thug can talk to you like that! threaten him with his life if he does not tell you where you may obtain rare or magical items right now!

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)13:22 No. 14176 ID: c01408
File 124863971982.gif - (9.18KB , 800x600 , 236.gif )

"Now look here, you'll watch your tongue if you know what's good for you. I'm searching for a dealer of rare and arcane goods.
A collector, a man who I can only imagine lives above the level of squalor in this town.

I'm looking for the High Roller."

The catfolk villager grins thinly.
>"Oh, sh'thing chief. I know where'a Don is. Top-class area in town. C'mon, I'll take y'to 'im."

>>14176
Keep your guard up, he might try to get you out of the public sight to rob you.

>>14176
Be wary - I do not care for the grin upon that gentleman's visage.

>>14179
>>14180
Indeed.
Watch your back Muschio.
I mean that literally, by the way. Don't let anyone skulk into your blind spots.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)13:40 No. 14183 ID: c01408
File 124864084982.gif - (24.50KB , 800x600 , 237.gif )

I would say this man is leading me down an alley, but the entire town seems to be comprised of nothing but alleys.

>>14176
Follow him. We have no other leads at the moment. Don't let your guard down, though.

In the darkest of alleys, get him into a headlock and tell him you don't like to be played with, just in case.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)13:54 No. 14194 ID: c01408
File 124864168410.gif - (25.80KB , 800x600 , 238.gif )

Another two catfolk appear, the one behind me brandishing a knife.

>"Looky here boys. Big boss here comes in wit'is finery and goes askin' about the High Roller. Y'think 'e's got some goodies on 'im?"

It's a trap. I can hardly say I'm surprised.

>>14194

You brought your sword, right? RIGHT?

CAST MAGIC MISSLE

Brandish your sword and don't hesitate in cutting these street punks down.

>>14194
CUT THE FOOLS DOWN BEFORE THEY HAVE TIME TO MOVE INTO POSITION
TRY AND KEEP ONE ALIVE FOR QUESTIONING

>>14194
"Yeah, I got a few things."
Pull out the animal skull, then break it.

"Oops, looks like a need a new one. Who'd like to see some new magic I've been playing with?"

>>14194
That cat behind the crate has an eye bandage thing going on.
Go on, hug him. You know it's the only possible solution.

Stand by for Ruby to drop in to help with her mean left hook!

If that doesn't happen, yell 'oh look, catnip!' and run the other direction.

>>14194
If you can kill Red Fang, these chumps are hardly a threat. In two swift motions, stab the one behind you, wrench your blade out, and stab or cut the one that led you here.

Unless your dagger is the only blade easy to pull out, in which case I'm not sure what to do.

If you're lucky, you'll catch them flatfooted and the last one will be a bit stunned.

>>14205
In the case that your sword isn't good to pull out, slash the one who brought you here in an upward vertical slash with your dagger, turning to face the one eyed cat as you do so.

Drop the guy who led you to them. He might be their leader and it might cause MASSIVE MORAL DAMAGE to his gangers.

With one hand, draw your sword. With the other, perform your Fire Trick.

"I suggest you rethink your chosen course of action, gentlemen."

>>14194
Punch the one next to you right in the face and get some room to draw your sword. Then mow the catfolk down, they deserve nothing better.

Punch their leader in the snout to establish dominance.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)15:08 No. 14265 ID: c01408
File 124864613679.gif - (26.94KB , 800x600 , 239.gif )

No time nor elbow room to draw my sword.
The leader goes for his dagger, and I go for mine.

He sees me make the move and tries to counter.
I'm faster.

START PUNCHING THE BODY SO THEY KNOW YOU'RE BATSHIT INSANE!

assume awesome pose

"Had enough?"

What are you, special? Kill the rest of them.

>>14265
Right off the the next one. Pin his arm to the crate and draw your sword to slay the last one.

Pin Tom's hand to the crate with the dagger, then draw your sword.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)15:15 No. 14275 ID: c01408
File 124864655182.gif - (25.97KB , 800x600 , 240.gif )

His brothers in arms don't seem to be quite as bold when their quarry fights back.
The alley is silent.

>>14275
HOT DAMN!
LOOT THAT SHIT!

You are clearly sticking out too much here.

Take the fallen one's bowler along with his other valuables.

>>14275
Clean your blade and get out.

>>14275
Make two notches on your dagger scabbard. One for GnollGuy and one for Bowler. Do a victory jig.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)15:23 No. 14288 ID: c01408
File 124864697725.gif - (25.15KB , 800x600 , 241.gif )

I take the catfolk's hat and dagger, as well as the 6 gold he has on him.

Put on the bowler and walk, don't run, away from the scene of the crime. There may be some form of authority, or at least toughs, coming.

See if there's somewhere you can get a map, or a brochure, or just find clues with signposts, as to where this jeweler might live.

>>14288
Explain how you matrix-dodged the bloodspray.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)15:28 No. 14295 ID: c01408
File 124864731154.gif - (5.20KB , 800x600 , 242.gif )

Hm. No, I don't think this hat is any more flattering than the other one I tried on.

>>14295
Does it... jingle?

>>14295
I think it looks good on you.

Let's focus on the task at hand, in either case. Navigate your surroundings in search of maps or other clues.

>>14295
not a hat person are you?

>>14295
It's not supposed to be flattering. Looking fancy marks you as a target around here.

Maybe next time you should ask another shopkeeper for the high roller. They might be slightly less likely to pull a knife on you, as they could miss a customer that way.

Slice off the Catperson's scalp and wear it as a hat.

>>14303
We actually made a profit on this "trap". We could get used to this. Asking shady people for help, being led into a trap, then killing them in self defense.

>>14307
And loot them. We can't forget that.


umm......yeah. Go back to a main alleyway and ask someone for help.


We should start wearing the hats of everyone we kill. Have like a 3-high stack of hats on. The next guy about to mug us asks where we got all the hat.
"Oh, I looted them off the corpses of the last 3 people that tried to rob me."
".......The shop is right this way"

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)15:44 No. 14316 ID: c01408
File 124864828235.gif - (12.68KB , 800x600 , 243.gif )

I follow the path the thug had been leading me down, and exiting the alley on the far side, I discover that despite his best efforts he had been leading me to the correct area.

The streets are less filthy in this district, and the buildings are high-class -- easily distinguished by their garish architecture.

>>14316
With the regal bearing of your birth, approach one of the well to do gentlemen and inquire as to the location of a trader in mystic artifacts and interdimensional gems.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)15:54 No. 14327 ID: c01408
File 124864888210.gif - (10.58KB , 800x600 , 244.gif )

I approach the nearest and finest-looking manor and address the catfolk guard that mans the door.

"Excuse me, my good man. I'm looking for the High Roller."
>"Awf course. And who myay I say is calling, nya?"

>>14327
"Muschio Malto."

Cross your arms if it feels appropriate.

>>14327
"Muschio Malto, tragic prince and budding dungeon keeper."

"Stewart H. AssumedName, complete nonentity."

>>14327
Hey Muschio
What titles have you gone by in the past? We could pose as a collector, but we hardly look it. We might say that we prefer not to identify ourselves. Dethroned price of a long forgotten kingdom?

We didn't ask Finesse what else those crystals could be used for so we could ask for it and say we are using it for an innocent purpose.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)16:02 No. 14338 ID: c01408
File 124864934890.gif - (8.95KB , 800x600 , 245.gif )

"My name is Muschio Malto. I am... a collector. I wish to speak to the High Roller."

>"As you wish! I'll go fetch the master, nya!"

The doorman disappears into the house, behind a set of lavish and impressively-large doors.

>>14338

Is there any windows nearby? If so, look into one of them.

>>14343
That would be too suspicious. Take your time. Stay cool. Those are key qualities for a BBEG. You only have one chance at this. Make it count.

Continue waiting.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)16:16 No. 14348 ID: c01408
File 124865016048.gif - (11.69KB , 800x600 , 246.gif )

The doorman soon reappears, holding the door ajar for me.

>"The master will see you nyow. Please, enter freely, nya!"

>>14348
Thank him and enter.

>>14348
It might be another trap. Stay alert.

Fucking cat.

Well, in we go.

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)16:26 No. 14353 ID: c01408
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The catfolk doorman leads me inside down a short anteroom and into a wide landing with stairs ascending. A few small glass display cases are mounted on pedestals of wood or stone, and compliment the tapestries adorning the room.

A rather large figure I can only assume is the master of the manor stands before me at the landing of the stairs.

>"Greetings, Muschio Malto. My name is Copal. What can I do for you?"

>>14353
Compliment his taste in tapestries.

Then get down to business. We're here to look at gemstones and maybe steal some, and he's not gonna hear about that second part.

I see no point in beating about the bush.

"I seek a functional Portal Gem. Where could I find one, and what price would such a thing command?"

Muschio 2009/07/26(Sun)16:36 No. 14357 ID: c01408
File 124865138183.gif - (7.75KB , 800x600 , 248.gif )

"You have very good taste in tapestries, Mister Copal."

He speaks with a broad tone, enunciating every word with intermittent yet deliberate pauses.
>"Thank you. I'm sometheeng of a collector. But you already knyew that, eef you are here."

>>14353
"I am Muschio Malto, a fellow admirer of rare and wonderful objects. I have come to pay my respects to your collection, if that would be acceptable."
After we're in his good graces, inquire about magical gems.
If we go straight for the prize he will raise his price.

We have the fragments of a portal gem. Are they worth anything to him?

Ask him what he thinks about questionable business practices and shady figures. It would be a lot easier if we could be open about why we want the gem. Be careful when asking this.

perhaps
"I have a question for you. Do you follow the law to the letter, or do you follow it only so long as it is convenient for you."

depending on the answer think up a more ... evil question to see how far outside the law he is willing to go. He would make a nice ally to find stuff for us. We get rare stuff, he gets cash. Good deal.

>>14372
The only problem with this idea is WE HAVE NO CASH. IF WE DID IT WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.

>>14386
I mean when we have cash. Right now we are just checking out what he's got.

>>14389
>Right now we are just checking out what he's got.
No. That is wrong. Right now we are trying to get his portal gem.

>>Right now we are trying to get his portal gem
>>if you know what I mean.

"I have need of a Portal Gem. How may I acquire one?"

<Muschio>takin' a divebreak
<Muschio>and a nyap I think
<Muschio>but it will continue this evening

>>14357

Indeed. My good man I am on the prowl for a gem of magical importance. I have here a number of similarly valuable objects that I suppose I could part with should you be able to help me.

Muschio 2009/07/29(Wed)11:52 No. 17037 ID: c01408
File 12488935187.gif - (16.54KB , 800x600 , 249.gif )

Copal breathes heavily and slowly, as if it is a great effort for him. Perhaps it is natural for a man of his size.

"I am Muschio Malto, a fellow admirer of rare curios and exotic treasures. I have come to pay respects to your collection."

>"How pearfectly flattering. Veesitors are always welcome in my gallery."

Copal leads me up the great stairs and into a great showroom, stocked with foreign treasures and rare items the collector must no doubt have acquired at great expense.

>"Everytheeng here is one of a kind. It has taken me many years to fill out this gallery, and I am always looking for nyew items."

>>17037
Ask questions about several of the items to show your great interest. Might I suggest, the hat, the helmet, and the poster on the back wall?

Try on Kamina glasses

>>17037
Inquire about monster portal parts, and whether or not this fine gentleman would even consider parting with a piece from his collection in exchange for monetary retribution.

>>17044
This, and try to make sure the portal gem is one of the things you ask about. But act like it's just idle curiosity; don't indicate that the gem is specifically what you're after.

Muschio 2009/07/29(Wed)12:04 No. 17060 ID: c01408
File 124889428898.gif - (15.61KB , 800x600 , 250.gif )

>"This painteeng was salvaged from the Cult of the Barbed Wheel in the Southeast, before their altar sank into the sea and they vanished from the face of the earth. Quite macabre, yes?"

"Your collection is truly impressive. This painting alone is worthy of a gallery. I wonder... do you have any magical curios to go with these? Portal gems, for instance?"

>>17051
What, like ADOM shopkeepers do when you walk off without paying? Getting your skull split open by a thrown coin really drives the point home.

Seriously, though. I doubt 11 coins will be enough to purchase a portal gem. This will require some sidequesting one way or the other, since we're not manly enough to just punch him in the face and take it.

>>17060
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>17060

Smooth.

Anyhow, while he's gone see if there's stuff you can steal. Barring that, see if you can swap anything for the junk you own.

Muschio 2009/07/29(Wed)12:10 No. 17073 ID: c01408
File 124889462833.gif - (5.31KB , 800x600 , 251.gif )

Copal looms over me. The man is gigantic.

>"Malto... you know, there was once a ruler in the south who went by that name. He was said to have a son, but they never found heem.
>Senor Malto... I know why you are really here."

>>17073
"Do you, now? Enlighten me..."

>>17073

"Then we can dispense with this little game. I require a Portal Gem. If you have one then speak now and we shall discuss compensation, but if not then do not try my patience any longer. I dislike being treated as a child in such matters. How do you know of these things in the first place?"

>>17077
Let him speak first.

Muschio 2009/07/29(Wed)12:19 No. 17085 ID: c01408
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>"Of course I know. A man of your wealth and standing has certain eempulses. And a game of chance is the best remedy there is."
He opens a hidden door in the wall. Beyond lies a smoky room, where muffled and excited voices resonate.
>"Come, Senor Malto. Stay a while, and gamble with me."

>>17085

"Lovely." Join him. We just may be able to gamble a portal gem out of him.

>>17085

Follow him into the room. Pretend to know what the game of chance is even if you don't.

Gambling is bad, mmkay?

Come on! This is gonna be SO rigged.

>>17100
Then we rig it back in our favor.

>>17100

Unless we cheat like a sonovabitch

>>17100
And we can still stab him if we lose.

Muschio 2009/07/29(Wed)12:36 No. 17112 ID: c01408
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Copal leads me into a darkened den full of incensed smoke so thick it obscures most of the open floor. A small bar is here, and a catfolk bartender serves a haggard-looking fellow who seems to be racing through glasses of alcohol at a serious detriment to his apparent health. The Collector and I sit at a small gambler's table.

>"So, Senor Malto, what would you like to bet today?"

Yeah, because stabbing rich people and taking their stuff tends to work so well in Roleplaying Games.

>>17112
"This would depend on the stakes and the game, mm?"

>>17112
OUR SOUL!!

No wait - what's in out inventory again?

>>17112

"No, no. I simply want a Portal Gem. You can ask for whatever you want should you happen to win. Now, are we playing or talking?"

>>17112

How about the sword of the late Red Fang?

Muschio 2009/07/29(Wed)12:43 No. 17126 ID: c01408
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"I suppose that depends on the stakes."
>"Senor Malto, as I'm sure you are aware, I am a High Roller. If there is sometheeng in my collection that catches your eye, seemply name it. Of course, I would expect sometheeng of value to be placed as collateral for when I win."

The man at the bar continues boozing heavily, sighing a shaky sigh between glasses.

Play the oldest game
:advicemudy.jpg:
Become a furry slave

>>17126
I seek nothing but a new Portal Gem. In return, you may name something of mine, and I will consider betting it.

>>17126

Dude. Soul. What has that fucker done for you lately?

>>17126
Bet ourselves.

We are the last of a royal line, the very definition of a rarity.

Muschio 2009/07/29(Wed)12:51 No. 17144 ID: c01408
File 124889705891.gif - (11.21KB , 800x600 , 255.gif )

"I want the portal gem in your collection."

>"Very well. It is a seemple theeng. Certainly one of my less exotic treasures. I would be willing to part with it... but what do you have to offer in return?"

The man at the bar howls with a grin.
>"COME ON, SEVEN!"

>>17144
The orb!