Guns for Hire Minions

Descriptions of the minions of Armas Laine in the quest Guns for Hire, particularly those under the semi-direct control of the player base.

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Most Worthless Minion run by Your Name Goes Here Fool

Appearance: Generic and underdeveloped Date of Birth: {{{Date of Birth}}} Soul: Soulless bastard Background: Russian Black Operations Army Strengths: Shooting people, punching things, drinking prodigious quantities of vodka Weaknesses: Being a fragile, squishy mundane in a nasty, supernatural world Languages: Russian, English, Turkish Work History: Armas v. Blackbeard: Raiding Party ($0) Mafia v. Nazis I: Clean Sweep ($1500) Triads v. Yakuza: Golden Guard ($1250) Mafia v. Nazis II: Electric Snafu ($5263.16 + $3000 bonus) Equipment: AN-94 Secondary weapon(s) or item(s) Russian military gear Formal wear Elegantly tailored and rifle-concealing jacket Cash from jobs Activities: {{{Activities}}} Description: Insert absurdly detailed personality and history description here

Minion Profiles

Put your individualized minion's profile here. Be sure to include any unusual equipment and what missions they've been on, as well as any other unique details.

The Burned Gun run by The_Falcon

Appearance: 5'3", Black hair usually bound up in a bun or ponytail, dark brown irises. Date of Birth: {{{Date of Birth}}} Soul: Unseen Background: Russian Black Operations Army Strengths: Gun expert (pistols), standard alcohol tolerance, minor experience in a variety of martial arts Weaknesses: Bad liar, Arsonphobia(large) Languages: Russian, English, Turkish Work History: Armas v. Blackbeard: Raiding Party Mafia v. Nazis I: Clean Sweep Triads v. Yakuza: Golden Guard Mafia v. Nazis II: Electric Snafu Equipment: AN-94 1 TT-33 + 3 Extended Mags 1 Heckler & Koch HK4 1 Heckler & Koch P7 K3 1 Heckler & Koch USP 9 left handed 1 Heckler & Koch USP 9 right handed Russian military gear Formal wear Elegantly tailored and rifle-concealing jacket $9,624.27 in pay (first three jobs combined) Activities: {{{Activities}}} Description: Zhenya is a short woman with a naturally calm, quiet demeanor. She enjoys reading and classical music and herself plays the violin quite well. A good problem solver and likes to think outside of the box when planning time comes. Dabbles in a wide variety of martial arts, though not reaching very far in any other than what she learned in the military. Is a pistol nut and would love to collect a representative of every pistol on the face of the earth. Can rattle of pistol specs without seeming to stop and think. Zhenya is terribly afraid of fire due to a childhood experience where her house burned down. She can handle herself acceptably with small ones (matches, candles) without showing much anxiety, but much bigger(campfires and up) and she will start to freak out. This, among other things stopped her from learning how to cook. She is also a terrible liar as she cannot do so without smiling or looking away.

Satai
Heritage: Russian
Languages: Russian, English, Turkish
Occupation: Minion of Armas Laine
Affiliations: Armas Laine
Appearance: 5'10", dark brown hair, average build leaning toward fast over strong, Siberian facial features and skin coloration.
Capabilities: Shooting people, drinking prodigious quantities of vodka, tinkering with electronic hardware, setting traps, building and flying RC vehicles
History: Satai is of the opinion that this whole fighting things that can end him with a wave of their hand sucks, and all the more so when they are trying to eat his face. In fact, he doesn't even like fighting things that can shoot at him normally. His idea of how to kill someone right is to use a car bomb. Mines? Great. Grenades also good, grenades+tripwire traps are even better. Those flying drones that shoot missiles that the Americans pilot around like video games to kill hapless enemies in countries they want to abuse while sitting back and drinking soda- where the hell can he get one? His military skills and hobbies strongly reflect these preferences; he puts significantly less emphasis on melee training in his personal regimen, and more on effectively designing, building, and setting traps both manufactured and improvised, and on tooling around with scratch-built electronics with a particular emphasis on RC toys.
Equipment: AN-94, detpack, several HE grenades and tripwire triggers, Russian military gear, formal wear, elegantly tailored and rifle-concealing jacket.
Notes: This minion's puppet strings are sporadically and largely incompetently pulled by Ironybot.

Vladimir Maksimovich Volkov
Heritage: Russian
Languages: Russian, English, Turkish
Occupation: Mercenary, currently employed by Armas Laine
Affiliations: Armas Laine
Appearance: 6'5", 322lbs, light brown hair, perpetual five o'clock shadow, green eyes, heavyweight build
Capabilities: Natural Shotgun Surgeon (as Bob termed it), explosives, basic firearm maintenence, basic metallurgy and metalworking, massive alcohol tolerance
History: Vlad is a big man who likes big bangs, whether they might come from the enormous shotgun he carries or a well-placed series of demolition charges. As long as it goes BOOM, he's happy with it. Despite his lack of general skill in comparison with the rest of his unit, he's enthusiastic about his work and always looking for an opportunity to blast something into smaller pieces than it originally consisted of. Though capable of limited discretion when on the job or otherwise called for, his manner tends to be much like his tools of the trade; energetic, unsubtle, and with a complete lack of volume control. Needless to say, he tends to give the impression that sobriety is a terrible condition that only happens to other people, even when he's not actually drunk. Additionally, he has a marked interest in becoming a gunsmith.
Equipment: AN-94, KS-23 23mm shotgun with extended barrel, Barrikada slug rounds (9), Shrapnel-25 shot rounds (9), Zvezda flashbang rounds (2), Cheremukha-7M CN gas rounds (2), 1.5lb PVV-5A plastic explosive charges (4), detonation accessories, Russian military gear, formal wear, rugged and worn-out old jacket. Current funds: $9,463
Notes: Poor in general military skill compared to the other Russians, except in use of shotguns and explosives. Terrible at controlling automatic fire, too used to massive shotgun recoil and thus overcompensates when trying to keep lighter weapons in line. Only accurate when firing one shot at a time or when using the AN-94's 2-round burst due to its recoil mechanics. Horrible driver, could probably crash a golf cart in an open field. Cannot cook. At all. Managed to set a stove on fire when boiling water at one point. Eats a lot of microwave meals and fast food as a result, if someone else isn't cooking. That and his huge appetite might explain why he's a bit on the heavy side. Known to sow terror and discord amongst all-you-can -eat buffet restaurants due to aforementioned gastronomic capacity. This unit is periodically under the erratic control of Gunpowder Symphony.

Igor
Heritage: Russian
Languages: Russian, English, Turkish
Occupation: Minion of Armas Laine
Affiliations: Armas Laine
Appearance: 6'2”, Dark Hair, not only a big man but a large one, he seems singularly solid.
Capabilities: Using heavy guns, taking hits, a tinkerer especially when it comes to Armors, inept when it comes to common modern electronic use.
History: Igor is not slow per say, but he does prefer to take his time mulling things over. He is the kind of man that is not only capable of patience, but actually enjoys the passing flow of time. He obviously dislikes using rapid firearms, but somehow prefers the use of Heavy ones like RPGs to being a sniper. He not so secretly has a love for big booms, so his strategies tend to focus on herding the targets in a group for him to blow them up. He has a deep love and affinity for clocks, which comes from his late grandfather, a clockmaker who raised him. When his family fell on hard times, the only thing he could keep was a pocket watch he pilfered, and has been repairing ever since. Igor only touches his pocket-watches when sober, but has gotten into the habit of heavily tinkering on everything else he could get his hand on when he gets drunk- that is to say, almost every night if he can help it. Not a big talker, he nonetheless is liked on his team if only for his habit to cobble-up emergency repairs on his squad's equipment, especially armors. His talent with tinkering mechanical parts is matched by his utter inability to do anything when it comes to modern electronics. He is utterly inept with them and doesn't like microwaves, ovens, microwave ovens, toasters, TV, the internet-he's QUITE detached from modern media, and only reads magazines and journals-such as ones on Armor.
Equipment: AN-94, a heirloom pocket watch as well as another he uses, Russian military gear, formal wear, elegantly tailored and rifle-concealing jacket.
Notes: This minion's puppet strings are sporadically and largely incompetently pulled by Arkeus.

Lyubov Ivanna Khorobrova
Heritage: Russian
Languages: Russian, English, Turkish
Occupation: Contractor, currently working for Armas Laine
Affiliations: Armas Laine
Appearance: 5'11", 150lbs, muscular build. Light skin, crew cut black hair,
Capabilities: Superb awareness, tenacious determination, competency with small arms and grenades, competency in sambo, passable classical and jazz guitar player
History: She has a serious personality flaw where she comes off as a cold fish, unusually humorless and sober. Downright horrible at leadership; good spearcarrier, sufficient by herself, but bad at directing others effectively. She's got trouble coordinating anything beyond personal actions. This inability to coordinate beyond what's right in front of her extends beyond leadership into difficulty with general multitasking.
Equipment: AN-94, , Russian military gear, formal wear, elegantly tailored and rifle-concealing jacket.
Notes: This minion's puppet strings are sporadically and largely incompetently pulled by (CaptainButthead a.k.a. BUTTZ).