How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/09/13(Sun)22:10 No. 44264 ID: 6faa8c
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Really, now, I know you can be a little passive agreesive, but is this totally neccesary?

>>44264

Sorry boss I was washing my hair.

How big is the new place? Are we ready to move onto Tan Tan?

hey, I'm here now

even though your threads REALLY don't fit my schedule

what's up!

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/09/13(Sun)22:23 No. 44282 ID: 6faa8c
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>>44274
We're IN Tantan, but if you mean get moving in on the scene, yes, I would say we are totally prepared.

>>44275
>What's up?

Well, during construction, some untribed Orcs showed up. I tried my mind-powers on them too... and there's a disturbing trend showing up! It seems the beings here are too independant to be controlled. I have to actually... earn their trust. The hard way. However, the nearest Orc tribe is rather reasonable and I deal with them on a rather regular basis: I give them stone and obsidian I quarry out of my construction efforts, and they give me some workers. They call themselves the Gnashing Teeth Clan, and they are the nearest and friendliest clan.

>>44282

There's the easy way and the hard way to earn orcs trust.

The hard way is making a pact with them, getting their loyalty, and making sure they follow through.

The easy way is to stomp in and kill the lead orc, and demand yourself HEAD ORC. Challenge any to dispute you.

>>44282
well, seems like a reasonable deal. offer them spots on your raiding crews.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/09/13(Sun)22:44 No. 44316 ID: 6faa8c
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>>44295
>Kill the head Orc.

Bad news. Head orcs are low-level Psions... or at least they detect as such. It seems even they don't notice it. Normally this would be no problem, but an outsider like myself slaying an Orc leader may or may not be a good idea. It's a very bad idea to anger Orcs...

As for the head of the Gnashing Teeth, his name is Haru-Umda, or, The Great Lion.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/09/13(Sun)22:46 No. 44319 ID: 6faa8c
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>>44310
This... this is a good idea. I think I'll go see Big and Ugly right away. Thanks.

>>44319
Well, enough floating around here.

I'm not going to float around here forever... Who should I bring along?

((Select ONE SPECIAL MINION [Crying knight or Priest] and a force of up to 4 creatures.))

>>44324
I say a priest, two berzerkerthumpers ('cause they're so cool, and we have two) and two diceys. sound good?

>>44324
Crying Knight
two of each diceys ant thumpers, the highest level ones.

Lets show both our strength and how we showed our superiority to a previous foe. Strong show of force and brutality, establishes us as what we are/

>>44348
well, crying knight works too. really, either one.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/09/13(Sun)23:30 No. 44358 ID: 6faa8c
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>>44348
Most of my dealing having been in proxy with these folk (with the Priest) I decide it's time they saw my true form. I re-integrate my spiked wing claws, and put my old robe on. It's time for diplomancy!

I take the Crying Knight, two zerkerthumpers, and two bone-armor Diceys (by virtue of them being more imposing) and set out. We arrive very quickly, and are quickly questioned by the nearest guard. I'll translate into the language you all use.

"HALT [demeaning word likening subject to a half-finished axe]! What is your business with the Gnashing Teeth Clan!?"

Rude little... it's all I can do to not blow its head off...

>>44358
we come to discuss blood and battle with their leaders. gestuculate as such crudely with their primitive language.



(also, Imma sleep soon, sorry for leaving you with fewer posters.)

>>44358
Tell it you are here to speak with their strongest, their leader, their warmaster, and if it attempts to stop you, you will crush it to show your strength to the leader, and only continue on. Their death will serve no purpose. So let us through.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/09/13(Sun)23:51 No. 44379 ID: 6faa8c
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>>44373
The guard shows some pause, and guffaws.
"Haw! Haw! Haw! If dat worked fer evvry intrudah we wouldna have a Bo-"

*SPLAT*

Shut the fuck up and let me through. Part of me admires the bravery of these creatures and another detests their apparent stupidity.

>>44379
Well, continue in, past the corpse of the guard. Feel free to drag your robe through it, to show that slaughter and bloodshed are not in any way distasteful to you.

And if you can bulk yourself up under the robe to look larger and more muscular, that would probably help your image with the orcs too.

>>44379
haha stupid guard.

anyway, as soon as we get the next orc, tell him we're here to see his leader.

also that the last guy who tried to stop you from seeing their leader is dead, and they should really clean that up.

or give the body to us. we could use it.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/09/15(Tue)20:59 No. 45202 ID: 6faa8c
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I decide to let my honor gaurd eat him. According to Priest, it's what Orcs do with thier dead, holding a lavish ceremony with the body spiced and seasoned wonderfully and worked into the party meal.

Haru-Umda is much bigger than anticipated. And is that a throne of bones?!

>>45202
"So you are the [Word meaning person in charge of a clan or large stronghold, respectful] of that cave north of here. The Hew-Man who traded with us was quite generous with the rock. We managed to build a new watchtower to replace the one we lost a year ago. My thanks go to you."

"You aren't angry about the gaurd?"

"He stupid. Get what he deserve."

"I see."

"So, little [Word meaning equal in politics], what can this humble Orc do for you?"

>>45230
We are new to these lands, and would like to know which clans nearby might provide a good battle- we would also like to ask if your troops would like to come along for the raiding. I would say there's good loot, but... again, new to the lands, don't know how rich nearby clans are.

>>45297
"Huh. Well, I surpose I can tell yer about the surroundan clans."

He pulls a map from his throne's skull, and hooks one end on his axe and the other he pulls out so it unrolls.

"Dahrectly south of us is the Gnoll clan of the Ascendant Claw. Dey be right cunnin', but weaker than us, reliant on traps an' trickery. Tricks of the diplomatic sort too. They'd as soon write a treaty as stab yer in the back. Sons of bitches the lot of them. Literally. Although a few do break off and do dere own ting."
"East o' dem is the Bloody Skulls, a kobold tribe we regularily trade with and help defend. They produce a lot of armor, even if it is somewhat shabby, they make it on the cheap. They are less fighters an more tradesfolk. Takes a lot of work for that sort to survive out here."
Finally...
"To der south-west we have the Sightless Eye clan. They be a group of wild gobbos, and they're all blind as a bat. But sweet mother of Krog, they are strong. One of them is like fightin' two of us, and it's like they can hear an ant crawlin a mile away and smell the wildlife in a mile radius."

He rolls up the map. "South of the 'bolds, I've heard is where the Dorfs of the Broken Anvil sit, an' I'd beleive it. There's a small mountain range there."

"Now, who you wanting to be fightan? Deppendin on yer awnser we may support you or stop you right 'ere."

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/09/15(Tue)23:28 No. 45309 ID: 6faa8c
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<might have to zoom here.>

>>45307

It sounds like nobody likes the gnolls anyway, they're assholes.

Get everyone to ally against them and kill them; for double points, use the newfound allies you intend to destroy to take the larger number of risks and then backstab them immediately.

I like gnolls. :(

Gnoll!1u4YNSY0gk 2009/09/16(Wed)04:01 No. 45380 ID: f2de2f
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>Gnolls weaker than orcs

>>45380
This gnoll illustrates an important point.

Gnolls aren't just weaker than orcs, they are dumber too. Also they smell bad.

guys, I say we go for the dorfs. we'd have to plow through the gnolls or kobolds first though- which do you guys feel like?

>>45396
>>45377
I put forth that it seems like everyone seems to hate the Gnolls. They are not strong like the Goblins, and they aren't helpful, like the Kobolds.

"So why are they still around?"

Haru-Umda ponders the question, briefly. "Because dey ain't the only Gnolls in Tan-Tan. Or, rather, because the Gnolls, while being duplitious arseholes, look out fer dere own. There are at least five or even six tribes of them, each of them with constant contact with the others." he sighs. "Funny that you mention them, though. Methinks they might stop with the politics altogether and start destroying tribes outright."

Interesting. So the Gnolls are similar to myself: Untrustworthy, deceitful, willing to use sheer numbers and force... as well as brutalize relatively innocent folk. Hm.

"If you were to destroy the Gnolls from this land, strange one, I would pledge my tribe to you until my dying day."

Woah, where'd that come from?! Still, I understand why... It's clear the Gnolls know what they're doing and it's only a matter of time before they run rampant. Another thought strikes me:
Orcs reproduce with single children.
So do Dorfs, Goblins, Humans, and Halflings. This leaves the only litter-makers as Gnolls and Kobolds.
Meaning that in even one or two generations, Gnolls outnumber the others pretty well. The fact that they work together...

this is starting to get a little intimidating!

>>45765
More children is more biomass.

If by intimidating you mean delicious, I agree completely. now let's go and foul their fields with a locust-type bug, and force them out raiding to supply themselves. and, when the raiders are out, we sack the delicious women and childrens.

>>45766
This is an interesting proposition. The Gnolls sound like they prefer defensive tactics, such as pitfalls, traps, ambushes, and the like. Forcing them into military action where they must strike decisively...

...And then hitting them while their defenses are weak as an eggshell?

Hoo, hoo, hoo. I like it.

One problem. I only know where this one tribe is... and the others will jump to save their comrade.

>>45768
capture small group of gnolls

intensive mind rape

sick gnolls on goblin warband in a clear sign of aggression

oh crap, it looks like their allies are now pretty busy, between you, the goblins, and the orcs.

>>45769
I might be able to manage a small group as that... Maybe. As I said before, the creatures of this place are exceptionally resistant to my controlling power.

So the current plan is:

>Steal Gnolls
>Convert
>Get them to attack Goblins
>start a mini-war there
>locusts, salt their feilds, etc
>force them into raiding
>destroy camp
>wash rinse repeat for the others

Correct?

>>45770
sounds about right.

or, instead of converting a small group of gnolls, you could make creatures that look like gnolls. doesn't really matter.

also, yes, repeat as necessary until gnolls are gone. feel free to start multiple mini-wars at once, if you find more opponents than the goblins to send them at.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/09/21(Mon)00:04 No. 48675 ID: 6faa8c
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>>45820
That's it! I shall obtain a single Gnoll and simply clone it, making a small army to assault the Goblins! Control is no issue when they are mine from the very beggining!

>>48675
ALRIGHT

For this operation, I shall use only my own minions. It is far too delicate to trust to Orcs, and I want them to know as little as possible about my abilities before they are sworn to me.

Now... how to inform Haru-Umda of our plan without telling too much?

Make sure the gnolls are actually weak. The only gnolls I'm familiar with are actually stronger and faster than orcs. If that's the case, you should use them while you're getting your Saruman on.

>>48680

Don't, doofus. Get him in on your plan AFTER it's started; aka "my scouts show that they are weak, it is time to strike." If he has any sense at all he will probably have his own men watching things...

Although consider: The gnolls are not unintelligent. They may realize that these gnolls are fake and try to diplomacize their way out of it.

The only real way to prevent this is to completely clusterfuck them with a rapid-fire blitz of this plan and target the most intelligent leaders in their band.

>>48675
>>48684

Might I suggest creating an ASSASSIN unit?

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/09/21(Mon)00:34 No. 48686 ID: 6faa8c
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>>48682
Orcs are the strongest, physically, of the Tan-tan races, with special exceptions. Let me draw you a chart:
At the bottom lie the Kobolds.
Then the Goblins.
Then the Gnolls.
Then the Orcs.

>>48685
>Assassin Unit

A well-placed Dicey performs admirably in terms of silent takedowns.

But yes. We first instill Chaos, by assassinating the head of that clan... and make it look like a Goblin did it.
Then we send fake Gnolls out to attack the Goblins.
Wars are easy things to craft when genetics are your toy~!

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/09/21(Mon)00:51 No. 48688 ID: 6faa8c
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I shall send a single Dicey to take care of the Gnoll tribal leader. You, my orb, will direct him. I shall take the Gnoll sample.

!#@#!%$#$!%@^@!&^!*&@
Ting.

Ssss.
Direct.

Stone Wall. Stone huts. Do not like stone, hard to cut. Easy climb. Hard cut.
Must cut special Gnoll without cutting other Gnolls.
Must cut special Gnoll without being seen.

Direct?

>>48688
Is there any special reason this is not being done under cover of darkness, when most of them are asleep?