SOMETHING IS WRONG

What kind of villain are you? Man up, you're Satan now.

Quick, dig him up!

That's because it was, Muschie.
Not much we can do about it now. I'd say give him a proper burial, but ...eh.

You should have just drank the sleeping potion yourself, you idiot.

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)07:42 No. 12108 ID: c01408
File 124844656041.gif - (15.24KB , 800x600 , 198.gif )

Voices in my head.
Telling me I have crossed a line.
I don't know how much longer I can handle a conscience that speaks to me aloud.

Would it help if I convinced you that he was a cruel man?
Should I share tales of what he was like before I broke him?
Perhaps then you will say my revenge was deserved.

>>12108
Don't worry, you'll get over it.

Shut up and dig up the coffin.

That may help, yes. All we know of him now is the shell that came to your door searching for lost love and was murdered.
Tell us of the man who merited such a thing.

Put the Orb of Infinite Psyche in the chest so you can have some peace and quiet.

>>12108
Tell us then! Regale us.

WHAT IS DONE IS DONE. YOUR PAST LIES BURIED. FOCUS ON THE FUTURE.

>>12108

Start talking, maggot.

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)07:48 No. 12117 ID: c01408
File 124844688172.gif - (15.47KB , 800x600 , 199.gif )

Perhaps revenge should be meted out more in kind. Did I truly cross a line?
He was already broken.

>>12110
What good would it do now? I've already destroyed his life.

What are you all so upset with me for?
That I buried him or that I lied to him?

>>12117
Muschio.
Where is Linbella.

>>12117

Lied to him? You mean you DIDN'T bury the woman he loved alive?

You lied to him?

>>12117
I'm not particularly upset. I just want to hear a story~

You could probably just put the orb away, somewhere where you can't hear it, it's not like you need to make a decision on your sleep.

>>12117
That you have not shared your motive.

We're meant to be one. You the keeper of the past, us the guider for the present. If we do not work together and share, what will become of us? Share.

Not to mention, Muschio, that Linbella did nothing to you.

>>12117
Go sleep with Finesse in her room, that should get you asleep.

Dig him up.
He should be suitably broken to be brainwashed if he's still alive.

Suggestion 2009/07/24(Fri)07:55 No. 12126 ID: 8843e6
File 124844733876.jpg - (15.65KB , 170x170 , snow.jpg )

Don't fret on it dude.
You're Evil™ and burying dudes alive is right on top of the list for Evil™ cliches.
So you're golden in my opinion.

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)07:55 No. 12127 ID: c01408
File 124844734485.gif - (15.58KB , 800x600 , 200.gif )

>>12118
I did not have the heart to bury her alive, nor strike her down. She'd done nothing to me. She was a tool to get to Rungord.
And no smart man would ever destroy his tools.

I used my royal connections to send her off and have her locked away in a tower in a province the kingdom held sway over. Her every need was to be seen to, but she was also to be kept away from the world so that word would not reach Rungord Hookdon.

Perhaps her jailors have heard of my decline.
If not, Linbella Silvermoone may still be in that tower.
Waiting.

But alive.

>>12127
Oh well, more underlings. Put it on your list and go to sleep.

Then why did you bury him? You are evil, Muschio, but perhaps it is not right to be cruel.

Ok, so what did this man do that warranted such treatment?

>>12127
Perhaps we should visit her. But at another time, when our power has grown. For as you have told us, our kingdom is no more and thus you hold no power over the province. But we shall keep her in the mind.

Now tell us what your nemesis did to start all this.

She could be your mistress! Well, one of them. An evil overlord need not be constrained by monogamy.

YOU ARE DEVIOUS. YET COULD HAVE BEEN THERE A BETTER WAY TO USE THIS INFORMATION?

HOW CAN WE USE THIS SILVERMOONE-THING?

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)08:02 No. 12137 ID: c01408
File 124844777154.gif - (6.42KB , 800x600 , 201.gif )

>>12130
>>12131
Rungord was a spiteful, hateful man, and in our studies together, he visited upon me such a cruelty that I knew I had to take my revenge.
Know that it was deserved!

>>12137
You'll get used to the whole "evil" thing.

>>12137
WELL WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHAT EXACT CRUELTIES THESE WERE.

MAYBE WE CAN COPY HIM IF HIS IDEAS WERE GOOD.

All right. We believe you. Go to bed.

WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM US, PRINCE? REVEAL WHAT SECRET YOUR PAST HIDES.

Damnable wretches, shut thine yapping holes! To what use was such a man to us?! Worthless, broken, WEAK. Could you suffer to stand such a whining, wretched creature? Oh, you sound so secure, in your practiced morality in your comfort zones, but imagine dealing with that abominable thing.

To what good would he serve? What mission of ours would his existence further? At least this end of his made for a bit of amusement.

So tell me. We dig this poor bastard up, and we release him, and we let him free to be with his woman. Hah, if she still remembers such a man, trapped in her standing tower, separated from most forms of human companionship!

But say she still retains her love. You pathetic creatures would dig that man up and set him free. So, say he doesn't immediately attempt to accost us due to our betrayal of his trust. He goes to his woman. And maybe he rescues her.

And then what? Do you think ideas of revenge will not filter his head? This woman has existed in solitude, and this man denied his woman. Do you think such things go unforgiven?!

Damn this man, let him die an ignoble death, forgotten by all and with no mark to his grave! We are far too important to be bothered by such inconsequential things!

>>12147
I agree.

I still want to know what he did though.

>>12137

What could he have POSSIBLY done that would have warranted burying him alive? Do you have any idea what a terrible experience that must be? Trapped alone in a tiny box, left with nothing to do but scream until the oxygen depletion causes you to suffer a slow, painful death by asphyxiation? Have you any idea of how that must feel. No man should deserve to die that way, evil as he may be.

You have to set things right.
You have to bury her alive, too.

>>12137
Fine then, Muschio. Tell us what it is he did, or bury her alive as well.

>>12151
Damn it what part of US BEING EVIL do people not get?

We WANT him to suffer. Our goal is to be on the level of the Devil here, a guy who tortures people for all eternity. I want to know what he did, his fate might have been too merciful.

>>12152
FAIR ENOUGH.

>>12137
Deserve's a rather judgmental term. Clearly, he did not kill you, so you have done more than get even. He also probably didn't make the love of your life disappear for a decade, sending you into a spiral of torment and loathing which has consumed your life whole.

Was he responsible in some way for your father's usurpation?

>>12158
He deserved it because he was not us.

Anyone aside from Muschio is an enemy. Even our own minions.

Learn this, Muschio, and learn it well. While you walk the path of the villain, no one is a friend. Everyone is an enemy, a competitor.

You will have power, but you will always be alone.

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)08:19 No. 12161 ID: c01408
File 124844879579.gif - (13.72KB , 800x600 , 202.gif )

FINE! I shall recount the tale once more!

This was some years ago, when we were students with some others.
I was giving a speech on how to re-evaluate the civil engineering within the kingdom to create a more self-sufficient aqueduct system.

I had just finished speaking on this topic which I had researched for WEEKS.

And then it happened.

"Does anyone have anything they would like to add to consideration?

Ah, yes, Rungord. Go ahead."

>>12156

Even evil has standards.

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)08:21 No. 12165 ID: c01408
File 124844889844.gif - (11.44KB , 800x600 , 204.gif )

OH, THE IGNOMINIOUS MEMORIES OF IT ALL!

THAT LAUGHTER STILL HAUNTS ME TO THIS DAY!

We should dig him up and nurse him back to health. Shower him with praise and love... then, when he is dependent on us, we betray him... some fitting novel torture... take him to the bring and save him again.

Let him alternate between love and hate, let him curse us in one breath and praise him in another. Let him long for a death that never comes.

IT MATTERS NOT WHO HE IS OR WHAT HE DID, WE ARE MUSCHIO AND PEOPLE WILL LIVE OR DIE AT OUR WHIM.

...GWAHAHAHAHAHA
You exiled his love and buried him for that?
OK you aren't a sissy villain Muschio you ARE a bastard.

Muschio. Never think of this again. If you ever are motivated by something this damned petty ever again, I do not wish to know of it. This is hardly a befitting tale for one of our stature.

I will forget this. This man was simply an inconvenience and it entertained us to end him in this fashion.

>>12165
What a dick. He totally deserved it.

>>12165
That son of a BITCH.

You are correct, sir. He has slighted you and deserves the worst punishment you can imagine.

You've done well, young villain. I no longer have reservations regarding our chances of success.

IT WAS MERELY RIGHT THAT IT SUFFERED AND DIED FOR THE INDIGNITY AND HUMILIATION IT INFLICTED UPON THE DESTINED RULER OF THIS WORLD.

LET IT BE A WARNING TO OTHERS. INSULTS ARE TO BE REPAID A TEN THOUSANDFOLD.

>>12165

...You did all that to him because he blew a raspberry at you?! What the hell is WRONG with you?!

>>12173
WE ARE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE PRINCE. AND WE ARE WHAT IS RIGHT.

>>12173
We want to become the Devil. That's what's wrong with us.

Anyway... this seems to have been a fitting enough punishment. Just.

It appears that we are in agreement then. The matter is passed, the man is dead, or good enough for such a fate, and we have no complaints of such things, minus certain nagging voices.

Might we slumber then? I did plan on accomplishing things of import on the morrow.

I can't believe I have to share space in this glass ball with the likes of you...

Become aware that you are a petty monster, resorting to torture and murder for minor slights.

Whether that's a problem is up to you.

>>12177
Hey hey hey! As Muschio's repressed Sex Drive I'm probably the least listened to one here. Don't YOU complain, conscience.

>>12177

Get used to it, 'friend'. I plan on guiding us along a great journey, a great and long journey, and I imagine we'll have quite the bit of time to share together.

Now rest. Shshsh. Quiet. Peace. Now is a time of rest, let such petty worries go. We have much to do.

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)08:31 No. 12182 ID: c01408
File 12484494657.gif - (15.68KB , 800x600 , 205.gif )

YES! YOU ARE RIGHT!

The man deserved what happened to him for that ignominy!

In fact -- perhaps I was too lenient!
Yes indeed, this punishment is not fitting at all! He should not die in the cold and quiet!
He should be made to live, and suffer the taunting laughter of the very one he tormented! ME!

And every day I shall hold over his head the fate of his lovely Linbella Silvermoone, locked away in a tower and pining for love, until he cried and begs for my mercy!
And every day, when he asks of her, I shall blow a raspberry at HIM!

HAHAHAHA!

>>12182
Yes! Fabulous! Go see if he's still alive!

Oh god, we're serving a 5-year-old with a god complex and a funny nose.

Jesus Christ man. As your deeply buried goodness that is utterly appalling. He... blew a raspberry at you? And you locked away his lover and buried him alive? He was a kid! You were a kid! Kids do things like that!

>>12182
I thought you said he was dead?

>>12181

Are you kidding? I need to make sure we don't get ourselves killed. What would you all do without the only rational-thinking voice in the lot of us?

>>12182

...And I can't believe I'm supposed to be a part of YOU.

>>12182

Oh, for the love of...

No matter. I won't try and talk you out of it. But please, have the sense to realize that the act of digging this bastard up is far below your station. You have minions, make them go about this ridiculous task.

I'll leave the dealings of this man to you other fellows, I cannot stomach the existence of such a worthless worm myself. I shall return when my presence is required.

Oy. Oy, boss.
Before you go out there check up on Finesse.

>>12179

Ha ha! You think YOU'RE the one who is IGNORED?

>>12182
Oh yes, but why restrict yourself to only mental torture?

Representing your Blood Lust, I say we see if we can't bleed him in the most painful way, but only a little each day so he stays alive.

BRING YOUR BLADE, SO THAT YOU MAY SEPARATE ITS HEAD FROM ITS SHOULDERS SHOULD THE NEED ARISE.

>>12191
If I had my way Lil' Muschie would be all 4 inches (no need to be ashamed Boss) inside Finesse's Toolbox by now.

Muschio, when you DO dig the poor chap back up, remember to be a gentleman about it. Give him some tea. We can't have our enemies thinking that we're a bunch of savages, can we?

>>12193
Oooh! Good idea!

Best bring the Kobolds too. Drag him by his hairs to a cell built in his honor. He shall hang upside down from it, and then we shall use our blade to make cuts in his feet and bleed him a slow portion while we taunt him!

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)08:41 No. 12198 ID: c01408
File 124845006652.gif - (17.16KB , 800x600 , 206.gif )

WHAT THE FUCK

>>12198
"You passed my test! Now, if you behave and serve me well I shall tell you the location of your love."

RETRIEVE YOUR SWORD. YOU KNOW WHAT MUST BE DONE.

Oh, the poor chap! Quick, get some tea and crumpets!

>>12198

ZOMBIE

RUN MOTHERFUCKER

Congratulations, mortal. By digging your way to the surface you have proved you are fit to serve me.

>>12198
KOBOLDS! COME! TIME TO EARN YOUR PAY!

>>12201
GET OUT
THIS ORB ISN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THREE DAPPER GENTLEMAN

>>12198
HE STUDIED UNDER PAI MEI!
GODDAMN HE IS GOING TO EXPLODE YOUR HEART
(fuck Finesse before going into that long night)

>>12198
Get sword! KILL AND KILL AGAIN

>>12198

SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCT OVERIDDING DESIRE FOR JUSTICE.

KILL HIM!

End dream sequence.

Nevermind. I like this chap after all. That determination, that drive, digging his way out of an earthen grave with his bare hands!

Muschio. I changed my mind. This chap may not be completely useless to us after all. The question, then, is what to do now?

Oh, survival takes foremost priority. He is physical superior to you, judging from his frame. Get out and stay out of his arms reach as you speak with him.

"I know where Linbella is! She yet lives!" Say it! Say it man, I don't care how. So long as that buffoon has the slightest hope that his love is still alive, he'll be putty in your hand.

Gauge his reaction! And say this loudly, must I remind you the value of having lives at your disposal?

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)08:49 No. 12213 ID: c01408
File 124845058144.gif - (7.51KB , 800x600 , 207.gif )

>"Muschio, my old friend! I heard!
>Linbella -- she lives! She LIVES! And she loves me still? O Glorious world!

>Muschio Malto, on my honor, you have given me cause to live again this day! I can see now why you went through the effort of putting me in that coffin! To escape from death within life, I must cast off the shackles of my woe and seek my true love again! You always were the philosophical type!

>You must have spared no expense with that dramatic reveal! Truly more a show of love than simply telling me of Linbella when I first showed up on your door!

>With your guidance, I am off! I must seek my love once more!

>O, my sweet Linbella! I am coming for you!

...

what

Once again, Muschio, your attempts at evil are foiled.

>>12213

"Um...you're welcome."

Before he leaves, give him a sip of tea and a crumpet. The poor bloke must be starving after his escape from that coffin.

...HEARD? FROM WHERE?

IT HAS PENETRATED OUR THOUGHTS. KILL HIM NOW.

>>12217
Drug the tea with sleeping drugs. Our Herbalist Bold probably has some. Then we can torture him.

>>12213
"Ah, yeah, sure - don't mention it. How did you dig your out of the coffin, I am curious?"

You're crazy Muschio. Go silently back to sleep.

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)08:54 No. 12222 ID: c01408
File 124845084794.gif - (14.99KB , 800x600 , 208.gif )

>O Glorious Day!"

Try to not mention his valuables and hope he forgets about them, shoo shoo, the plan to mock him every day would not turn out particularly well anyway.

>>12213

You know, I'm not quite certain how to react here. This man is truly a greater fool then I guessed. His eyes are so damned full of-- something. Ugh. Disgusting.

Fine then. Cheer, you souls. The man yet lives and he is full of cheer. Gods this is disgusting. If you're all quite done, can we get on with this?

And Muschio, must you speak to us aloud? It may have worked in your favor this time (if one could call it that), but let's remember that such things may hinder us in the future.

>>12222
Back to bed.

Wish the chap a fond farewell.

WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE FOR? IT IS MAKING ITS ESCAPE!

TOO LATE. REMEMBER TO DIG DEEPER IN THE FUTURE. AND OBTAIN A SOURCE OF STURDIER COFFINS.

*facepalm*
Not as planned.

That went about as well as could be expected.

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)08:58 No. 12235 ID: c01408
File 124845109325.gif - (8.13KB , 800x600 , 209.gif )

NO!
THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!
I'M GOOD ONLY BY ACCIDENT!

>>12235

Whatever you say, Chief.

Go back to bed.

Muschio you fail so hard

you even fail at being evil

>>12238
not that that's a bad thing

Tsk tsk, my good man, you never WERE good at this evil thing... Why don't we have those spiffy tea parties anymore?

I know your still evil boss... still, perhaps we should FEAST ON THE FLESH OF ONE OF OUR MINIONS.

You know, just in case people forget.

>>12239
Oh shut up.

>>12235

I have an idea! How about you TRY to be good, but you will fail so hard you will become a horrible evil person!

RETURN TO QUARTERS. KEEP SWORD WITHIN ARM'S REACH. REST. WE HAVE MUCH TO DO TOMORROW.

>>12235
COME BACK HERE YOU INGLORIOUS KNAVE!
I WILL SEND YOU TO YOUR GRAVE!

>>12243
Shut up. Go away.

>>12235
MAN. WE MUST BE PISSED. NO SLEEP AT THE MOMENT.

GO OUT AND SEARCH FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE OUR ANGER OUT ON.

Leave him. He scorned you for the praise of his peers. He will die alone and ignored.

Muschio, you damned idiot, you're trying too hard now. Let it die, this is over. Can you justify the expenditure of any more energy on this fruitless endeavor?

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)09:04 No. 12257 ID: c01408
File 124845144943.gif - (14.17KB , 800x600 , 210.gif )

FINE.

>>12255
THE WELL-SPOKEN ONE IS CORRECT. THIS IS NO LONGER OUR PROBLEM. LET IT GO.

Prove your evilness. Go give Finesse a hug. AGAINST HER WILL!

>>12257

Go back to bed, Chief.

>>12258
Oh shut up, sex drive.
Muschio, let's get some sleep. You can't overlord if you're tired.

>>12262
>>12264
I like they way they think, boss.

YO YO MUSCHIO
YOU GOTTA BUST A PHAT RHYME ABOUT HOW YOU'RE FEELIN NOW, YA DIG, DAWG?

>>12277
(depressing charlie brown theme plays in background)

>>12277
Come, there are other fish in the sea. Other fish to be gutted and eaten.

Cheer up, Muschio. Our reign of terror has just begun, we will get him, his lover and everyone he loves in time. Patience is the key to true evil.

*sad trombone*

Muschio 2009/07/24(Fri)09:10 No. 12283 ID: c01408
File 124845179957.gif - (4.65KB , 800x600 , 212.gif )

I can't sleep.

>>12283
Awwww

That's because there's more instability and confusion in your heart than ever.

Oh, what will we do with you.

Good night, prince.

>>12277
Remember this day well, Muschio. For only the most wise and carefully laid plans will come to fruition. An evil overlord must always be ten steps in front of his enemies. You must trap your enemies within an infinite web of trickery. Only then will you be ... Master.

Luckily your minion has prepared for you a potion which sends the imbiber into a deep sl-OH WAIT

>>12283
I'd get like some sort of pillow and padding to cover the desk with, chief.

>>12339
I hears goblin boobs make good pillows.
Maybe use that bloody tarp for a bedding.

>>12375
What's that? Cut Finesse's goblin boobs off and skin her to make a tarp?

>>12377
No. We just fuck her and GET IT OVER WITH GODDAMN

>>12379

Actually guys, I would seriously advice against shagging Finesse or anything else for a while.
I think Weaver's been taking influences from Reaver, and we all know how Raital turned out.
BITCH BE TRIPPIN BALLS -kinda crazy.

So no goblin-tang tonight, yes?

>>12380
I actually don't want Muschio to bother with romance at all, or at least not for a long while.

He's got more important things to do.

I think the difference is Muschio can probably whip a nerd goblin in a bout of fisticuffs.

>>12385
What if she builds a ROBOT SUIT?

WHAT THEN?

>>12388
Its a five room dungeon, where is she going to hide it!

>>12389
Other side of the monster portal. Or, make the monster portal into a transforming robot. Or under the garden. etc.

You need a classy vice to indulge in, Muschio. Nothing too impairing. Maybe something like... collecting pottery. Or statues. Or partaking in some sort of artistic engineering endeavor.

>>12992
Or gathering a harem of nonhumans.

I know where we could start.

>>12283
This is hilarious.
You're either going to be the best satan ever or the worst.

>>13042

Eh i think he'll be fine.

>>13046
I think he is gonna end up like Drew the lich.

>>13057
I hope not. Fuck that shit.

Suggestion 2009/07/25(Sat)01:41 No. 13092 ID: ed469a
File 12485112826.png - (81.79KB , 1000x1000 , blueprint.png )

Here's another version of the fortress expansion plan.

>>12992
And yes, we should probably include a dedicated room to said vice, once we figure out what that should be.

For a vice: How about something artistic. Painting, perhaps, or sculpting. But remain unscrupulous as to what constitutes "paints".

>>13092
Let me guess. You like playing Evil Genius as well?

>>13098
Well, I suppose. Dungeon Keeper is better though. The whole 70's spy movie theme is kinda off-putting to me.

CHECK BEHIND GODDAMN TARP

>>13094
Actually, I'm liking this idea more and more. We can coat the place in murals and frescoes and shit.

ENGRAVE THE WALLS WITH A MYRIAD HORRORS UNIMAGINABLE BY LESSER MINDS.

PAINT THE WALLS RED WITH THE BLOOD OF OUR AMBITION.

>>13168
It'd be a bitch to draw, but that issue could actually be sidestepped by allowing players to submit art, and using that as textures.

I'M A GENIUS!

Suggestion 2009/07/25(Sat)11:51 No. 13199 ID: f95743
File 124854790928.jpg - (30.50KB , 480x601 , yogsothoth.jpg )

GAZE UPON THE EYE OF THE ABYSS AND TREMBLE WITH DESPAIR AS YOUR FEEBLE MIND BECOMES UNRAVELED AT THE TERRIFYING, BEAUTIFUL TRUTH OF EXISTENCE.